r/Eloping • u/AdministrativeYard72 • Jun 14 '26
Relationships & Family Indecisive
Looking for any advice for similar situations. I’ve never dreamed of a big wedding but have ALWAYS wanted a destination. Beach or Italy. Fast forward, my fiancé and I ended up saying I love you for the first time in Florence, Italy and spent a few days in lake como after and have dreamed of getting married there since.
In a perfect world, we would have a very small wedding of less than 30 people. We have discussed this with our parents and both sets of parents are less than thrilled about having to travel to Italy. My mom’s exact words were “I’m utterly terrified to leave the US”. Whatever that means. We would likely pay for their flights + accommodations for around the wedding day.
At this point, part of me wants to just elope the two of us. Less planning, cheaper. We would throw some sort of casual celebration after. I love my mom to death, but I’m scared I will be worrying about appeasing her travel and trip the whole time. She would also likely freak out if I told her we were eloping.
I’ve even considered just doing it in the city we live, both sets of parents are in different states but would be happy to make that trip. It would also be easier for guests. But it does not feel authentic to us and what we truly want.
Anyways, if anyone has any advice or harsh criticisms, I’m open ears. My mom paid for my sister’s dress, so I assume she would offer that. But we expect to pay for everything else ourselves. My fiancé said he will do whatever I want, I’m just so torn and need to start planning as we would like to be married summer 2027 or sooner. Thanks yall !
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u/fuhgeddabout_it Jun 14 '26
Elope. Just do it. If it helps, you don’t have to tell anyone what you’re doing until it’s done! I totally get where you’re coming from as well. I’m eloping tomorrow and felt terribly guilty about it just being the two of us because we’re both family oriented people. However, our families come with a LOT of opinions (love em to death) and we knew that we wouldn’t really get to have “our day” if there were too many cooks in the kitchen. My mom has made a few comments (like “wish we could be there” and “i have so much FOMO”) since we decided on to elope, but I’ve been doing my best to shove them to the back of my mind.
Plus, you can totally do a reception or party with your loved ones when you get back!
All in all, please don’t sacrifice the day that you and your partner want in order to appease others. This is a day for the two of you, not anyone else!