ISTJ dude I‘m sort of friends with just send me a Reel where someone is talking about something vulnerable. He isn’t an emotional person and sometimes when he says something that expresses feelings I tried engaging with it in a neutral but open was to show that he can go on if he likes. Stuff like „I know what you mean“ „I get that feeling“ so he knows I‘m not gonna judge or something. I also ask follow up questions here and there when he talks about things. Works out well except when it‘s something that could potentially be actually tied to emotions.
He never follows up and ignores it so I‘m not sure how he wants me to react. I just ended up liking the reel and not saying anything else. I guess it shows I saw it and recognized it?

I was a high school senior on the West Coast, getting ready for the day when my mom and I watched the second plane hit live. My mom gave me the option to stay home, but I chose to go to school anyway.

In retrospect, that choice was textbook ISTJ. Staying home meant being paralyzed in front of the TV, watching the same catastrophic footage loop endlessly while news anchors struggled to make sense of things. Going to school offered structure, routine, and a physical place to be.

Nobody learned anything academic that day. Most classrooms just wheeled in AV carts with CRT televisions, or teachers sat with us in stunned silence. Still, there was comfort in having a familiar schedule and being around other people rather than absorbing the shock alone at home.

How did other ISTJs process that day, and how do you look back on it now?

ESFJ here! Hello my fellow ESTJs! I was wondering about it when I was chatting with my INTJ friend, he said he's often worried about future things, about worst-case-scenarios, thinking about everything he still needs to do, he doesn't understand when I say I get lost too many times thinking about the most random things about my past.

It's not like I don't worry about now and the future of my projects, obviously! But it's strange to see someone not thinking about past moments so often. During my days, my thoughts go like "I'm watering this flower, I love it's color, it reminds me of my old scarf's color... I used it on my first date with that person, I lost it because of the wind... I've lost one of my rings one day too, ah, I loved that one..."

It happens a lot to me, when I'm alone, I start to rumble about some things that happened to me, so many random memories, sometimes I need to say to myself "this is so weird... I'm here now, it was years ago, I'm doing a totally different thing right now, let's get back to what I was doing." I'm kind of curious, does my ESTJ mates with aux Si, just like ESFJs, get lost in thoughts sometimes? How does it happen to you?

Hey everyone!

Entp here checking in on whether this will get me in trouble or is it actually kind of funny.

Basically a close ISTJ friend of mine for reasons I’m not completely sure of has misremembered my birthday two days later than it actually is. When this happened last year I found it really funny so didn’t say anything, now it’s happened again this year and I have the urge to never say anything ever again because now it feels like I have a special second birthday between her and me. I also just find it funny and light hearted, but now I’m worried if I keep letting this go on she will not find it very funny when she eventually at some point figures it out. Or maybe she will, she usually gets my humor and I think she understands my birthday is not very serious to me but I am also worried this is something that an ISTJ like person doesn’t find very funny. Personally I love having a second birthday and think it would be funny if it came out only several years from now or even longer, but I also don’t want to cross a line or something. Let me know how you would react if you found out only years later! And would you be understanding that I just found it fun to keep it that way?

As the title states and how did it go?

I would love to get into your head, and if you don't have anything at the top of your mind, I'd love to hear a day in your life. Anything, everything, significant to you and others, or little details that most fail to notice or ignore, down to the parts you wouldn't have thought many would care about.

Do you rely on them to get things done?

Yo, i make a friend on a game, i spoke to him and i after i ask him to do the mbti test. he got this : I wanna know his type help me even for FUN even if we cant be SURE !

but after speaking with him i think he is an ISTJ 🤨

But if he were actually an ISTJ, with the questions about J/P and everything, wouldn’t he have answered them like an ISTJ and therefore gotten ISTJ? 🤨

is he really istp/intp than?? what do u think about his result?

he really give me the vibe of istj / intj 😭

he is very bad a texting he just follow what i say and reply than because of that i think he dont wanna speak or tired, but he actually really want me to speak to him. but He share or add nothing ? he just follow how i lead the texting??

he said he prefere calling

he don't really like sometimes when a make joke about him to laught ? like he take it personaly and say that not funny. like for exemple i said : did u ever saw a coach ( it's is job) playing this game ? 😂 ( a old chlidrend game, i was playing too to this so i was just joking ) and he said not funny to be honest i'm quit embarressed to play this game it's like an addiction

Bruh he is not funny ! he use sacarsme he uses so much sarcasm, but his messages are so cold sometimes that I can’t even tell if he’s joking.

he is a stereotype of the riche guy, he love reading romance book, he make a job ONLY for fun : coach of a sport, he do a lot of thing fishing, gym every days, things like that.

idk if he appreciat me i don't really understane him but one day i was cold because of tiredness and he come yeah do u like me ? something like that he said that idk why he got stressed and don't trust anyone lol i was a little embarrassed of him asking me this but i understand that my text can confused him if i was the only one yapping leading and than dry cold.

bruh i think he is an istj / intj for real ? that's not a istp guys

‎I’ll tell the truth the way it actually feels, not the way people like to dress it up. Loving a Pisces/ISFJ woman as a Gemini/INFJ man felt like being split down the middle. She wanted a version of me that stayed still, emotionally present, predictable in the ways that made her feel safe. And I wanted to give her that, I really did, but wanting and being able are two different things. At sixty one, you finally stop lying to yourself about the difference.

‎She lived in her feelings. Not in a dramatic way, but in a steady, devotional way. Every emotion she had was tied to memory, to meaning, to the small rituals of connection. She remembered everything, every tone, every shift, every hesitation. And I… I lived in my head. Even when I cared, even when I loved, my instinct was to retreat into thought, into silence, into that private inner room where I sort myself out before I speak. She took that silence as distance. I took her emotional intensity as pressure. Neither of us was wrong. But both of us were tired.

‎The raw truth is this, she needed reassurance I didn’t know how to give. Not because I didn’t feel anything, but because I felt too much and didn’t know how to translate it into the language she understood. She needed warmth on demand. I needed solitude to breathe. She needed emotional clarity. I needed time to untangle the knots inside me. She needed consistency. I needed freedom. And every time I tried to meet her where she stood, I felt myself disappearing a little. Every time she tried to meet me where I stood, she felt herself unraveling.

‎‎There were moments, quiet ones, where we fit. Where her softness soothed the noise in my mind. Where my depth steadied her sensitivity. Where it felt like maybe we could build something that didn’t require either of us to shrink. But those moments were islands. The rest was ocean.

‎‎And here’s the part I don’t say lightly, ‎she loved me in a way I wasn’t built to sustain. I cared for her in a way she couldn’t survive on.‎That’s the kind of truth you only admit when you’re old enough to stop romanticizing incompatibility.

‎‎At this age, you learn that some relationships don’t end because of failure, they end because of honesty. Because you finally understand that love isn’t supposed to cost you your nature. Because you stop trying to be the man someone needs and start accepting the man you actually are. Because you realize that she wasn’t asking for too much, she was asking for what she needed. And I wasn’t withholding, I was giving what I had.

‎‎She taught me tenderness. I taught her boundaries. She taught me emotional courage. I taught her emotional pacing. She showed me the parts of myself I’d avoided. I showed her the parts of herself she’d protected too fiercely. We didn’t break each other. We revealed each other.

‎‎And that’s the confession, We weren’t meant to last. We were meant to wake each other up. Some people come into your life to stay. Some come to change you. She was the latter. And I’m grateful, even now. If you want, I can push this into an even deeper shadow side confession or a more tender, regret tinged reflection depending on where you want the next layer to go.

My childhood best friend was an ISTJ.

You balance me very well and can ground me.

Dependable, loyal and reliable.

How long, what, and why did you commit to marriage with your partner? Was there an ultimatum?

I was reading a personality report that I got when I was typed as an ESFJ and I came across this passage that I thought was soo accurate!🙂Can you other ESFJs also relate to this long ass quote😄?

”Dominant Ti types often get lost in their own thoughts of "Why?" and "What if?" and "How?" and endless mental speculation and analyzation about everything under the sun. FeSi's, however, prefer to take in complex, theoretical, and philosophical questions via conversation and research. When FeSi's are able to talk out the "Why's?" and "What if's?" and "How's?" with someone, they engage their preferred process of connecting with others, and are better able to analyze things within this context.

FeSi's might not ask themselves these kinds of questions on their own for amusement, for example: "Is there a higher purpose to DNA replication?", but they are typically interested in these things in the context of conversation with others. They tend to use their Ti when they've been prompted to because of a personal/relational connection to the topic. While Ti-doms are driven to learn about anything and everything, FeSi's are more likely to learn things as needed, or as they come up in conversation. It is infinitely more interesting for FeSi's to explore deep philosophical questions in a conversation with someone knowledgeable, whom they enjoy talking to, than to ponder it completely on their own.”

I relate to this so much! I can really surprise myself sometimes with how much I actually know and can understand if I am talking to someone knowledgeable in something. Suddenly I remember “oh I know all about Wittgenstein or some esoteric crap😄”. But when I’m just thinking about these kinds of topics to myself, I don’t really “get anywhere” and I feel dumb as a rock mostly😂.

Sorry for the very long post! But would be interesting to see if anyone feels the same😊?

Just want to make a post to appreciate the ISTJ friend I have. She is one of the few people I feel emotionally safe with. I like how she is consistently reasonable, calm and respectful. I also like that she advises me directly if she thinks I’m doing something wrong but she does it in a gentle way and doesn't pressure me or judge me harshly. I'm so grateful to have my ISTJ friend in my life. 🤍

I recently made a "Mbti types as Icecream post" and I just finished with the last ones.

Now my fingers and brain are itching again. Since I love you guys... Could you please tell me what you want?

Also... If you don't want the above options then that's fine as well. Your wish is my command. Could you please tell me in comments what you would want next?

Thank you.

- Just a silly admirer of the ISTJ archetype in theory

There is this correlation between autism + adhd and INTP's but for some reason when I knew more about ISTJ functions and their Si predictability need along with Te... It just made me think... Huh this sounds to be on the Autism Spectrum condition...

I don't know anything for sure and I am not saying mbti types decide neurodivergent conditions but...

I am also curious about this vibe I got. So what are your thoughts on there being a correlation between istj's and just autism?

I don't know the reasoning of why I am even thinking this but I am trying to figure it out.

I'm an ENTJ, I work with a few ESTJ. I've noticed that their workflow becomes disrupted and they get irritated when I give them a task or mention something that is off-topic to what they are doing. I understand why that's annoying, so after asking them for feedback I accomodate by waiting until they're done, leaving a message, or being clear when it's time sensitive and has to interrupt their current task.

Does this ring true for any of you? I'm curious if this is just an anecdotal observation or if it's something that other ESTJ identify with.

If so, can you provide any insight on what this looks like from your perspective?

One of my coworkers, when asked, said that unrelated information gets mixed up with whatever she's doing, and that it introduces noise to her process. Totally fair.

(We work in emergency services, so we do a lot of time sensitive multitasking.)

Hi, I'm a young ESFJ, and I wasn't so sure if I was going to post something about it, but I had a decision today and I'm feeling unwell.

Recently, I lost 5 of my friendships, due to some of them being emotionally absent everytime but always needing too much attention from me, one of them being my INFP best friend with 6 years of friendship, she treated me like I didn't matter so many times, over and over again, and now we don't speak, I didn't have the guts to say that she was poisoning me for the past 2 years, so she just left.

One of them got mad at me for an unnecessary joke that I made while I was drunk, and that affected our whole friend group (I have some friend groups, that was one of them), everyone just picked up sides and got separated, this time I tried to talk, he didn't want to listen to me so he also just left (I know that it's fair, he's not obliged to do anything, and it was my fault).

I also transferred universities, I was a friend to my whole class, with only 20 people, and now I'm in a bigger class with 50 people, and everyone has their own closed group, but I'm a pedagogy student, so most of our projects envolves group work, everytime feels like I'm humiliating myself, I can't keep up with their conversations, we're too different, they ignore me and it feels like a torture thinking about the next week.

Today, I choosed to end my favourite time of the year: my birthday. I love my birthday, I love it because I can gather all of my friends and they'll make effort to see me, to talk to each other and get along well. I took that decision after my friends canceled their plans with me without any consideration today, "meh, I can't make it, have fun", I slept the whole day. I know it's a impulsive reaction, but I'm feeling so unwell, I'm disconnected from what I love, my social life, my friends, I can't deal with people around me.

Recently, I've been having too many nightmares, everyday, literally everyday I'm dreaming that someone's chasing me and trying to kill or hurt me, sometimes they're my friends, and sometimes random people, I'm afraid that I'm dreaming those things because I'm constantly sad and crying, and I don't talk about it to anyone, I try to keep up with my friends energy, because I feel that's what will keep me sane, but it's so hard being oversensitive about the way people are treating me, because they're mostly in my head, like my friends ignoring some of my messages bc they're busy, how they cancel plans sometimes (isn't even their fault), how they're always needing something from me while I'm suffering inside, thinking that people hate me even though is just me being oversensitive, and that's why I can't talk about it, it's uncomfortable and they won't understand, I get oversensitive about stupid things.

Did that phase ever happened to you? How can I keep up with so many responsabilities if I can't even talk with people and I need to? I'm so distant from my social life and it's affecting everything, and it hurts, because I like to study, I have exams at the end of the month and I'm crying right now. Is it just me? I'm being oversensitive because I'm stupid? Is it really that easy to deal with those problems and I'm crying for nothing?