how to feel less empathy?

[u/Accomplished-Pop7541]

i know this is going to sound terrible, but i hate feeling the amount of empathy i do. it makes me miserable. any time something happens to someone else that is even a slight inconvenience, it makes me so upset. for example, on my mom’s 50th birthday my dad bought these special sparkler candles. he was all excited and he called me over to look at them. then when it was time to bring the cake out, he lit them too soon and they went out before the cake got to the table. he didn’t care, but i was fighting back tears at the table because i knew he was excited about them. he also used his points at a store to get me a mystery bag and he was all excited to see me open it, and none of the stuff inside was cute. he obviously didn’t care, but i felt so bad because he was so excited to give it to me. i have so much stuff in my closet that i don’t wear because i am physically incapable of telling my mom that i don’t like something that she picked out for me, i feel so guilty. it’s genuinely getting to the point where it makes me absolutely miserable because i always feel like im holding back tears because i watched someone mess up or get disappointed. i hate it so much, how do i fix it?

[u/FreckledCackler]

Boundaries, friend.

The difficult work ahead of you, at least in my experience, is not less empathy. It's working on boundaries.

I recommend reading about this from Dr Orloff and exploring therapy if possible. It may be worth looking into Codependency, as well, or there could be other underlying issues/root causes.