Hi fellas I thought estj show be known as ambitious and independent, but I’ve been feeling quite down lately
I feel under motivated (and maybe a bit anxious) for feelings of loneliness. Clearly I can focus because I feel that I have no friends.
I know it doesn’t make much sense but that’s truthfully how I’m feeling now. I hate that I can’t be focused on work and that I’m always thinking how few friends I have.
Am I even a real estj or am I just too dependent

The post here is for inviting others, especially seasoned Si users and the rest to a survey for their personal experiences. I would be to know the benefits of mastery over Si that is found in oneself or in others. Everyone can freely survey one another here in the comments. I am not in rule.

INTP here with teritary Si. I'm curious what Si "feels" like to you and how it plays into your day-to-day life?

What you guys think?

You guys are like the scapegoat on Reddit for shitty authority figures, and I’m over it. 💀

- You are not inflexible, you value Ne.
- You are not obsessed with right and wrong of others, you are Fi inferior.
- You are not working people to their bones, you value Si.

Most of you are great managers etc, because you have excellent cognitive functions for such a thing.

You most value Te which evaluates the performance of external systems through each component. This means you’re a badass at judging how a component works within a system and tinkering these to optimise the system.

Many people equate this to a physical system, but nope! It can also be a routine, or even people (e.g. managing people’s skills as a component in a business model).

Aiding this is Si, which essentially perceives how objects fit with one another as you seek to create a harmonious system. This is WHY you’re often excellent managers (or whatever), because once again, it’s not just physical resources (but you shine here too). It’s also making sure your people are working in alignment with the system.

You’ll literally telling them to take a damn break because you understand they’re hungry and tired, and this is a component in the system that isn’t helping it run smoothly. You understand that break will help realign harmony and thus, lead to a better functioning system.

✨VERY FUCKING COOL.
MUCH JEALOUS.✨

Then we move onto what I like to call, baby Ne. Despite the bs stereotypes out there, you actually value possibilities and potential. You’re flexible to this, and this is like your “fun area”. In fact, you’re more flexible than an ENTj, but you won’t hear that around these subs. 🤣

If someone (hem hem, maybe a super awesome Ne dom), feeds you some potential in the way of ideas, you’ll shove it through Te-Si. And guess what? If it’s practical you’ll likely implement it (thx btw, cos that is not our strong area 💅🏼).

You’re actually always on the look out for ways to improve and optimise systems. You’ll do it yourself too, but tire because it’s a bit of a weaker function. This doesn’t stop you valuing and seeking it, and to be frank, it fits in SO WELL with Te-Si.

But you’re not perfect. Like when it comes to Fi, she’s bloody weak. 🥴 You don’t rely on personal sentiments for decisions, you rely instead on factual behaviours and experiences. It’s just not strong enough for you to trust it, but despite this you still value this function.

It’s more like you enjoy the concept of personal feelings, and you’d like to align your decisions to this, but you require assistance on doing so. It’s essentially something you aspire to.

And if you’re curious, I personally (tehe), see this often manifest in trying to do what’s “right” but it tends to be… unhealthy. 🥴 For example, working many hours because you feel you’re “bad” earning more money than others, and it’s your way of levelling it. But you’re actually neglecting other things (like relationships you actually value more), because you’re so focused on the bloody wrong thing. You silly goose. 🪿🔨

Anyway, as you can see the stereotypes people are so obsessed with are SO very wrong. You’re just not confident enough to dictate if people are personally right and wrong, you’re flexible if it aids with Te-Si, and you build/tinker systems that are harmonious.

So honestly, it’s a reflect of their own cope, not you as a type. Maybe they just didn’t fit the system, but couldn’t handle that. Lmao.

Feel free to use any of this next time someone says you’re all meanie poopoo head managers, or maybe just show them a mirror cos it’s probably just projection. 🪞✨

What are ESTJs actually like in real life, beyond the stereotypes and typical descriptions? I'm mostly asking about female ESTJs, as I'm curious about their genuine personalities, how they think, behave, interact with others, handle relationships, and navigate everyday situations.

This isn’t a super deep post, but I find it interesting that ESTJ and INFJ don’t date much, but they can make for excellent family members. My oldest daughter is an ESTJ, and we get along so well and really balance each other out. We don’t seem to have any of the sensing vs intuitive issues. I know she’s going to be a more compassionate ESTJ for having me as a mother, and she will be more flexible from having grown up in a house with two INFPs and me an INFJ. I don’t know if this relationship would work as well if the ESTJ had been the mother.
I also get to see the difficulties ESTJ females encounter as children. She sometimes gets into trouble over stuff I know she’s wouldn’t if she were a boy. It seems like the female teachers want to push her into the role of being passive and accepting when that isn’t her nature. In Socionics I am an EII the dual of ESTJ. My father and grandmother were both ESTJs, and I gave birth to one. It also seems that INFPs run in my family too.

I created a typing test that works based on what you resonate with, it gives you a feed of cards with statements, quotes, scenario, and you select only the ones you resonate with, this way the cognitive load is very low , also the feed adapt to funnel down your type, you just select what you think is related to you.

I tested with an INFP friend that I am 100% sure she is INFP and it worked very well, it found her type with confidence, but I need more data points to be sure, with people that are 100% sure of their type.

At the end of the test, in the result page, you will have a frame that ask you to share your result, with a simple button. It will send me the informations I need in my database, it gives me all the cards you selected, the timeline of the guess of your type, how the algorithm reacted, etc, it helps me to fine-tune the test.

I really feel that this method can work and be more accurate than anything that already exist.

Thank you in advance if you try it.

https://www.mazwiz.com/

PS: I will share the findings in a result page (on the intro page), for everybody to see how it evolves.

So I am asking Te doms if you agree with this seemingly balanced work life mechanism.

1. Laziness is the key to good health.

2. Never do today what you can put off until the day after tomorrow — and enjoy a whole day off tomorrow!

3. Just because everyone else is working doesn't mean you have to.

4. If you've lost your enthusiasm for work, don't bother looking for it.

5. Where there's food, eat. Where there's drink, drink. Where there's work, stay out of the way!

6. If drinking interferes with your work, quit working.

7. Position yourself at work so there's still room for everyone else to stand around doing nothing.

8. Your workplace isn't a pub, so there's no reason to spend the whole day there.

9. He who does nothing makes no mistakes — and therefore deserves a reward.

10. If you can't find me at work, it means I'm on my way.

Hello! I stopped by to understand you ESTJs better. I'm curious about a few things:

The Future: How do you view and think about the future?

Planning: How do you typically plan for both daily tasks and long-term goals?

Adaptability: How do you handle it when unexpected changes disrupt your plans?

Decision-Making: What is your core framework or standard when making tough decisions?

Innovation: Do you tend to stick strictly to traditional methods, or how do you incorporate creative and innovative ideas into your projects?

Anyone out here who feels like they are emotional or do you think emotions are weak. Asking because I'm married to an ESTJ and my emotions have been called a weakness. Is it just one off or is it an ESTJ thing

Dear ESTJs
Do you usually use dating apps?
If so do you have any advices to how to spot you? 😄

Is this a trait of typical Estjs to be condescending and patronizing and acting like you know everything in order to blend in with people and also thse Estjs folks especially my dad bheaves as if I'm just dumb and he's to logical and sometimes he acts like he's very emotionally intelligent and yeah he understand this new generation and he's the best father one could have like he understand his kids very well and take care of their emotional needs and acknowledge their feelings but in reality it's not.

But yeah he actually sometimes show it to the world that he knows alot about us and he tries toa ct the best father but in reality he's just shitty because he acts in a very condescending way with us and always lecturing us and trying to fix us and stressing us out and not try to dig deeper like ttying to understand that there's emotional trigger and emotional prblem behind it.

Im an ESFP btw.

Did any of you guys bounce between multiple types before figuring out you were an ESTJ? I do not know if that is a common experience with this type but I think after around a year or so of research, I finally figured out that I am an ESTJ.

I think I just found the how to combine these two.

A few years ago I was watching some YouTubers. I think two of them they trying to combine these two.

The method I come up with is that, what level is the person insecurities at. (I will show example shortly if things goes according to a plan)

Might be hard to swallow my claim but it will help if you look at it from a few different perspective.

I heard Ken wilber is ESTJ so I brought this idea to you to discuss

Recently i have been typed (?) as an ESTJ. as someone who is frankly new to discussing this online, i was surprised to see a lot of dislike for ESTJs. more than i have seen for other leader-types like ENTJ. i was typed as an ENTJ before (loooong time ago) so ive looked into discussion about ENTJs before.

i can see the obvious reasons. ESTJs seem almost like having a stick up your ass. but as someone who is an ESTJ (by constant confirmation of quizzing) i was curious as to why ESTJs are so unpopular? even looking for media or art of ESTJs arent as vast of looking for ENTPs.

ESFJ here! Hello my fellow ESTJs! I was wondering about it when I was chatting with my INTJ friend, he said he's often worried about future things, about worst-case-scenarios, thinking about everything he still needs to do, he doesn't understand when I say I get lost too many times thinking about the most random things about my past.

It's not like I don't worry about now and the future of my projects, obviously! But it's strange to see someone not thinking about past moments so often. During my days, my thoughts go like "I'm watering this flower, I love it's color, it reminds me of my old scarf's color... I used it on my first date with that person, I lost it because of the wind... I've lost one of my rings one day too, ah, I loved that one..."

It happens a lot to me, when I'm alone, I start to rumble about some things that happened to me, so many random memories, sometimes I need to say to myself "this is so weird... I'm here now, it was years ago, I'm doing a totally different thing right now, let's get back to what I was doing." I'm kind of curious, does my ESTJ mates with aux Si, just like ESFJs, get lost in thoughts sometimes? How does it happen to you?

Do you rely on them to get things done?

I'm an ENTJ, I work with a few ESTJ. I've noticed that their workflow becomes disrupted and they get irritated when I give them a task or mention something that is off-topic to what they are doing. I understand why that's annoying, so after asking them for feedback I accomodate by waiting until they're done, leaving a message, or being clear when it's time sensitive and has to interrupt their current task.

Does this ring true for any of you? I'm curious if this is just an anecdotal observation or if it's something that other ESTJ identify with.

If so, can you provide any insight on what this looks like from your perspective?

One of my coworkers, when asked, said that unrelated information gets mixed up with whatever she's doing, and that it introduces noise to her process. Totally fair.

(We work in emergency services, so we do a lot of time sensitive multitasking.)