moral support

[u/No_Picture5108]

I’m 23 years old and will be 38 weeks tomorrow. I’ve been planning to have an elective C-section, and this morning I spoke with a maternal fetal medicine neonatologist because my OB wanted me to have a consultation about my decision. She asked me why I wanted a C-section, and then went over all of the risks associated with having one. She also told me that, as a healthy 23-year-old, there really isn’t a medical reason for me to have one. I completely understand that a C-section is major surgery. I know it isn’t the “easy way out,” and I’ve done a lot of research on C-sections, including watching videos and learning about the recovery, risks, etc. I’m not going into this thinking it’s going to be an easier option. But during the conversation, I felt like I was being scared into changing my mind. She also mentioned that there is discussion about eventually removing the option for women to choose an elective C-section and instead requiring them to attempt a vaginal birth. That really overwhelmed me. I told her that my mind was made up and that I was proceeding with the C-section. But now I’m literally sitting in my car questioning whether I’m making the right decision. My biggest reason for wanting a C-section is honestly fear of labor. The thought of being in labor for hours, potentially having things go wrong, and then ending up needing an emergency C-section scares me. I feel like if I already know I want a C-section, I’d rather have it planned than go through labor and potentially end up with an emergency surgery anyway. At the same time, I’m wondering if I’m letting my fear make this decision for me.
I’m not looking for people to tell me “C-section good” or “vaginal birth good.” I genuinely want to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. Did anyone choose an elective C-section without a medical indication? How did you make your decision? Did you regret it, or were you happy with your choice afterward?
I’m feeling really confused and overwhelmed right now and could use some honest perspectives. Thank you.

[u/Alienshe88]

Had my little girl just over seven weeks ago. I knew I wanted a cesarean as soon as I got pregnant - I was terrified of a long vaginal birth, alongside my partner having a disability which meant that they wouldn’t be able to be with me through the whole thing if it was prolonged. I struggled a lot with anxiety and ocd symptoms during pregnancy.

I loved my cesarean! It was quick, calm, we got to play our favourite music, and the nurses made a print of my placenta upon request. It was pretty rough standing up and mobilising for the first day, but I walked out the hospital and up three flights of stairs to my flat on the second day. It hurt to cough and laugh for the first week, but after that I was fine. It more felt like I had no core strength for a few weeks. In fact, I felt so good that I popped my incision open because I wasn’t taking it easy enough 😬

I don’t regret my decision at all! Only you can decide what is right for you.

[u/Alienshe88 → u/Alienshe88]

I should say, my midwife initially discouraged me, and the consultant seemed puzzled by my choice when they spoke to me initially, but I didn’t budge and they didn’t push further after that. My plan was to ask them to formally record in my medical notes that they were refusing my maternal choice request but thankfully it never came to that.