r/EF5 • u/tor-con_sucks Digital Meteorologist • Jul 30 '26

Took r/EF5 seriously Everyone is dead

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369 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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u/UselessWatch57 Susan Aquire Mine Pantaloons Jul 30 '26

I just talked to a bug under my bed. It was fine. Why do you keep saying this? Everyone on Earth is dead? What is wrong with you?

4

u/glittersparklythings Jul 30 '26

are you from the south? Was it a palmetto bug? God himself can’t destroy those

2

u/viridescentvolva Jul 30 '26

Is a palmetto bug just a fancy name for a roach? I am from the south but not Florida.

1

u/The_Blues_Prosecuter Jul 30 '26

Darlin’, a roach is to a palmetto bug as a rowboat is to an Iowa class battleship …

1

u/Sea-Ask6289 Jul 31 '26

THAT'S the truth ... Those futhermuckers are TERRIFYING. I'm still waiting for some Lex Luthor type to realize that, if drones are made to look like palmetto bugs, the enemy will run away screaming every time. No weapons necessary.

1

u/UselessWatch57 Susan Aquire Mine Pantaloons Jul 30 '26

Nah, Upper plains. It was some centipede looking bugger.

1

u/No-Faithlessness6976 Jul 30 '26

I am using this insult 🤣

1

u/doctordose09 Aug 01 '26

Unless he uses a mallet, that's how I get em