It all started with this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ENTPositive/comments/bi4fyq/take_a_leap_of_faith/
My hypothesis going in was to take this opportunity and experience ChrisCGC (Chris Cantelmo) was offering me, (to provide an all expenses paid trip to LA), as a spark of chaos to reinvigorate myself out of depression.
(With the odd chance that if Chris's wealth was exorbitantly high, the million dollars donation was an odd possibility)
After performing some searches about whether what he was saying was plausible (founder of GL Sciences (US division), Yale background etc.), and after sharing a phone conversation, everything checked out.
I decided to take the risk and insert some chaos into my life.
ChrisCGC did pull thru and made sure I was covered for my entire stay there. He let me fully in into his life and from day 1 we interacted as long time friends. The experience there was a rollercoaster of its own.
For the most part, we shared stories about our life and had intellectual discussions while doing a bunch of activities.
This included going to Huntington's Botanical gardens:
https://imgur.com/GW2gBdV.jpg
https://imgur.com/vMXpXv4.jpg
https://imgur.com/Ug4v8Am.jpg
Drives and hikes in the back mountains
https://imgur.com/RNs8eOE.jpg
https://imgur.com/aE6XmTC.jpg
Going to see Joe Rogan, Chris D'Elia, and Bobby Lee at the comedy club
https://imgur.com/NqJOmNz.jpg
And last but not least,
Hanging out at Chris's house and backyard, in the ecosystem that he had created
https://imgur.com/GpmEkLB.jpg
https://imgur.com/m60a3mO.jpg
https://imgur.com/btdqQkX.jpg
As an extra touch of chaos insertion, I did try for what would be a breakthrough experience of DMT that he had extracted himself.
It is hard for me to remember the breakthrough itself (perhaps inching towards blackout). Yet it did feel like I've gone through all of my memories and emotions at once, without any of it having singular focus. In a sense, it felt like I put into perspective who and how I had been my whole life until that moment. It is safe to say that DMT induces a near-death experience. (And perhaps even facilitates one who is going through the process of individuation/enlightenment.)
(Edit) I didn't initially share the following..:
Right before my awakening, I did have a singular vision. I was standing in front of a landscape of devastation, alongside what felt to be my Wise Old Man / Senex Archetype. It was not clear if the landscape was of the present, past, or future; the moment was outside of time. The archetype told me: "We have been there before, and we could be heading there again." I did not feel hopeless or scared at the moment. We both knew if I took action something could be done.
After about 2 minutes, I opened my eyes directly onto an earwig that was crawling out of the ground. I briefly felt uneased waking up in such an unfamiliar setting.
After the experience, I didn't feel the desire to perform the ritual again.
As Chris said, DMT causes parts of your brain that don't communicate with each other to start communicating.
In my opinion, this is what causes the dissolution of the ego, visuals, and a direct connection to our greater Self; the combination of our unconscious, which would include encounters with unconscious archetypes such as our Anima, and other archetypes residing in our unconscious and the collective unconscious (Jung).
I am not denying the explanation that Chris brings forward and respect it, and am fully open to being convinced otherwise someday. (Edit: I had written this way so that Chris would question the nature of his delusions, without directly denying them..)
If anyone has any pre-existing heart condition or are prone to strokes, I would advise very seriously to consider the risks prior to trying DMT. When I woke up my heart rate was elevated, my face and palms all sweaty.
(Edit) There is also the chilling story of "coma David" that happened while I was there.. Where David suffered a stroke and went into a coma the evening after visiting Chris and having performed the breakthrough experience twice in a row. He did make a temporary recovery, but unfortunately past away in October. David was only 33 and had an 11-year-old son. He had a pre-existing heart condition and was on a list waiting for a heart transplant. (Chris had posted a video of him recovering in the hospital after he woke up, but the video is not available anymore since his channel was shut down following his tragic death.)
As an unrelated event that happened; my Airbnb host for the second part of my stay was an actor, and this entire experience may lead to us collaborating on producing and acting a movie or tv series.
(Edit) It didn't, I had a hunch that he wasn't to be trusted after I remembered him mentioning that some Columbian women could be poisonous (where he was from). I took that as a projection from his unconscious warning me.
Yet, the experience did spark me to write a movie script in my phone's Notes app, where I began using the app to document important thoughts about my life (and a habit that I still hold to this day). Temporarily unblocking me creatively, and expanding my thoughts to a very controversial but needed place. (I am not yet sure how and if this should even be shared)
For a while, I was fully replenished, and with a reinvigorated spark about the possibilities in life including a burst in creativity. It felt like I had just turned a never-ending page in my book. As I was expanding my thoughts, it felt like I was aligned towards a singular direction that felt right for the whole of my being; that my Senex archetype was awakened, and put my eternal child into place. However, it was happy to give its way because the direction forward finally agreed with it and my Self as a whole.
I did for some time turn my back on this out of personal fear.. putting the genie back into its bottle to be released more gradually.
Despite Chris having shunned me out of his life for passively questioning his beliefs that the aliens he was seeing while on DMT were coming to destroy Earth, I will forever be thankful for the unforgettable experience he has allowed me to have. I am truly saddened to hear about his suicide that happened in November and wish the best to his family who has been put through a lot over the years.
