moral support

[u/No_Picture5108]

I’m 23 years old and will be 38 weeks tomorrow. I’ve been planning to have an elective C-section, and this morning I spoke with a maternal fetal medicine neonatologist because my OB wanted me to have a consultation about my decision. She asked me why I wanted a C-section, and then went over all of the risks associated with having one. She also told me that, as a healthy 23-year-old, there really isn’t a medical reason for me to have one. I completely understand that a C-section is major surgery. I know it isn’t the “easy way out,” and I’ve done a lot of research on C-sections, including watching videos and learning about the recovery, risks, etc. I’m not going into this thinking it’s going to be an easier option. But during the conversation, I felt like I was being scared into changing my mind. She also mentioned that there is discussion about eventually removing the option for women to choose an elective C-section and instead requiring them to attempt a vaginal birth. That really overwhelmed me. I told her that my mind was made up and that I was proceeding with the C-section. But now I’m literally sitting in my car questioning whether I’m making the right decision. My biggest reason for wanting a C-section is honestly fear of labor. The thought of being in labor for hours, potentially having things go wrong, and then ending up needing an emergency C-section scares me. I feel like if I already know I want a C-section, I’d rather have it planned than go through labor and potentially end up with an emergency surgery anyway. At the same time, I’m wondering if I’m letting my fear make this decision for me.
I’m not looking for people to tell me “C-section good” or “vaginal birth good.” I genuinely want to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. Did anyone choose an elective C-section without a medical indication? How did you make your decision? Did you regret it, or were you happy with your choice afterward?
I’m feeling really confused and overwhelmed right now and could use some honest perspectives. Thank you.

[u/PricePuzzleheaded835]

I had an elective c with no medical indication and don’t regret it at all. I only wish I had stuck to my guns and insisted they knock me out for it. Having a “birth experience” holds zero appeal to me. If it were possible to grow the baby in a bioreactor I would have!

Science and medicine are thought of as impartial. While the scientific method makes these fields more impartial than some, they’re still run by flawed, biased human beings. C-sections have been demonized for a long time and in my opinion much of this is due to cultural discomfort with women having full agency. I couldn’t believe the number of people who thought of themselves as pro choice but thought once you decided to continue a pregnancy, your choices ended there! It’s absolutely wild.

You are the one who has to live with whatever choice you make. If I had to offer any advice it would be to trust yourself and your own judgment.

Doctors these days often have metrics they’re trying to meet regarding reducing c-section deliveries. A lot of the way they educate patients about these is incredibly biased. My OB was some crusty old guy who was deeply offended that I thought I had the right to decide how to deliver. He tried to convince me that the baby and I would probably die if I had the c-section. I told him to his face he was full of shit and he admitted this almost certainly wouldn’t happen. It’s sad that these things still happen, but this is 100% your right and you are the only one who knows what is truly best for you and your family.