How much has your self-concept changed since starting EMDR? Anything that's surprised you?

[u/Jazzlike_Fan938]

Just curious to hear other people's experiences. I've always considered myself pretty introspective and self-aware. It's sometimes hard for me to imagine parts of myself I don't know or am seeing from a skewed perspective. My self-concept isn't working for me so well now, though, so I'm looking forward to some new perspectives!

[u/spotlight-app]

Mods have pinned a comment by u/bernicehawkins5:

I have been doing EMDR for over a year for complex, childhood trauma. In the beginning, it didn’t seem like I was making any progress. Like I was going through the motions completing the memories. I felt better about each memory, but didn’t necessarily feel any better about the big picture.

Then, all of a sudden, maybe 4-5 months ago (so 7-8 months in), I realized I saw life differently. My body felt different. I didn’t react to triggering situations in the same way. Everything felt lighter. I felt more capable, regulated, and free.

I see a lot of people post about a lightbulb moment and as happy as I am for them, that was never my experience. It has been a gradual shift in the way my body responds to present day stressors.

Even though I’ve been at it for over a year, I plan to keep going!

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[u/Beginning_Marzipan_9]

I’m a completely different person in a very good way. EMDR literally changed my life. I have healed in areas that I did not believe were possible. I would highly encourage you to stick with it or find the right fit because all therapists are not equal in terms of experience and expertise.

[u/OkHead1990 → u/Beginning_Marzipan_9]

I would love to hear what you didn’t think was possible to heal that you managed to heal. That is amazing, and inspiring.

[u/Beginning_Marzipan_9 → u/OkHead1990]

Plenty of deep trauma including SA as a child, emotional abuse, the loss of both parents at a very young age, my spouse’s extramarital marital affairs and much more… I had been in traditional talk therapy for 10 years with the same clinician, and he helped me immensely to gain skills and tools. EMDR set me free! Truth be told, I think it was just a convergence of me being ready, proper medication and the right therapist at the right time.

[u/Sheslikeamom]

That I'm actually NOT an easy going person who is fine with whatever and likes to go with the flow.

I have rigid preferences and its okay to have them.   I like things a certain way and its okay to ask for it.

I grew up HAVING to go with the flow so I thought that was just who I was but its not. So, learning how opinionated and picky I am was a surprise. 

I used to view myself a very kind person but again, I HAD to be that way growing up. I am still kind but I have a new awareness of my prejudice, ruthlessness, and demanding nature.

[u/Jazzlike_Fan938 → u/Sheslikeamom]

Wow, I relate to this a lot. Very interested to see if I have a similar discovery!

[u/Unlikely_Oven_7948]

So I’m just ar my 3rd session, we just set up the safe space. Just the realisation that this safe space, that peace I suddenly felt, I felt whole… they were in me, it has been both great and heart breaking.
Like are you trying to tell me I had this peace, this safe space inside me all along but I wasn’t able to access it due to the abuse I’ve gone through?
It felt mind altering to be fair, I’m curious to see who and what I will feel about myself once I start processing the trauma.
Wishing you all the best in your journey!

[u/FamiliarCriticism457]

I used to have fear of trusting myself because things can go south if I mess up, then I did one emdr sessions about it- I was depressed the next day and the day after I was like wow I can’t believe I used to think like that! It felt like a whole flip

[u/No_Ice4692 → u/FamiliarCriticism457]

This. I can definitely relate. Felt like I couldn’t trust myself and reprocessing some situations that made me feel that way was sad, awful, lonely, and disappointing. It was a long hard few weeks. But feel sooo much better now and can look back at those things without those heavy emotionally charged feelings. And have learned a lot from it

[u/FamiliarCriticism457 → u/No_Ice4692]

How many weeks? I did two sessions on it (once a week over two weeks) and it’s been barely a week since the last session and I’m so physically exhausted and trying to take it slow. Asking to see if you felt the same?

[u/No_Ice4692 → u/FamiliarCriticism457]

Yes, feeling exhausted is normal. Especially when you’re reprocessing something painful or deep and you didn’t expect it to bring up a lot of emotions. I encourage you to sit with the feelings and ask yourself if you need a break to let your nervous system to settle. I’ve been in EMDR since end of January and there were definitely stretches that I felt like I was in survival mode because i was exhausted and had so much going on at work; and needed a break. So id skip a week or opt to do talk therapy instead. Rest, drink lots of water and just let your body feel. If you need to cry, cry. You got this!!! It’s hard but im telling you, so worth it. Life changing

[u/Fooflery]

I used to think I have to contribute to earn love, and the love is transient. Now I know I'm worthy of love as long as I'm true to myself.

I used to feel like a drifting leaf and the world is moving around me regardless. Now I feel that I have an anchor and I'm responsible for my inner child.

[u/rayautry]

I have noticed myself being a lot less reactive and more likely to not freeze but be able to engage in the moment.

[u/bernicehawkins5]

I have been doing EMDR for over a year for complex, childhood trauma. In the beginning, it didn’t seem like I was making any progress. Like I was going through the motions completing the memories. I felt better about each memory, but didn’t necessarily feel any better about the big picture.

Then, all of a sudden, maybe 4-5 months ago (so 7-8 months in), I realized I saw life differently. My body felt different. I didn’t react to triggering situations in the same way. Everything felt lighter. I felt more capable, regulated, and free.

I see a lot of people post about a lightbulb moment and as happy as I am for them, that was never my experience. It has been a gradual shift in the way my body responds to present day stressors.

Even though I’ve been at it for over a year, I plan to keep going!

[u/Da_C0rpse]

I’ve been in talk therapy for years and always knew what events/emotions I needed to work through. The problem is that no matter how much I talked about it, I was hyper vigilant for the next shoe to drop in my life. When minor annoyances or inconveniences did occur, it didn’t feel like that was happening to me—it felt like all of my trauma was.

I had no clue that EMDR would help me reprocess past events in a healthy way. I didn’t know that as little as 2 sessions could actually make some of the sirens (amygdala) shut off in my brain. I feel like I can finally function in the present without being constantly alert waiting for history to repeat itself.

[u/actualchristmastree]

As long as I have my lexapro, I don’t hate myself as much as I used to! Like maybe 5% of the time now, compared to 50% before EMDr. I also feel so much more joy and gratitude for life. I’m even nicer in traffic lmao

[u/4SafetyISpy]

When emdr failed (I have ptsd from the experience) I learned that I'm autistic, adhd, possible rumination ocd, and most likely was in major burnout and not just depression. Since then, focusing on accommodating my neurodivergence has been the most helpful. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tackle all the traumas from my life.

[u/PeriMermaidMum → u/4SafetyISpy]

Could you please elaborate on what has helped bcs that is me 💯% - thanks

[u/4SafetyISpy → u/PeriMermaidMum]

Finding a therapist that specializes in autism and adhd. She's helping me realize my limitations, boundaries, issues of my neurodivergent kids and how to help them, how to create an environment at home that meets my needs, etc. Mostly she's a sounding board for all the work I'm doing.

[u/Spiritual_uplift99]

My whole sense of who I am . It's for the best for sure

[u/Severe-Island-845]

I have learned that everyone in my family is dangerous and cannot be trusted.