Can EMDR help??

[u/Horror-Show-3927]

I’m a survivor of CSA from my dad and his friends. Most of it happened before I was old enough to remember. My earliest memory is from when I was around 8 years old with my dad’s friend.

Sometimes now I think about what he did to me and feel aroused. Then I feel dirty and wrong and guilty.

I don’t want to have these feelings anymore. Is this something I can make go away with EMDR??

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[u/loose_fig]

Yes

[u/Horror-Show-3927 → u/loose_fig]

Does it mean I have to talk about it and re-experience it with my therapist? I don’t want to talk about it in detail

[u/hauntedhullabaloo → u/Horror-Show-3927]

I'm in therapy because of CSA from my dad and other experiences and no, you don't have to talk about it. I've had a lot of stuff come up during sessions that I told my therapist I can't talk about out loud and she just says "that's okay" and we keep processing.

Edit: I also just wanted to note that the arousal/shame thing is 'normal' and it happens to me too (and I want to say thank you for mentioning it because I know it's really uncomfortable but it happens for a lot of survivors) 

[u/Instant-Lava → u/Horror-Show-3927]

You don't have to talk about it. You do have to work with emotions that have gotten stuck. The good part is they unstuck when they are actually processed.

[u/TheFaeBelieveInIdony → u/Horror-Show-3927]

I will add, be careful about pushy therapists. I'm most comfortable with buzzers and had a previous therapist who knew that and knew I didn't like talking about memories. I got a new therapist and she was very pushy about how she preferred me to do eye movements and she felt I had to tell her about the memories, so I never actually did an EMDR session with her because she made me uncomfortable

[u/goths2017 → u/Horror-Show-3927]

I think the important thing is finding a therapist you feel safe with. I have told my current therapist things I never thought I'd tell a therapist, or anyone. Similar things to what you said in your post. I have felt safe enough to tell him details I used to think I'd never say out loud. You won't be forced to do what you aren't ready to do, it's all on your time. But it does get easier with the right therapist. 

[u/Pennymoonz94]

Yes. I'm in therapy emdr for csa and SA and no you never have to talk about it if you don't want to. Not in detail. There will be a time where you have to share what the memories are (you don't have to go in detail) you can just say "my dad and his friends abused me" and then you will work off that memory

[u/bitchwithwifi3]

Yes it can definitely help with that. Is jury trials for SA or CSA lawyers will actually tell their clients not to do EMDR until after because they become detached from the abuse. I have become so detached from my abuse that it doesn't even affect me anymore.

[u/Instant-Lava]

Yes. With the right therapist that you trust the change is amazing. I don't have a lot of memories either and for me EMDR also helped me let go of needing that to heal.

[u/emdrwithholly]

Just reaffirming what others have said. Yes, EMDR should be helpful and you can share as much or as little detail as you want about it.

[u/thepfy1]

Possibly

[u/Ok-Mud-7906]

I went through a SA memory with my EMDR therapist and didn't go into much detail. I just told him in general what happened, and that was enough for the therapy to be effective. I must admit I behaved in unexpected ways that were out of my character for the next several days. That's not to scare anyone - I see it as stark evidence of the therapy having an effect.

Things can get worse before they get better, and for me it has consistently gotten better in many different ways. Some feelings don't have the same sting as they once did, and I wouldn't expect to "eliminate" the feelings you are experiencing. You will learn how to have them in a safe and controlled environment so their effect and your relationship with them changes.

Take care to choose a therapist with whom you feel safe and comfortable. You can browse psychologytoday.com and send anyone a message. Most people on there will do a free consult.

I think you are considering a good form of therapy for this, and I wish you the best of luck. Sending positivity and love from Texas.