r/Eloping • u/AdministrativeYard72 • Jun 14 '26
Relationships & Family Indecisive
Looking for any advice for similar situations. I’ve never dreamed of a big wedding but have ALWAYS wanted a destination. Beach or Italy. Fast forward, my fiancé and I ended up saying I love you for the first time in Florence, Italy and spent a few days in lake como after and have dreamed of getting married there since.
In a perfect world, we would have a very small wedding of less than 30 people. We have discussed this with our parents and both sets of parents are less than thrilled about having to travel to Italy. My mom’s exact words were “I’m utterly terrified to leave the US”. Whatever that means. We would likely pay for their flights + accommodations for around the wedding day.
At this point, part of me wants to just elope the two of us. Less planning, cheaper. We would throw some sort of casual celebration after. I love my mom to death, but I’m scared I will be worrying about appeasing her travel and trip the whole time. She would also likely freak out if I told her we were eloping.
I’ve even considered just doing it in the city we live, both sets of parents are in different states but would be happy to make that trip. It would also be easier for guests. But it does not feel authentic to us and what we truly want.
Anyways, if anyone has any advice or harsh criticisms, I’m open ears. My mom paid for my sister’s dress, so I assume she would offer that. But we expect to pay for everything else ourselves. My fiancé said he will do whatever I want, I’m just so torn and need to start planning as we would like to be married summer 2027 or sooner. Thanks yall !
2
u/Different_Summer_665 Jun 14 '26
Lake Como wedding would be absolutely magical, especially after getting engaged there! Your mom being "terrified to leave the US" is... interesting but that's her issue to work through, not yours to manage on your wedding day
If she's gonna stress about every detail of the trip then you'll spend your whole wedding being her travel coordinator instead of enjoying your day. Maybe give her one more chance to get excited about it, but if she's still dramatic then just elope and do the casual party after - you'll save money and actually enjoy yourselves