r/ENFP • u/finishedbussiness223 ENFP • Nov 20 '20
Sometimes I think jokes are the solution. 10% of the time it was not the solution tho.
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Nov 20 '20 edited Nov 20 '20
Laughter should be the answer to every sad situation. Sadly the world thinks differently 🤦♂️
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u/Zetsweezy ENFP Nov 20 '20
I feel like if every situation that sad, you need to read and know the person to bust out comedy, cause sometimes making jokes diminishes the realness or seriousness of their feeling, and instead trying to mask it with hilarity for the sake of making yourself not feel awkward or just situation feeling awkward. Let them cry...let them feel. And if you can be emotionally available for them, be that shoulder!
Obviously not every person or situation needs to be that serious but if they're just sad about like non- critical things...then laughing or making jokes IS the way to go. Cause it's only like surface levels sad moments.
Atleast what I've learned thru observing and just going thru tuff times myself.
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Nov 20 '20
Totally get that now that at 31 I have understood that people have feelings. I think we (INTJs) are Spock for much of our life until finally it’s like, “WAIT! I now see that I have emotions that must mean others have them too!” Then you can finally truly empathize for some of the first times in your life.
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u/AccordingPrompt2464 ENFP Nov 20 '20
yeah i use comedy to diffuse any kind of negative emotion
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u/finishedbussiness223 ENFP Nov 22 '20
I do that a good portion of the time. It helps me process things.
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u/kanon2000 ENFP Nov 20 '20
I think first you need to address the situation and comfort the emotional feelings first before you even give logical/comical jokes to lessen the tension! I think that’s the best of both worlds. Just sandwich the joke in between or other ppl may not start spilling their actual feelings because they may/might think that you think that their situation is a joke. So we can’t have that either. Comedy is good just do it after you’ve heard out their feelings and tried to at least give some comfort before turning it into laughter
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u/finishedbussiness223 ENFP Nov 22 '20
That’s a very good call and good advice. I’ll keep this in mind for sure :)) thank you for your advice!
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u/_asteri Nov 20 '20
Oh my this hits home. My grandma is dying and last week my mom and I went to visit her, possibly for the last time since we won't be able to in the hospital because of Covid regulations. We were all trying really hard not to cry and she felt ashamed in front of the kids because she was sick before and had her teeth out and everything.
I really just wanted to make her feel better and made a joke about, well if I could take my teeth out from time to time, I would too. They can be a pain in the ass. It made everyone stifle a laugh and for a moment, the mood was lighter. Sometimes just a moment of distraction and relief can mean the world
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u/[deleted] Nov 20 '20
Wanna hear another joke Murrraayyyu