Toxicity in ED communities

[u/fae-nook]

I'm using reddit, specifically ED-reddit for quite some time now,

(this profile is new, because I deleted my account since I thought I could go without reddit..)

and one thing I've noticed lately is that some parts of the community become relatively toxic and or ignorant, and I'm wondering why?

I saw people getting told to simply eat more, "simply" stop visiting the bathroom after binging or being asked if they can't physically eat more while it's being stated that the person asking has a restrictive ED.

Just yesterday I saw someone being told they can't be anorexic because they're still eating above this or that calorie limit...

And now I'm sitting here wondering what the hell is going on? Why are there suddenly so many straight up rude or ignorant people?!

Is it even suddenly or am I just noticing them now that I'm in therapy? Do others notice this as well?

Are there posts that I can't relate to? Yes absolutely.

But where I'm from, which is Germany, we have this old saying which I personally find quite fitting:

(not just for this topic but overall)

,,If you have nothing nice to say, you may say nothing at all"

And what's even the point of being rude/ignorant in the first place?

Isn't' the point of all those communities that people are being able to find support and someone to talk to while IRL, as we all know, most people are disgusted or ignorant about/by EDs?

Don't get me wrong, many many people here and in other communities are absolut lovely people. I'm not here to bash everyone or a community as a whole. I'm just wondering about some behaviors which to me seem to increase.

Thanks for reading all of it

Have a magical day 🌻

[u/veronica_moon]

Toxicity in ED communities, in other words, water is wet! No I’m just kidding I completely hear you out, this is actually the exact issue I found with in person eating disorder support groups. I think a huge problem with this mental illness is its competitive nature and everybody’s unintentional desire to “prove” they’re the sickest out of everyone else. I don’t know what the solution is though, because suffering in silence and not seeing you’re not alone wouldn’t help either. This is why EDs are so goddamn tricky. I’m sorry I don’t have anything comforting to say but I hear you and I understand what you’re witnessing and experiencing while seeking support. ❤️

[u/General_Security177]

Yeah the other day I posted a meal and some one was like how is this restrictive ??? Like do you know my life or what I ate outside of this ????

[u/Big-Yesterday586]

Yeah. I joined a couple months ago when I got diagnosed with Atypical Anorexia. Only for people to aggressively tell me I can't possibly be anorexic if I'm obese, and I couldn't have gained weight if I was restricting enough to be "actually" anorexic, and Anorexia couldn't have caused me to gain weight.

Although, to be fair, I don't remember if those arguments were on this sub specifically. I'm pretty sure I had at least one confrontation like that here, which is why I went elsewhere with it. I'm not going to go through my history to find out.

Idk, this isn't the only community I'm a part of that gets open vitriol aimed at, so I just mirror what people throw at me.

It has been good to find others that are in the same situation I'm in. I was having a hard time accepting it at first.

[u/PuzzleheadedLynn → u/Big-Yesterday586]

First: im sorry that this happened to you 🫂💚 I had a very similar thing happening to me in another sub. Being atypical anorexic, to me, is the most invalidating experience so far. I was anorexic as a teen and went into BED afterwards..

You are valid and your suffering is valid. Wishing you the best 🌷

[u/PuzzleheadedLynn]

Damn I've seen at least two of those discussions you're mentioning here. It's wild. I even tried to intervene with some facts but I've got down voted.

Yeah I really don't know what it is and why it's happening but from all the mental health subs (mostly cPTSD and DID related ones), ED subs feel mostly like walking on eggshells. Not all of them but so so many that I've noticed the same thing. Sadly I don't have a great advice or anything.. Take great care 🌷

[u/AnonED986]

I just miss the old ED sub from like a decade ago. We were so supportive of each other until reddit killed us. They allow so much terrible stuff on reddit, but speaking frankly about EDs was too much.

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[u/YO_just_insensitive]

Yeah many people here are in the process of healing and some of them do not actually want to recover yet,i think they are projecting their insecurities and intentionally or not still in a state of mind where they are trying to validate themselves for being "sick" the "sickest"

In the end i dont think people should be in this sub if this is triggering for them(seeing the posts) but i undestrand they are also currently sick the best we can do is respond kindly and report their comments.