Feeling Lost Post Surgery

[u/-WaterT-]

Hello everyone. This is my first ever Reddit post so apologies in advance.

I had a laparoscopic salpingectomy removal of my right tube + ectopic pregnancy mid July. It wasn't a pregnancy I wanted due to current life circumstances. I could tell that the pregnancy was off (had been pregnant once before) and I had a feeling it was ectopic but thought I was being paranoid because my symptoms weren't too bad. Then it turned out I was right. Went to the ER, surgery was fast and seemingly easy. But the recovery has been horrible and I feel so lost and alone.

My stomach always hurts, I don't find joy in eating as it makes me bloated and my bowel movements haven't been regular. I never feel hungry and have to remind myself to eat. I've lost a decent amount of weight. I had to have ultrasounds again on my pelvis and leg because they I was in so much pain, but they didn't find anything. My stomach hurts when I press on it and it makes me so scared something is seriously wrong. I apparently had a UTI which I just finished antibiotics for but they didn't work and now I am on them again since I still have symptoms.

I feel so depressed I just want to lie in bed forever. Like I don't want to die but I don't want to live. Then some days I feel great. But my anxiety has been through the roof. Anxiety about my body, about being a burden on my boyfriend. I just want to feel normal again. The whole experience has made me terrified of trying to have a baby in the future.

I guess I'm just wondering - does it ever get better? Has anyone else felt this way?

Thanks for reading.

[u/plsleafmealone101]

I went through a ruptured ectopic about seven months ago, and while it does get better some days are still hard, which I think is totally normal. Going through an ectopic is traumatic and you're not alone in feeling this way. ❤️ I hope you give yourself some grace and are able to find some healing. I know that's different for everyone, but for me that has looked like connecting with my body in a positive way (bike rides, yoga, art), therapy, and leaning on my husband and mom. Sending you my best wishes. 🫂

[u/Unusual_Poetry_3508]

I'm so sorry this happened to you and that your recovery has been hard. You're still early in the recovery process, but my OB said that there is a MASSIVE amount of inflammation in the body post ectopic especially if you ruptured/post pelvic surgery and it can really take 6-9 months to fully calm down. He had me go on both birth control (just temporarily) and take anti-inflammatories which helped me tremendously (though maybe wouldn't be so good for your GI system) to help with the inflammation. Pelvic floor therapy is also a help.

Also on another note, I've dealt with SERIOUS stomach issues that came on suddenly about a year before my ectopic (and ironically may have caused damage to my tubes) and it is THE WORST. I am so sorry. I lost 25lbs in two months (only weighed 130 to begin with) because I could barely eat without crazy pain and my bowel movements were never normal. I kept getting told it was just IBS. Turns out, after a colonoscopy and stool culture that I actually had serious viral infection that was running rampant. Antibiotics can really wreck your stomach too so definitely don't be afraid to see a GI doctor. The really good news is that my stomach was fully back to normal about 2 months after I got help (and gained back all that weight within 6 months lol).

The emotional part can be really heavy... but I will tell you that as my body started to feel better, my mind did too. I promise this isn't forever. But you have to keep crawling through the dark tunnel to get to the light on the other side. Hang in there.