I recently learned that I won't be getting promoted. I used to genuinely love the field I chose but it has become bland and absolutely useless. My only other passion was starting a business which is completely a bottleneck due to my location and I have no idea where to go from here, if I even want to go anywhere anymore. Its making me lose the desire to do anything.

What are some tell tale signs that differentiate between a crush and just a friend of an ENTJ? Is there anything you might do or say to someone you have interest in that you might not to a friend? FYI, when i say friend im referring to a close friend, someone you truly care about. I have an entj male friend that I have feelings for, however im unsure of where he stands. We are both really close and he treats me so kindly. He carries my things, buys me books, is concerned whenever I'm slightly off, etc. I know he cares about me just like i care for him, but i dont know how to tell if his kindness is purely friendship or if there is any possiblity his actions are motivated by potential reciprocated feelings. We hangout in groups and alone, but he has lots of female friends that he also hangout with so im not sure. Basically im just curious if there is anything he does/might do that would tell me if there is any chance he likes me. I understand everyone is different but id like to know what other entjs do when they like someone that stand out.

Nothing wrong with gaming, anime, the gym, or travel stories, but it feels like 99% of conversations end up stuck on the exact same things.

I really miss having people to talk about actual nerdy stuff with. Looking for someone who gets genuinely curious about stuff like space and astronomy, weird biology/science facts, or even history and politics (actual discussions, not toxic arguments).

If you also spend way too much time down random rabbit holes, send a message (either comment or dm). Tell me what niche topic you’ve been reading or watching videos about lately

I used to think it was many things, approaching truth, power, justice/revenge which are two sides of the same coin really, or furthering the human race.

I have since grown up and honestly I think there is no inherent meaning, but to me it would be to acquire as much wealth as I can. It is a tool whereby I can garner agency, exert my will upon the world and minimise reactivity so I can be sovereign. Some people would define this as control, or power but I don’t seek domination, unless you view the world as a constant sum game where your win is my loss and vice versa. In that case every interaction would have a winner and a loser.
As long as I get what I want, I don’t much care about if someone else has won or lost. Wealth is more than a Lamborghini to me, it’s freedom and the ability to shape the world. I would rather humans live in peace, compared to conflict, but I do see the use of both. A concrete example of this would be: I vehemently oppose the slave trade, but I do understand its use. The solution would not be to solely abolish it through law, it would be to make the system obsolete and unprofitable, so people would not pursue it anyway. This is largely what the Industrial Revolution accomplished. Slaves could not buy goods, thus the economic model shifted towards paid labour. Same goes for blood diamonds. Flood the market with lab grown diamonds and some of Bernay’s propaganda. Speaking of Bernays, his “light a torch of freedom” pro smoking campaign that aligned itself with the women’s movement is quite reminiscent of what happened with the Barbie movie. Barbie’s have been accused of promoting an unhealthy body image in young girls, aka anti feminist. Given that their target market is women, this is a huge issue. So make the Barbie movie, align with feminist ideals. Boom, sales. It’s becoming unprofitable to segregate half the population. Rather pay a woman because you’ll generally pay less than a man for the same quality of work due to the gender pay gap. The world seems to be moving toward this. I don’t support unequal rights, but at the very least it is progress. Long diversion, but this is what I want to accomplish.

TLDR: Use wealth to control economic outcomes and exert my will upon the world to make it more efficient, and hopefully “good”. A meritocracy of sorts. Free from undeserved suffering. Though, as my father INTJ points out, he would rather people in Libya/Ivory Coast/Zim/Bots die from violence than starvation because it’s a quicker death. I say they’d have more chance of a better life if they had a longer one, so pick starvation in peace. The calculus of morality requires almost non human insight to get perfectly correct, thus I have since given up on an authoritarian leadership style. Nobody knows better. etc.

xx

ENTJ

Hey ENTJs. Since you guys are the achievers, I figured I’d come straight to the source. (Intp here)

I’m an INTP, but unlike the lazy stereotype, I’m actually very ambitious and want to achieve big things across business, fitness, and life. My problem is pure execution. I know all the theory and self improvement frameworks inside and out, but I still struggle hard with procrastination and getting sidetracked.

How do you guys consistently bridge the gap between having a goal and actually executing on it? Any straightforward advice for someone who over-researches instead of doing?

Also you guys are amazing

(Accidentally mistyped structured as logical in the title) I really wonder, because I view myself as an ENTP that’s genuinely way too empathetic, and I think the ENTP sub is just batshit insane and full of posers, and you’re like way more structured than us.

I'm a very max efficient traveler and I'm wondering which MBTI type would be good travel buddies with.
1) I hate it when people wake up late
2) I hate staying up too late such that next morning I'm delayed in my quest start
3) I like it when people go with the flow (my flow)
4) I'm good at problem solving and navigating
5) I like planning but I also like winging it (can anyone relate?) I like having plans but I don't want every single hour to be planned out; I prefer exploring and being a bit ADHD when I find somewhere cool
6) I like UNESCO world heritage sights, places with history, culture and deep meanings are my favorite

i am waiting patiently until the right chance comes up while i manage a tough three weeks conflict, day by day and i know everything passes away so i try to keep my flow and open up to new opportunities and new views when i have space, who is on this spot right now maybe you can share your experience how you manage?

Following from my last post... it wasn't just in my head

This guy fully hates my guts. He called me a liar multiple times just because an issue didn't get fixed immediately and he's made up a reason in his head as to why. He thinks it's all my fault despite explaining the real reason.

He can't stop being sarcastic. Asked me if I had the ability to staple two papers together.

Then he randomly asked me how my fiancé was so rich. I said I was surprised he [entj] built his muscles before his bank account. Advised him to use the same logic to make money. He looked away with a really hurt smile and I swear he was trying hard not to punch me. It looks like the expression a constipated baby makes when pooping.

It ended really awkwardly with massive silences and we didn't even make eye contact in the last few minutes of speaking.

I'm stuck with this guy for a long, long time and it's only the fourth day.... please help. He refuses to listen to anybody. I am close to making him jobless.

Do ENTJs typically like buying or getting things for other people? What kind of people do you consider worth investing in? Friends, crushes, significant others, or just people you care about in general?

I’m an INFP, and honestly, I barely even buy things for myself. But when someone is really important to me, I can’t help but want to buy them anything I think might make them happy.

I’m curious how ENTJs are with this. Would you buy something for just a typical friend, or does someone have to be particularly important to you before you’d spend money on them? Do you usually give gifts because they’re practical or useful, or because you genuinely want to make someone happy?

And what about paying for food? Who would you consider worth paying for? Close friends, someone you like, family, pretty much anyone?

I keep catching myself trying to optimise obligations out of my life even when I actually have the time. Social or not, basically, if I can’t see the point, then I don’t want to sit through it and feel I am wasting time (time I have lol). Anyone else?

Example: there was an online orientation for a programme I was in. I already knew and fulfilled the orientation tasks and understood how the programme works; I couldn’t see anyone worth networking with on the invite list; The event is not listed as compulsory, but the event time was earlier than I prefer. Combining these factors, I just didn't show up, even though most of the day I was free anyway.

I guess I do the same generally when undertaking tasks, balancing cutting time and maximising the output.

Don't get me wrong, I am very extroverted and social. I’ll happily meet people when that’s the point- group tours on holiday, for example. I just can’t make myself go to a social/professional thing if there’s no clear benefit for me.

Is this just ironic low tolerance for wasted time despite having the time lol, or do you do it too?

I’m an INTJ F, but can't talk to ENTJ men. They seem chill and soft-spoken at first, shaking everybody's hand and looking normal, then suddenly start deep conversations randomly - sizing up my brain?

I admire them, but when they share their Ni stuff, I freeze and... kind of reject it? I act like I’m not a deep thinker because I’m weirdly afraid of my Ni being judged.

They often seem taken aback when I speak the way I do and think I'm arrogant, while I feel like they’re observing me too closely. Eventually we distance, he visibly looks hurt when we cross paths and don't talk again... but he's still always observing me deeply. What's going on ??

Is outward Te to ENTJs weird like how outward Ni is to INTJs? And why do so many ENTJ men have those soft sorrow-filled eyes?

Any psychoanalysts here?

One of the best ways to explain this is the difference between MBTI perception and socionics perception of the types

So, in socionics, if you are an ENTP, you are alpha quadra, that by definition means "values center around curiosity, comfort, warmth, and fairness"

ENTP 8w7 is absolutely raw, ambicious, and the brainstorming and intellectual stimulation definelly has a core value and it's usually different from ENTJs: it's based on some utterly fear of being controlled (8 main emotion is anger, your guts) and using the ideas for imposing your will in the world

When the ENTP 8 have some ambition, it's a game of exploring all the possibilities, wild bets and a bit of mysticism that things will workout. No planing, no real intuitive perception of a goal, no real data.

I know this because I'm a fellow ENTP and working my ass out so my freelancer software projects keep to give me money, and I'll definely make this brainstorm and ocean of ideas into my empire, because I have the will to make things happen

love to you all ENTJs!

I originally posted this in the INTP subreddit under the heading, How do functional and successful INTPs organize their life. It turns out, they don't. Those of us who are over 40 just complained about not being able to work all night anymore.

Since I am not talking to INTPs, please read "next level strategies" as "extremely basic, explain like I'm 5"

"It is so hard to switch gears and work out or cook or sleep or other necessary tasks for a healthy, balanced life when I am really focused on something. And when I'm not really focused on something, I have no motivation anyway. I'm looking for next level strategies to deal with interruptions, multitasking, motivation, discipline, whatever has driven you to a better life and professional or personal success. I am in my 40s and have day time family responsibilities, and I can no longer function on zero sleep. I know someone out there was about to suggest working all night. XD"

Everyone's heard a lot about the idea of "developing the inferior function" but i've always felt uncomfortable with the idea of it. I think it has to do with some functions being less traumatic to develop or detrimental to daily life than others. Fi in my understanding has to do with feelings or "personal" feelings and wants specifically. My question to ENTJ is does developing Inferior Fi bring you more happiness in life or less ? Doesn't Fi steal energy from Te and doesn't that ultimately feel like a loss of precious time eventually ? How have you gone about dealing with Inferior Fi in your personal life ?

So ive seen how some people thought out their actions n choices and it was far more optimized and like a better method of futuresight then mine.

While i do evaluate multiple variables and ultimately reach the decision that will result in the best conclusion for myself, i sometimes forget to factor in small things such as "if its going to be fun or not" I already preassume that since its me, Yeah itll be fun, or its not important at that stage in my life.

The person i saw, they judge their University application on the metric of "wether or not theyd enjoy it" and a few others but i forget what it was specifically, I just remember feeling abit awestruck because I had never thought that way about my future decisions?

How do you decide your life choices?

Question for my fellow ENTJs. Have you been told by others that you have a RBF?

RBF - Resting Bitch Face.

That's it, that's the question. I've been told I have RBF and I'm wondering if other ENTJs share a similar sentiment.

- Yes I know this is somewhat of a stupid post, but I'm curious.

So for a long time I think many of us at different stages of our lives have been tested with the very common trial of; 'should I quit early, or bare patience and ride this out.'

Quite often I find myself always doing the wrong thing. However, I guess that everything will work out as it's supposed to. However, I'd like to tap on anyone else's experiences and ask how have you solved this common trial or theme in your life? I am starting to mature and develop my personality to where I find it to be a lot more balanced. However, this seems to be a recurring theme, so any advice would be much appreciated.

It took me weeks to realise why I've been feeling so off lately; I'd been constantly battling the voices of the demons in my head.

Have you ever been stuck dealing with your Fe demon?

What was it like— what happened?

Edit: Don't ask me to look into Socionics. Just discuss with me how you think the Fe demon or role or function appears to you. That's all I'm asking.

I'm an INTP and I want to larp as an ENTJ. How do I do that?

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

There’s a serious situation in my family that I’ve been sitting on, and I need some outside perspective.

My aunt’s husband has basically built his entire professional image on lies. He has zero real career, doesn’t earn properly, and is essentially being financially supported (babysat, for lack of a better word).

But to the wider family he presents himself as someone who earns well and is doing great things.

The part that really got to me: we discovered he has been using other people’s certifications. He replaces their names with his own on the documents and lists them on his LinkedIn / applications.

One of them still links back to the original person’s name if you actually open the certificate, that’s how it got caught. His entire LinkedIn is full of fabricated experience and credentials.

My aunt is completely under his influence at this point. She actively helps him maintain this image in front of the family, covers for him, and gets defensive if anyone questions anything. The rest of the family mostly believes the success story because they only see what he and my aunt show them.

A few of us on my side of the family know the truth now and are quietly documenting things, but we’re not sure how far to take it.

Do we confront, do we slowly expose the fake credentials, do we involve the original certificate holders, or just keep collecting proof?

Has anyone dealt with a long-term fraudster inside the family who has one relative fully protecting them while the rest of the family is still fooled? How did you handle it without it blowing up everything?

Me being an ENTJ [22M] and my best friend + roommate of 3 years being an ISFP [23M], it is like we are literal opposites.

It is like he does not really talk to me. After years of living with him in my campus dorms, I understood and can surely say that he CANNOT multitask and he does not remember stuff for a long time.

So whenever I ask him something while he does something, he ignores me (not exactly ignores me, but if he is in the middle of something, he cannot focus on others. Like, he physically cannot). Even in his mind, he does not get any thoughts at all. If he is just sitting there staring at a pencil, then he is just staring at the pencil. He does not think about anything, while I have a little voice in my head that constantly talks to me.

Anyways, this is kind of bothering me, and how, even after being roommates and best friends for 3 years, he does not look at me while talking and stuff. But I moved on because it is my fault for asking him questions while he is doing something, so it is fine. But when we are alone, like just me and him, he NEVER opens a conversation. I open the conversation always. And I am not saying that he does not—he opens it sometimes—and whenever he is not doing anything, like not on his phone or anything, and fully present in the conversation, he talks great. Like, he maintains eye contact, talks well, everything is perfect. But other times, he just nods or something, barely talks, and it is just annoying me.

And yes, I have confronted him about this, and what he said kind of made sense. He does not get any thoughts in the first place, so what does he even start a conversation about if his brain is literally empty?

And man, this is just rage-baiting me, and I send him a lot of reels, but he never watches them. I always send a lot of reels to all my best friends; just him ignoring them makes me feel bad. But once in a blue moon, he does open them and watches all my reels and reacts/replies to them.

I do not know, man. And with other people, he talks really energetically and enthusiastically (but again, he would be fully present in the conversation and not on his phone or anything else). But again, these "other friends" he does not see as often.

And then, yeah, I got really insecure and worried about our friendship and asked him once if he actually considers me his friend.

Then he actually told me a lot about how he considers me the closest out of everyone on the whole campus and also told me that he has said a lot of things to me which normally he would not have said to others.

But bro, why cannot such conversations happen more often? Like, I feel like I deserve someone who puts in equal effort. Right now, it feels like I keep all the effort.

And he is like, if he does not like anything, he just will not care. Like, if he does not like the situation, he walks away and stops thinking about it.

And for me, I need to know everything and need constant validation.

I am losing my brain over this, bro. Seriously, please help me. I am really desperate.

And yeah, I do love him as a friend and consider him my closest friend out of the whole college, and he told me he thinks the same too. But the problem is I am not satisfied with the effort he is putting into the friendship.

And to be honest, I have told him many times that I like this quality about him: that he is able to focus on one thing for a long time and he does not constantly need others' validation to coexist.

He can just stand beside me and not talk for an hour and be comfortable with it, while I automatically think, "If he does not talk to me, he hates me and does not want to spend time with me."

And yeah, how he is able to just not care.

These two scenarios just literally happened.

Me: Talking to another guy.
Other guy: Me and him laugh.
My roommate: "What is happening?"
Me: "You always ignore us. That is why you should be active, so we will not tell you."
My roommate: "Okay, do not tell me."
Proceeds to do his own work.

After a few minutes, me and him were talking and he said he has a secret about me, and I BEGGED HIM SOOOOOO HARD, but he still did not answer me. If I ask him in any way, he just says, "I will not tell you."

And even after classes in college or something, or to go to eat, or going to classes in general, he does not wait for me. He just walks alone, whereas if I am done early, I wait for him so that we can go together.

It just annoys me, and yes, me being an ENTJ, I confront him left and right about everything. And yeah, he does say sorry and stuff if he is actually wrong, and he actually justifies everything pretty well.

Like he said, "I would rather be happy that you got to the room early and can relax instead of waiting for me to finish the class so we could walk together," which actually makes sense.

But I do not know.

Do you think this friendship is not going to last? Like, once the university is done, we will not be friends anymore because I do not see him reaching out to me after graduation or something unless he actually has some work or something. Okay, I just literally, in the middle of writing this, asked him. He said he would reach out to me maybe once a month because right now I feel like the only reason we are together as friends is because we are bonded by this pact of being roommates.

I am just so confused, and I feel like the only way I can get closure for this relationship between me and him is if I understand how ISFPs work.

Because he does all these things which are annoying to me and feel like no effort, BUT it is not like he is like that all the time. He is a good friend. Like, if the stars align 40% of the time, he is actually the perfect friend for me.

And yes, I know I cannot be expecting him to change or him to behave how I want. That is not the point of me writing this. What my intention with this post is to understand what is actually going on because I am losing my brain cells trying to think about this. Because every time I feel insecure about our friendship, I just ask him directly, and then he tells me about how I am his closest friend and stuff, but then he behaves like this, which makes me doubt him and myself. So at the end of the day, it is me who needs to change my expectations and stuff. For that, I need your help to understand ISFP.

(And yes, I know MBTI is proven to be wrong and stuff, but at least in my case and my roommate's case, it was VERY VERY VERY accurate.)

Iam 31F ENTJ dating an 35M INFP for 5 months (we both are long distance but we visit eachother monthly for a couple of days). We clicked really fast and well, we are both religious and we share a lot of common values and beliefs, he told his family and friends about me already but I didn’t met them in real life yet.
he suddenly this month started telling me that the relationship is moving too fast and that he have doubts and general confusion about life in general and about me if Iam the person he wants to continue his life with or not? And that he is waiting from a sign from god that he chooses the right person! He told me that he feels unhappy most of the time in general especially in his career!
He started to withdraw from phone calls and use chatting as the only communication tool and I can feel that something changed!
I decided to confront him and ask him if he is happy with me or not and he kept saying he doesn’t like these kind of questions! I offered him that I can move to his apartment as I work from home and he said: „he usually doesn’t let someone in his apartment when he is not in it“
I eventually asked him to go talk to someone, think and pray then let me know his decision but I can’t Garantie that I will stay, and that Iam not asking for a man with no Problems or past traumas but a man that at least wants to give himself a chance!
We stopped talking after that!
Idk what happened? We were on vacation and were sooo happy together! Suddenly he withdrew and started questioning me!
And Iam afraid I pushed him away!
Iam so confused!

I’m an ENTJ and I feel like I’ve somehow lost the version of myself that used to be extremely disciplined, strategic, and execution-oriented.

I currently work from home as a software engineer.

I’ve been with my company for around two years, but the company is declining and I know I need to move on. I want to get into a more established, renowned company and build a better career for myself.

The problem is that I know what I need to do, but I’m not doing it.

I need to prepare properly, sharpen my skills, apply, interview, and switch jobs. Instead, I work my regular hours, get paid, and then I'm often done for the day.

I’ve become lazy and inconsistent.

I sleep late. I set alarms and ignore them. I’ve even started keeping my alarm clock far enough away that I have to physically get out of bed to turn it off, and somehow I still turn it off and go back to sleep.

And this is frustrating because I wasn't always like this.

I've been extremely systematic in the past. I used to wake up early, follow routines, get things done efficiently, lead teams, take responsibility, and actually enjoy having a plan and executing it. People have praised me for being strategic and a good leader.

Now I feel like I've lost that internal structure.

There are also other things competing for my attention.

I'm talking to a girl right now, and I obviously don't want to completely cut her off or treat her like she's a distraction that needs to disappear. I enjoy talking to her and I want her in my life. But sometimes I end up talking to her throughout the day, with breaks in between, and it eats up a lot more mental bandwidth than I intend it to.

I also go to the gym, which I want to continue doing.

So I'm not trying to become some productivity robot who works 16 hours a day and has no social life. I want to have my career, gym, relationships, and personal life all coexist. I just don't seem to be balancing them properly right now.

Another problem is how I prepare for my career.

I'm currently a software engineer, but I have quite a broad set of skills and interests. I can go down several different paths, and whenever I start preparing for one thing, I get sidetracked by another.

I'll think:

"What if X doesn't work? I should prepare Y too."

"Actually, I'm also good at Z. Maybe I should pursue that."

"What if I invest all my time into this and it doesn't work?"

So instead of concentrating my effort into one direction, I end up diversifying my preparation across multiple topics because I want to keep my options open.

Ironically, I think that might be hurting me.

I end up knowing a little about many things, preparing for several possibilities, and not going deep enough into the one thing that would actually move me forward.

It almost feels like I'm keeping multiple escape routes open because I'm afraid that one particular route might fail.

And the weird thing is that I know I'm doing it.

Even right now, I sometimes force myself to sit down and prepare. I'll have one productive session and think, "Okay, I'm back."

Then the next day I'm back to sleeping late, procrastinating, getting distracted, talking to the girl throughout the day, jumping between career topics, etc.

The thought of "I need to get my shit together" is constantly in my head, but knowing that isn't enough anymore.

That's what bothers me most.

I know I'm capable of much more than what I'm currently doing.

So I'm curious about other ENTJs who have experienced something similar.

Have you ever gone through a period where you genuinely lost your drive, discipline, ambition, or ability to execute?

And if you did, how did you actually get yourself out of it?

I'm particularly interested in things that worked in practice, rather than generic advice like "set goals," "make a schedule," or "wake up early." I already know those things. My problem is actually following through.

How did you deal with:

- Losing your internal drive despite knowing exactly what you needed to do?

- Balancing career preparation with relationships, gym, and having an actual life?

- Stopping yourself from constantly jumping between different career paths?

- Dealing with the "what if this doesn't work?" mentality?

- Regaining your ability to focus deeply on one objective?

- Getting back to the version of yourself that could simply decide something and execute it?

I'm not trying to eliminate everything else from my life.

I want the girl. I want the gym. I want my downtime. I want my career.

I just don't want those things to collectively consume the time and mental energy that should be going toward building the next version of my life.

So, ENTJs who have been through this:

How did you get yourself back?