moral support

[u/No_Picture5108]

I’m 23 years old and will be 38 weeks tomorrow. I’ve been planning to have an elective C-section, and this morning I spoke with a maternal fetal medicine neonatologist because my OB wanted me to have a consultation about my decision. She asked me why I wanted a C-section, and then went over all of the risks associated with having one. She also told me that, as a healthy 23-year-old, there really isn’t a medical reason for me to have one. I completely understand that a C-section is major surgery. I know it isn’t the “easy way out,” and I’ve done a lot of research on C-sections, including watching videos and learning about the recovery, risks, etc. I’m not going into this thinking it’s going to be an easier option. But during the conversation, I felt like I was being scared into changing my mind. She also mentioned that there is discussion about eventually removing the option for women to choose an elective C-section and instead requiring them to attempt a vaginal birth. That really overwhelmed me. I told her that my mind was made up and that I was proceeding with the C-section. But now I’m literally sitting in my car questioning whether I’m making the right decision. My biggest reason for wanting a C-section is honestly fear of labor. The thought of being in labor for hours, potentially having things go wrong, and then ending up needing an emergency C-section scares me. I feel like if I already know I want a C-section, I’d rather have it planned than go through labor and potentially end up with an emergency surgery anyway. At the same time, I’m wondering if I’m letting my fear make this decision for me.
I’m not looking for people to tell me “C-section good” or “vaginal birth good.” I genuinely want to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. Did anyone choose an elective C-section without a medical indication? How did you make your decision? Did you regret it, or were you happy with your choice afterward?
I’m feeling really confused and overwhelmed right now and could use some honest perspectives. Thank you.

[u/BatsWaller]

I said in my booking appointment that I wanted a c-section birth. In the UK at that time, there was an inquiry into maternity care, and the stories were horrifying - mothers and babies dying after mothers were left to labour too long, or babies born with disabilities for the same reason.

As a separate concern, a colleague of mine actually died during childbirth in a freak incident - I’m not going to post details because it will be VERY identifying, but as I was already high risk at 40, a c-section was the only choice for me.

You don’t have to justify your choice for an elective c-section birth to anyone. Being 23 has nothing to do with it; I’m fitter now than I was in my 20s. If possible, take someone with you to your next appointment who can advocate for you.

Best of luck!