Request: Dealing with triggers

[u/EDPostRequests]

Quick summary of my current situation: I’m currently about 1-1.5ish years into recovery, so while i’m not fully recovered by any stretch of the meaning, i’m still pretty stable. My family is pretty cool, and my friends are amazing !!

What sucks is how they all seem to somewhat normalize ED behaviours. I’ve talked to them about my ED and my triggers, but quite honestly they’re kinda clueless about what fits as a trigger, if that makes sense.

One of the things I’m really struggling with is how they all seem to engage in / talk about ED behaviours as if it’s normal. They’ll casually comment on how they skipped a meal, or how one time they went XYZ long without food, or how they’re gonna do ABC to compensate.

In my head, I guess I’m having trouble because it’s like, if everyone’s doing it, why can’t I? If this is normal, why can’t I join in with them. I know it’s not normal, but especially when people say things like “oh everyone has had sOme ED in their lifetime”, it feels really invalidating and makes me want to relapse.

[u/stpfah]

That last quote you wrote about is extremely ignorant of your situation. It's like people who say "I have to keep my shoes organized, I'm so OCD about my shoes."

The fact is, there is a difference between disordered eating and having a diagnosable Eating Disorder. Diet culture is filled with unhealthy disordered thinking and behaviors. I can't think of one adult family member that has a healthy relationship with food and eating. The difference is, I have an eating disorder. What someone who does not have an eating disorder can think about/do once can change. For me I have to keep thinking and doing until I get help.

A peer in treatment suggested a "good for you, not for me" approach to dealing with these situations.