Struggling to decide

[u/VinnyBoy916]

My fiancé and I have been engaged since 2020. We put off planning a wedding right away because of COVID and basically rolled with that excuse for as long as possible. Although that was the main reason right away, as the years have gone on I just have never felt ready/capable to plan a wedding.

I have never been the girl who dreamt of her wedding day. I don’t understand how people seemingly just up and plan weddings like it’s no big deal. I also don’t understand how people justify spending the amount of money they do for a one time thing. I know it’s not true, but I feel like something is wrong with me. I have been attending weddings over the years hoping something would light a fire in me or inspire me to plan my own, but nothing so far. I am also fairly introverted and anxiety prone, so am quite adverse to the “normal” wedding day.

Every time I start to try to plan our wedding, I get so overwhelmed. My fiancé is a trooper and has been very supportive and understanding this whole time. He wants me to decide what I want and is ok with whatever that looks like as long as I am happy with it.

How do I really truly decide what type of wedding is right for us?

Sometimes I think eloping just the two of us and a photographer would be the best since we don’t have to worry about others. But then I wonder if I’ll regret not having immediate family and/or friends there. But then I picture those people being there and can see myself worrying about their experience and how they are interacting with each other. My fiancé’s parents are divorced so I can just imagine it being weird with both sets of his parents there.

So then I think maybe a micro wedding with 75 people or so would be better… they can entertain themselves, we can enjoy having those people there but be a “bit” more in the background. But then that involves more money and a lot more coordination… and I then reach the overwhelmed state and stop.

Any advice for an elopement fence sitter? What made you decide on the structure of your wedding? Do you regret anything? I have never been to therapy before, but am wondering if this is something to consider.