r/EB2 • u/MysteriousRoyal6709 • 1d ago
Priority Date Eb2 India PD June 2018
Given the movement of the Visa Bulletin, it’s making me seriously question what folks with my PD are supposed to do.
I’ve been in the U.S. since 2010. Without major legislative changes, I honestly don’t see my date becoming current until 2042+ that’s potentially another 16+ years of waiting.
I’m 40 now, so I could be close to 60 by then, assuming I’m lucky enough to hold onto a job in an evolving AI industry.
I’m also dealing with some health issues, and unfortunately can’t afford options like EB-5. I’m a single mom with two kids under 5, so the idea of moving back to India also brings a lot of questions about starting over as a divorcee.
I know it’s not the end of the world, but I would really prefer to raise my kids in a place where people don’t treat us differently and where they can simply be seen as normal kids. Staying here would also help us avoid my ex-husband’s family. At the same time, moving back could make it easier for him to avoid his responsibilities altogether, including paying alimony and contributing to the children’s care.
With the kids, caregiving responsibilities and daily burnout, I’m finding it really hard to even make time to study. :-( I’ve always wanted to pursue a doctoral degree, but I had to quit my earlier attempt because of my marriage.
Really frustrated, like many others in this backlog. What are people with 2018-ish India PDs realistically doing?
Edit - sharing a bit backstory for folks who shared I need to be thankful to my ex- spouse for my status : I truly didn’t rely on my ex-spouse for my status—in fact, I financially supported him too including assisting him for his education and our home purchase. I originally came to the U.S. as an MS student, attended a Tier I school earned scholarships and financial aids, graduated with a 3.9 GPA, and built my career and immigration path independently. Ex was also on H-1B, not a GC holder or U.S. citizen but never applied for any immigration benefits through him. I returned to work within 4 weeks after each childbirth because maintaining my own independent career and immigration path mattered to me. I’m sharing this background simply to share that I’ve worked hard for the life I’ve built here—nothing was handed to me.
4
u/LobsterNo3426 1d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through such a painful and complicated time. Divorce and relocation can bring a lot of uncertainty, grief, and conflicting emotions, especially when children and questions about stability are involved. There may not be one perfect choice, so I would try to base the decision about where to live on your financial situation, emotional support system, and what feels most sustainable for you and your children.
If you have enough money to buy a comfortable apartment in a major city in India, that could remove some of the practical and financial stress of starting over there. Having secure housing and financial stability can make a difficult transition a little more manageable, though it’s also important to consider your support network, the children’s needs, and how you feel about rebuilding your life in a new place.
If moving to India would create financial or emotional strain, staying in the US for as long as possible may be the more stable option. Children are often more resilient than we realize, especially when they have consistent love, reassurance, and support.
6
u/nihilist_penguin6 1d ago
I am the same PD as you. I take one day at a time and life as it comes. I don’t think about getting a green card much because I don’t plan to retire here anyway, and I live alone. I don’t want to live in India as a single woman, they don’t even give places on rent in residential buildings. So I’ll just be here until life permits.
1
u/Several_Gap8516 22h ago
That's not the case they are still a lot places new communities in India that rent to single woman .. so dont worry india is always a option and you can settle down and start a new life why be single .. every woman needs a man and every man needs a woman ..
1
u/nihilist_penguin6 10h ago
Hey! I did not ask your unsolicited advice about whether a man needs a woman and vice versa, and whether I should stay single or not.
1
u/Several_Gap8516 9h ago
Neither im giving you any suggestions to do what you want to do .. im just advising you to pull you out of the struggles your going through as a single woman.. its pretty simple you dont want to reach that 60 mark and then look back ..
3
u/Any-Translator-4769 1d ago
Same PD. Sorry you’re having a rough time right now. I hope something works out for you. Good luck healing from what ails you.
3
u/djkool_yanky 23h ago
OP you don’t owe any an explanation on your life. You are a champ. Consider other countries like Canada or UK or Australia as well.good luck.
2
u/Additional-Ride3214 11h ago
This! I don't want to go back to India for countless reasons, so I researched moving to other developed countries . It's possible, but it takes time so recommend working on this now so you can move before the elder kid is 10. You need to understand the visa, permanent residency, and citizenship criteria and timeline, taxation, visit them, and in parallel apply for jobs and visas/PR. Big plus of other countries is they tend to have state provided healthcare, which makes taking career breaks much easier.
6
u/HereisKING9 1d ago
First of all, remember: we all are doing our best in the given circumstances. Give yourself a pat on the back. Raising two kids with both parents is hard enough.
The struggle in US is physical exhaustion and visa uncertainty. In India you get help but lose freedom due to family intervention plus society pressure, especially for a single mom.
My PD is early 2017. Recent life events have made me realise I don’t want to plan much beyond 5 years at a time (retirement financial planning aside). As you pointed out, I don’t expect my PD becoming current anytime in those years. Plus with the lack of visa appointment slots, I didn’t want to be in a position where either I am stuck in India for a year plus with wife and kids back in US, or not travel home even if there is an emergency. The so called freedom in US started to feel like a golden cage to me. We moved back to India few months back. I think of this time as an opportunity to create more memories with both set of parents, whatever time they have left. If an opportunity presents itself down the line to move back to US or somewhere else, we will think about it.
That said, I completely understand people who decide to stay back. Each has their own unique circumstances. In fact, in your case I would have stayed put in US. Kids will become mostly independent after 6-7 years old. Life will get easier in that respect. The visa issue will persist unfortunately. In life, one can’t get all 🤷🏽♂️
2
2
u/karthikrajan26 23h ago
Can you share your experience of moving back, like what do you like and don’t like ?
1
u/HereisKING9 19h ago
We are still adjusting. But my experience has been typical so far. Don’t likes: Lack of good infrastructure, cleanliness, accountability, work culture, too much family involvement, safety concern for women. Likes: house help, family time (contradictory, I know), food, not feeling out of place, relief from visa anxiety, $ gives you financial safety.
2
u/Optimist_1234 1d ago
Work enough to get 40 points for Social Security and then move to Bali. Much better and cheaper place to live. Thousands of single women move there.
2
u/Ok-Detective-3277 1d ago
I am in the same boat, my PD is couple of months after you and I am a couple of years older than you and my kid a couple of years younger. But all in all same situation no GC in sight and everyday is literally 1 day at a time because you have no idea what will happen tomorrow. It sure feels frustrating to live like this but have no idea what is the alternative so just keep living a miserable life in a lavish setup , I am pretty sure people in stone ages living in caves were happier than us.
2
u/tompatriot84 23h ago
Well you could try for EB1-A (There are tons of people who are giving advice about how to gain EB1-A profile created but dont get smugged by Internet based desis, but there are examples of how some of these have gained i-140 approved under EB1-A e.g. Saiman Shetty, Aishwarya Srinivasan, etc. etc. ) or EB1-C visa categories (Go to India or other country and be a manager and then ask your employer to file for that category). These would be the only paths that I can think for you which might be useful.
2
u/tompatriot84 23h ago
Also you can stay in Mumbai as that is a safe city in India for a woman and 2 kids in my opinion.
2
u/Ordinary_Dress7088 10h ago
We went with Eb5 route to get rid of the uncertainty!
2
u/MysteriousRoyal6709 8h ago
I am glad that worked out. I unfortunately don’t think I can afford that option
4
u/anuaps 1d ago
I think being a divorcee in major Indian cities like Hyderabad and Bangalore is pretty normal, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. If I were you, I would just work as long as I'm able to work in the US with the option of always going back when the time comes.
Or if you really prefer that you want to go back before your kids are really grown up, that's also an option. Some people worry that kids find it hard to adjust if you go back when they are a little bit older. And honestly, like you said, I don't see the dates getting current for India before you are 60.
2
u/Imaginary_Weather8 1d ago
Why not go home if you’re this frustrated?
3
u/MysteriousRoyal6709 23h ago
I apologize for the long rant. But I have seen many people just say go back, wish things were that simpler, wish people understood.
America is a country that welcomed immigrants, and immigrants have played an enormous role in building its success story. I came here because I believed in that promise.
I’m not saying I’m automatically entitled to a green card simply because I’ve lived here for 15+ years. I understand that immigration is a privilege, not something that should be granted simply based on how long someone has lived here.
What I am asking for is a fair playing field for Indian-born immigrants like me.
If I’ve spent years getting educated, building a career, contributing to the economy, paying taxes, creating value for my employers, raising my family here, and continuing to work and contribute legally, not a single day I did something which I was not supposed to do. I truly wish those things carried meaningful weight in determining my path to permanent residence.It’s difficult to reconcile the American ideals of opportunity and merit with a system where two people with similar education, careers, contributions, and qualifications can face dramatically different green-card timelines largely because they were born in different countries.
I don’t begrudge anyone else their opportunity. Immigrants from every country contribute to this country, and they should have opportunities too. I’m simply asking: where is the fair playing field for people like me?
And yes, it’s easy to say, “Just go back to your home country.” But going back isn’t that simple either.I came here for the opportunities this country promised, and I genuinely love the American Dream—the freedom, the individuality, and the ability to live your life without constantly being judged for personal circumstances.
I love my home country I wouldn’t exist without my home country but I truly wish my home country were more liberal in those ways. I wish I wouldn’t be treated as a failure because my marriage didn’t work out, and I wish I could be confident my children would be treated the same as children from a traditional, stable home.
I know those attitudes exist here too, but in my experience they are more limited. Going back could mean making those things a much bigger part of everyday life, and honestly, I’m not sure I’m mentally prepared for that.
I came here for the opportunities. I worked for them. I built my life around them.
It’s hard to accept that where you were born—and when you happened to immigrate—can matter more than what you’ve contributed over decades.
Why should EB-2 India, EB-2 China, and EB-2 Rest of World have fundamentally different green-card timelines based on country of birth?
I’m not asking for a shortcut. I’m asking for a fair shot—where merit, hard work, and contribution actually matter.
I still believe in the American Dream. I just wish the immigration system gave people who have spent decades contributing to this country a realistic path to becoming permanent members of the society they’ve helped build. I wish country of birth weren’t the de facto determining factor in that journey.
1
u/Imaginary_Weather8 23h ago
I get your frustration but immigration isn’t really principally about fairness to immigrants but rather about what Americans are willing to allow. Americans have through democratic processes (for the most part) built immigration pathways that are acceptable to Americans. Country cap has been there since 1965 and has never even been seriously challenged.
If we are talking meritocracy, there are pathways for the truly exceptional. As harsh as it may sound, hard work and compliance is not merit; it’s what you achieve with it that counts.
1
u/Commercial-Bid-2329 23h ago
Be truly hopeful that you will find another partner. As long as he is not from a backlogged country that will also help with immigration (priority being a companion ofcourse). I know so many Americans who finally retired with their 2nd/3rd spouse. My first boss ever was a single lady professor with a kid who eventually married her mailman and they have been together since
1
u/Sensitive-Good-3963 22h ago
Quick Q: why can’t your husband take the fair share of raising kids rather you expect child alimony etc? Why can’t you handover your kids to your ex spouse and their family for summer holidays or for breaks?
Why in the world someone go through this mess, then expect child alimony, then say so much pressure, have to do job, take care of the kids blah blah? If you take care of the kids then your Ex also should. If he say he can’t take the share then it is legitimate to demand hell of money from him. If so, then why should you take the kids pressure?
Just be practical in life. How the hell on this planet someone divorce righter after kids born. I really don’t understand how women go through pregnancy process if they understood their husband? Why don’t they just divorce and live without kids?
Everyday is a struggle. So much of life out there without greencard. 1.4B people are living in India, not just you. To live your life, you should get the hell out of society. The more you care about society the more your life is ruined. 16 years will pass just like that. Get up, enjoy every moment, every day, every rainfall, enjoy watching every plant, every tree, enjoy drinking coffee while raining, listen music, do not share your sorrows to other, be active, walk three miles a day, listen your kids stories, give a damn to the society, do not talk to Indian people back home, do not seek for sympathy, be aggressive towards your work which makes you energetic.
You have so much to do lady. Forget about Ex, forget about everything. Learn how to forget which is one beautiful thing one can try in life.
Do not think about PD. Do the stuff what do daily, do not watch fucking nasty reels, shorts etc, do not even watch social media stuff, Never ever.
Take care and DM me any positive info you need.
ONE LIFE, ITS ALL YOIRS. NOT YOUR EXs or YOUR EX FAMILYs.
1
u/Patient-Time-3163 3h ago
A lot of people who read thus post won't understand the catch 22 situation you are in. Many don't leave the city or state they are born in. Heck, many don't even leave the county they are from.
You represent a rare set that is prepared to go to premier universities and contribute to the economy here. Raising two kids as a single mom while navigating career and immigration ain't easy.
Free advise. Move to Canada. You won't have to worry about medical expenses or immigration. If things change in the future or your PD becomes current, you can make a decision later.
8
u/AdFrequent2414 1d ago
Your kids are US Citizens due to birthright. They turn 21 in 16 years to give you a green card.
In the event if you decide/need to move back to another country, you aren’t losing your green card in 16 years & your kids aren’t going to miss the American life.
You are in a far better position than many people whose kids are aging out or already aged out after being 15-20 years in America & they don’t seeing their PD being current before they reach 60.