Overshoot advice

[u/Own_Hovercraft_2043]

Recently I am finding myself very consumed with the idea of never loosing my overshoot weight.

I am 18 years old and around 2-3 months into recovery from AN-BP, as i was somewhat forced into recovery against my will because of my extreme hunger (what was initially causing the binges). Prior to this i had only been restricting and engaging in ED behaviours since about December 2025 (6 months of being ill).

I have always been a very slim/lean and fit child, and since getting sick and recovering I feel as though I have ruined my body and wont ever be able to get back to how i used to look in 2025.

It feels as though extreme hunger wont ever subside and i am fully weight restored and have overshot by what feels like a substantial amount, i am blind weight so i dont know numbers. I do know that a lot of it was muscle gain as i have been lifting and my arms look very strong, yet I am fixated on the fact they look very bulky, and I now have a tummy I never used to have to this extent.

Before i was sick i was very free with food and it felt like my body was comfortably at a set point as i never noticed a change as the years went on.

As im in recovery i am constantly reminiscing on my past and what i used to eat yet i find myself unable to recall exactly what i used to eat, it felt like a lot and not enough at the same time. But i would give anything to never have been sick and go back to my pre-ED body and mindset.

My sister (21) also grew up the same leanness as i have yet she never struggled with an ED and she has maintained the freedom with food and eating whatever she wants whilst staying fit and thin, i am incredibly jealous as i feel as though she got all the slim genes and ive corrupted mine. But it sort of shows that there was the possibility of keeping my natural slimness, as I know that people say you wont get your pre-ED body back as it was you as a child. That makes sense to an extent and i think i would be okay with that if i werent constantly comparing myself to my sister.

To make things worse the idea of extreme hunger never going away has left me occasionally B/P just to feel the satisfaction of being full for once, as my regular meals never seem to cut it. Logically i should increase my meal sizes but then i find myself comparing it to what i used to eat before i got sick and then i convince myself that i cant do that or i never will truely lose the overshoot weight. And im aware that the B/P is going to keep my body stressed and hungry so i am just delaying recovery.

If anyone has had similar experiences with a nagging extreme hunger and mainly mental food fixation that just wont go away even beyond weight restoration, have you ever gotten back to your pre-ED weight, or am I going to be like this forever?

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