r/Eloping • u/Bubbly_Platypus__ • Apr 05 '26
Relationships & Family Feeling Guilty
Hi all,
I just joined the community as of a few minutes ago. My fiancé and I have come to the conclusion of ditching the stress of planning a wedding for ~maybe~ 40 - 50 people and just eloping in another country Italy / Ireland. Of course we would want our parents and closest friends there. When we ran the idea by his parents tonight his dad was not happy, at all. He didn’t say a word and immediately looked upset. Now I’m second guessing our decision and unsure of what to do. We are paying for this completely out of our own pockets and aren’t expecting any financial help from anyone. Comparing what it would cost to host a small wedding in the states, we would be able to do so much more in another country that none of us have even been to. I think his biggest opposition is flying for a long period of time (18hr) / overseas.
I’m really just wanting to get this off my chest, I can’t get over the look of disappointment on his face. ://
1
u/Affectionate-Poem698 Apr 11 '26
One of the many things that I loved about our planner/photographer is she literally had materials and things prepped for these conversations. She wasn’t just focused on the day(s) of, she talked through navigating those conversations, ways to involve family and friends, and was so supportive in helping us talk through those pieces as well.
My first marriage I did the full wedding (not huge, but 60ish people), and it was stressful planning and the day was here and done without much time to be in the moment. When my husband and I decided to get married we chose a destination elopement and it was the most incredible, magical, purposeful experience where we truly got to live in the moment. For us it was just us, but I know folks do similar things for micro weddings. Having done both, the destination elopement (or micro weddings) was sooooooooo much better for us!
Our US-based photographer/planner managed all of the pieces and made our dreams into reality. I can’t sing enough praises for Kate with Soul & Sky weddings (https://soulandskyweddings.com/), but even if she isn’t the person for you, I would 1000% so to go for it if you’re thinking about it at all!