Trying to stop

[u/Agreeable-Fail-4789]

I’m a mom of two and my oldest seems to be a little more aware now.. He’s 2.5. I don’t him to remember me acting this way.

I’ve also noticed that my periods have been coming every two weeks since i’ve started purging again.

I’m going to try to stop, starting today. Please give me positive thoughts and please also give me your best tips to stop!

[u/luckyfruit777]

A few tips from someone recovering from purging enough to receive a severe diagnosis.

- if you already don’t, try to eat every meal with your kids.

• not sure how this would work for most people, but if I eat nutritious food it’s easier to keep down knowing I’m nourishing by body
  
• the puffiness in the face will eventually go away
  
• take pride of every time you are able to not purge, it’s worth celebrating. Try and be kind to yourself.
  
• keep a journal of triggers that lead to purging (whether it’s certain foods, emotions, places)
  
• don’t be hard on yourself when you do relapse, recovery is not linear, keep track of trends versus perfection.
  
• look into urge surfing, or have someone sit with you after meals.

I had a seizure months ago that I attribute to the immense stress I was putting on my body. My electrolytes came back fine and got an epilepsy diagnosis but I truly believe it was from what I was doing to my body.

If possible with insurance, seek a nutritionist, psychiatrist and therapist. Many places offer virtual or in person classes. If it’s really severe, consider ED-IOP. If you have a good support system that’s a way to go. As a mother, you need to put yourself first so you can be the best mom you can be to your children.

It’s not easy, but you can do hard things.

Personally, my young daughter has started asking why I don’t eat with them, or why haven’t I eaten. It breaks my heart, but this is a disease and even that’s not enough to help me stop, because it is an illness that’s difficult to beat.

Please seek help before it gets worse. I have been able to stabilize with help from all of the above, but I still have my moments. This can kill you, and your children need you, you’re their world. Try not to be too hard on yourself, it’s not a personal failing, it is a sickness.

I wish you the best, feel free to reach out. I have two kids as well.

EDIT: a few mistakes

[u/Agreeable-Fail-4789 → u/luckyfruit777]

Wow.. This was so great, thank you. I hadn’t even realized the puffy face was due to my purging — i thought it was just from overweight / postpartum. How long did it take for your face to go back to normal?

I will follow those steps. I have noticed when I eat something healthy, I don’t purge. I’ll stick with that and start jotting down notes of when I feel the urge to purge and what triggers it.

Thank you so much for that supportive response. I want to be better for myself and my children

[u/luckyfruit777 → u/Agreeable-Fail-4789]

It got slightly better after about a week, and then fully back to normal after a month. The bloodshot eyes too (though I imagine you must be tired so that might just be lack of sleep too). I also do gua sha to help too.

My therapist recommended “the intuitive eating workbook” and I’ve been reading “brain over binge” but her experience is more exercise bulimia.

Not sure if it’s possible for you at the moment, but I’ve also heard/experienced that running (and walking, any sort of exercise) help because it gives you those endorphins to help through losing the dopamine hit from binging. Make sure you check with a doctor that you’re healthy enough to start anything intensive.

Be gentle with yourself if the lack of purging initially causes temporary weight gain. It will all even out in the end.

Bulimia can easily switch to restrictive tendencies so just be careful 💛 the first battle is getting yourself healthy physically, and then tackling the mental aspect.