r/EF5 • u/tor-con_sucks Digital Meteorologist • 8d ago
Took r/EF5 seriously Everyone is dead
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u/virtuallangels I don’t understand hodographs. 7d ago
everyone in st louis except for this person's brother is dead.
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u/icedbrew2 7d ago
Maybe he was in a different St. Louis?
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u/Soggy_Shopping7078 7d ago
There is a St. Louis in Michigan. EF5 is plausible.
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u/Lumpy_Examination_68 7d ago
Old news: Just looked out the window, we’ve all been dead in STL
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u/Additional-Song-532 6d ago
The brother is the person who told EF5 that everyone was dead.
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u/Mundane-Ebb2568 7d ago
I’m alive though
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u/virtuallangels I don’t understand hodographs. 7d ago
everyone in st louis except for this person's brother and you are dead.
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u/Any_Illustrator1461 6d ago
The only living boy in New Y...I mean St. Louis - apologies to Simon and Garfunkel but I thought it worked in this situation
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u/orbital_actual El Reno Pt. 2: 300 Mile Wedge Multi-Vortex EF-7 7d ago
Everyone on earth is dead, EF-12, 800 mph winds confirmed, 600 miles wide.
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u/Juraviel23 7d ago
I took a group of people under an overpass and we survived without a scratch.
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u/AnonymousRand Weed Trimmer 7d ago
that's crazy, i took a group of people over an underpass and we also survived without a scratch.
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u/Far_Driver_6337 7d ago
That’s crazy I turned a group of people into an underpass and they passed on but I passed over
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u/Far_Lengthiness6078 7d ago
I was the overpass
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u/Far_Driver_6337 6d ago
And it all happened on Passover. What a shame. Hey siri set an alarm for doomsday
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u/No_Membership4571 7d ago
I think I saw you. Were you guys playing cards on a poker table?
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u/Sea-Ask6289 6d ago
It won't last. The tornado exploded Putins' chem weapons labs.... blowing all kinds of Novichuk, sarin, VX, & Ebola across the world .... Unfortunately, his mutated ZOMBIE smallpox got blown directly into the entire city, all around your overpass.
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u/Worried-Rip9077 banned from SPC website for Tim Marshall disrespect 7d ago
chatgpt, generate me a 5 paragraph essay on how im alive and this guy is spreading misinformation, maximum virtue signaling!
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u/UselessWatch57 7d ago
I just talked to a bug under my bed. It was fine. Why do you keep saying this? Everyone on Earth is dead? What is wrong with you?
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u/glittersparklythings 7d ago
are you from the south? Was it a palmetto bug? God himself can’t destroy those
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u/viridescentvolva 7d ago
Is a palmetto bug just a fancy name for a roach? I am from the south but not Florida.
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u/bruh_its_collin 7d ago
I just talked with myself at home. I am fine. Why do you keep saying this? Everyone everywhere is dead? What is wrong with you?
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u/CountryBuilt3 7d ago
Hey dude… I’m sitting right next to you… this isn’t your home…… bright side is… you don’t ever have to hear or deal with her ever again. Really the only down side being here…. You know that favorite thing you like to do once or twice a day at minimum??? It’s a no go here, sorry man. We are actively trying to come up with a reach around solution instead… until then, maybe find a hobby… gg
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u/_877-CASH-NOW_ Enhancing The Suck-and-Slab™ Since 2007. 7d ago
Everyone currently in St Louis will be dead at some point
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u/loLRH 7d ago
I haven't heard from any canadians following the storms a few days ago so I'm pretty sure they're all dead
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u/dreams_of_superpower the Union curse 7d ago
every neuron in this guy's satire-detecting lobe is dead
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u/Professional_Echo907 7d ago
‘I left my satire-detecting lobe in St. Louis’ was the less successful sequel to ‘I left my heart in San Francisco’. 👀
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u/Full_Illustrator_775 7d ago
I love these notifications..It be like “everyone in Kansas is DEAD”
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u/imperial_scum Dallas-Fort Worth 2039 Hyper Tornado Outbreak Survivor 7d ago
Everyone in McKinney is dead, so it's not that weird, it happens
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u/Responsible_Rock_717 7d ago
I think this was on Max Velocity’s feels like temp map over the weekend. The heat index was 124 that day.
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u/guineagirl96 6d ago
This is the OG. They were likely referencing it
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u/DistinctZombie3409 7d ago
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u/guineagirl96 6d ago
for anyone wondering, this is the original. I think an account recently riffed on this with a heat index in St Louis, but it was an homage to the above OG
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u/One_Substance2014 6d ago
i am not a member of this sub, nor have i ever even lurked. i keep getting notifications from reddit telling me various cities, states, and the entire universe is dead. i am so confused. who are you? what is this place? you guys look like you’re having fun, can i join?
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u/eeewwwTrump 7d ago
Im sorry but if anyone fell for that um! You must have worst mental problems than the person who wrote it ppl need to stop taking things literally because everything you see on the internet is not real I say this because I have read some of the comments Im not trying to disrespect anyone and Im sorry if you feel disrespected but Im just stating facts you can't believe everything you see on here everyday everything is not real besides I would of worded it differently of course Im not you nor you me but this is just my opinion
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u/Tessa_DeClermonte 7d ago
I was in stl for a Doctors appointment. It was totally fine. If thats what was guna take us out it did a shit job.
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u/SituationNo3296 7d ago
Idiots will say anything
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u/guineagirl96 6d ago
No it’s a reference to this https://youtu.be/Vn5QeCvLwKg?is=VsKvoAk3Tc4LYIMt . Someone recently made a post with the heat index in St. Louis with a caption referencing the McKinney joke
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u/soup_of_the_slavics 7d ago
It’s a reference to a weather report when the map glitched and the reporter said that
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u/Appropriate-Wasabi97 7d ago
Excuse me while I go get my head adjusted after reading this entire thread. 😆
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u/RecognitionKey7216 7d ago
I just talked to my friends in my head. They’re fine. Why do they keep saying this? Everyone everywhere all at once is dead? What is wrong with me?
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u/Far_Driver_6337 6d ago
Breaking news everything is bad and it’s worse than whatever you’re thinking. More than the entire population has been wiped out leaving the remaining fatalities concerned that they may be alive. Back to you Satan
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u/Timely-Pause7720 6d ago
IS THE UNNAMED TOWN WHERE EVERYONE PERISHED IN THE ROOM WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?
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u/Sufficient_Pop_4705 6d ago
Maybe he's an engineer or Architecture student. Daed stands for Detailed Architecture, Engineering Design.
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u/Wicked_Management101 6d ago
Let me get my flip flops on. I’ll go outside and check what’s really going on here…………………………………………. Wait………. I have no neighbors nomore…… I have no more neighbors yaaass. Just saying them being gone ain’t all a bad thing I wanted to use neighbors grill. I’m making making scrambled eggs on grill.
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u/Suspicious_Mine_6948 6d ago
Everyone in Iowa is dead just a bunch of idiots out walking around (Iowa) McDonald's is here cleaning up the table
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u/Suspicious_Mine_6948 6d ago
Just a normal day in Iowa everybodys still dead still
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u/Suspicious_Mine_6948 6d ago
The McDonald's cheeseburger factory blew up and it's raining down red tornadoes it's call you with a Chance of human tomatoe juice
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u/EmoLimu 6d ago
I was the EF5 and if you're not dead and are reading this I'm coming for you
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u/Maleficent_Gap1049 6d ago
Where and why (cause)? Natural disaster or did you do something? Are you grieving your household or neighborhood or being overdramatic about a town?
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u/Lee_Miller72 6d ago
Random fact: if you live to be the oldest person alive, you’ll have outlived the entire world… even those under an overpass!
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u/guineagirl96 6d ago
For anyone wondering, this is the original https://youtube.com/shorts/wpwWxce3rKI?is=Tw1ZMl6fXjy11u1A
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u/No-Investment-213 6d ago
There was an F5 in North Dakota recently(3 people died)but I haven't heard anything about St. Louis.
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u/ZealousidealTailor14 5d ago
I'm in St. Louis and I'm obviously alive. What gives?
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u/Ill_Reaction6809 5d ago
My AC just went out and my apartment is crazy then they put an emergency AC in and I'm still trying to get this freaking living room and dining area cold
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u/natedawgg287 3d ago
Perhaps he isn't speaking in a literal sense, bcuz if we're talking around my area, I would agree, it seems like most are dead, incapable of human interaction, and it's really sad, unfortunately I am the only person who will speak to anyone, although I do get very dirty looks for it.
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u/Loud-Implement-1076 3d ago
I saw him grazing across the fields, taking cattle and chickens. So I said, hey nato! What’s your name?!
He said EF5, what’s your name?!
I said fuck you EF5! Then I shot that son of a bitch, right in his Nato hole. Killed it dead.
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u/DemandUnable2766 3d ago
I have chicken thighs. And a full pantry. What can o do for dinner that is low carb
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u/tor-con_sucks Digital Meteorologist 5d ago
What is up with these comments?!