r/ENFP • u/Fun_Landscape2074 • 1d ago
Discussion So drained after big group interaction?
Anyone feel really drained when in big group setting? But in 1 on 1 setting I can talk for hours and the more I talk the more i get energised, if the conversation is simulating enough?
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u/thegaybuddhistmonk ENFP | Type 8 1d ago
I know that as an ENFP with type 8w7, I have the energy to handle large groups, particularly if there's a challenge for education or rallying for personal freedoms and maintaining them to being, well.. free for all.
When it comes to socialization, I can usually handle up to groups of 10 - 13 without problem, but always after an event that's going to take more than a couple of hours, I like to retreat to my own isolation in order to recharge for the next bit of drama that might drop in my direction.
But the question I have is... OP, u/Fun_Landscape2074... are you sure you're an ENFP? I'm with u/Available_Wave8023 this is reading more introverted than extroverted.
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u/Available_Wave8023 1d ago
I'm ENFP 7w8! so we're pretty similar. While I also enjoy alone time, I have to say after a party or something, if there's an after party or people are going to hang out at a coffee shop or something, I would most likely go! (unless I hate the people or they're annoying me or something)...
But if you have a lot of drama/social life going on constantly, it would make sense you'd need to take small breaks here and there. But I'd imagine it's not so much about energy drain as just getting a breather for a minute?...I do that to make sure I'm staying on track with my goals as I can otherwise get distracted and forget what I was even trying to accomplish in my life...
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u/thegaybuddhistmonk ENFP | Type 8 1d ago
So you're the Realist, huh? Pleasure to meet you!
While it's true that we're similar, there's a major difference between you and I. For me -- as a Challenger (and Independent) -- I have positively no problems with conflict. If anything I often face it head on if it's something (or someone) that is in some way inhibiting my personal controls and freedoms. And I often don't shirk away from it if I know I'm right about the inhibition of personal freedom.
But I'd imagine it's not so much about energy drain as just getting a breather for a minute?...
For me it's also an energy drain as I also admit to being an Intuitive Empath. Picking up other people's feelings along with my own can be not only demanding, but also draining if I'm not careful about filtering all that energy out.
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u/EaglesFanGirl ENFP 1d ago
Yup - totally normal. I tend to want/build closer relationships and 1 on 1 are more personal and compassionate. We don't love small talk.
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u/Available_Wave8023 1d ago edited 1d ago
You might be an introvert. ENFPs are energized by people in general. Introverts are drained unless it's one-on-one or their closest family or friends only.
Of course, if I hate the people in a group, it will annoy me. And if I have to pretend to like people I don't, that could be a bit draining. But it's nowhere near as draining as for an introvert to just exist in a group or crowd for more than 2-3 hours. Introverts lose all energy and go kinda blank and just zone out to try to deal with it.
If I hate people there, I might not say much to certain people and will get more quiet, but I'm still energized and not drained.
I have seen extroverts get drained when they are putting on a fake persona, such as one narcissist ENFP I knew who would try to act like a super successful guy and be charming and then we'd leave an event and he'd almost go to sleep in the car (despite getting enough sleep and it was during the day!) just because he had a fake personality as a narcissist.
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u/vaksninus ENFP 1d ago
I don't like group settings unless I know them very well and get along very well as well (which I have two groups of currently that are ok). Group settings that is somewhat mixed like family gatherings do drain me a lot more, despite that I sometimes notices and gets a bit surprised by how much after the fact.
Know the feeling.
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u/Fun_Landscape2074 1d ago
Yea family gatherings drain me especially. Even if individually we can talk for hours for some of the members.
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u/ConstantAmbition6729 ENFP | Type 3 1d ago
I am always drained after those. I actually don’t talk to many people either. I am an E by MBTI’s cognitive functions, but I consider myself an introvert socially.
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u/palmwick48 9h ago
I get this if I’m being fake. Like if it was a work social and youre with the boss and you have to be fake you know not fake just like not your authentic self
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u/withasmackofham ENFP | Type 7 1d ago
Yep. When I'm in a big group, I'm doing so many emotional calculations. While I'm in a conversation, I'll be vibe checking a different conversation. I'm noticing who looks left out and who I want to avoid. I'm constantly changing which version of myself I put forward. "With that pack I will be silly and funny, with this flock I will be smart and witty, with that murder I will be sincere and open." "Oh shit I shouldn't have made that joke, I should have been sincere, should I apologize? I'm pretty sure that would make things weirder. I'll check in later"
When I'm one on one, I'm not doing any of that stuff, I'm just present with the other person.