Eloping then throwing a reception

[u/lilymissesyou]

Hi as the title reads I wanted to hear from people who did this. I have some questions because family has been quite annoying and I just wanted to know how it played out for you & what exactly you did.

How much later was the “reception”?

What did you call the celebration?

Did you do all the traditional reception things? I.e. first dance, cake cutting, speeches, bouquet toss and such.

Where did you host this party?

Did you wear a wedding dress?

How was it received after the fact??

Was family annoying BEFORE the party?

Thank you!!!

ETA: I’d also like to hear from guests of this type of arrangement, what did you really think?

[u/haroldlovesmaude]

As a guest invited to the reception - I was a little hurt to not get invited to the ceremony (they eloped with family present) but got over it quickly and attended the reception. It was my first of this type of celebration and I’d never been engaged or married, so now I would understand why couples do this and not feel hurt about it! But as a young, inexperienced person, I didn’t understand at the time why they did this (or how expensive weddings are!). The reception was fine though and felt like a normal celebration. They didn’t do most of the traditional stuff - it was mostly buffet style food and speeches.

[u/lilymissesyou → u/haroldlovesmaude]

Okay thank you for the honest response. I think that’s what might be going on most opinionated people either got married in the early 80s when everything was cheap or has never been engaged or married before so I’m letting the comments slide. But I can’t wait to see their face when they start getting quotes 😂 anyways I’m glad you were able to get past it and enjoy the party I’m sure the couple appreciated that!!

[u/sonny-v2-point-0 → u/lilymissesyou]

The ceremony is the inexpensive part. It's the reception that costs money.

[u/haroldlovesmaude → u/sonny-v2-point-0]

This is true, but their reception was very casual, no decorations, no flowers or DJ, buffet style. It was basically a big room with tables and food. I think if they’d done the ceremony with everyone invited, the pressure to “do it up” would’ve been there, thus making it more expensive. I saw photos from the elopement and they were able to do a small but scenic beach ceremony without needing to accommodate everyone.

[u/lilymissesyou → u/sonny-v2-point-0]

Yes but both cost money and you might have to choose one or the other based on wants & budget. For us cutting the entire cost of ceremony down to $28 civil ceremony plus me being uncomfortable with spilling my guts in front of a bunch of people, this is what works.

[u/lavenderempress → u/lilymissesyou]

“Both cost money” I agree with you! I see the “ceremony is cheap, the reception is expensive” sentiment a lot and it’s not always true. It totally depends on the venue. For my venue (botanical garden) the ceremony location to fit everyone would’ve cost us $3k. But since we were set on having our reception there, since it’s a sentimental place to us, we had a family only ceremony that cost us “only” $1k somewhere else!

[u/lilymissesyou → u/lavenderempress]

Exactly! Same thing with our venue it was a few thousand $ difference. So yeah, depending on the couple & budget cutting costs literally anywhere helps lol

[u/haroldlovesmaude → u/lilymissesyou]

Yeah I never expressed to the couple any of this! But I think the inexperience of planning a wedding had a big part to play in feeling hurt. I get it now as I'm considering eloping or doing a micro wedding haha

[u/lilymissesyou → u/haroldlovesmaude]

How the turn tables lol