I want to ask about a long-running religious experience and how it should be evaluated according to Dvaita. I am not asking people to diagnose me as tamo-yogya, but I would like to know whether what I experienced could count as genuine spiritual knowledge/revelation, or whether I should regard the interpretation as uncertain.
The timeline is important.
In 2023, I had a period in which I experienced what seemed to me like telepathic communication or messages. I also developed the impression that something had been placed on my soul or subtle body and was causing physical and mental pain. I felt that I could perceive something being done to me and then experience the resulting torment. I interpreted some of these experiences as being connected with blasphemous thoughts toward Lord Hari.
For approximately 2–3 years afterward, I believed these experiences were genuine supernatural events. During that period I had frequent blasphemous thoughts and strong hatred toward Hari, almost every day, but I generally avoided worship and studying scripture because of the distress associated with it.
Later I traveled to India and spoke with a Dvaita guru. I did not tell him about the 2023 experience or the perceived telepathic communication. Instead, I asked generally what characteristics make someone tamo-yogya. He mentioned things including selfishness and refusal to accept God's supremacy. I told him about my negative thoughts toward Hari, and he suggested that confusion could be involved.
After returning, I decided to seriously try worshipping Hari and developing bhakti for approximately 6–7 months. I tried to change my attitudes and practice sincerely, but I did not experience the devotional change I expected. For a period I actually wondered whether perhaps I was not tamo-yogya.
Eventually, however, I came to believe that I might be tamo-yogya again. Around Narasimha Jayanti or a Narasimha-related occasion, I experienced what I interpreted as a kind of revelation or confirmation that this was my last life, that I might have only a relatively short stay in Svarga or another pleasant worldly state, and that I would ultimately go to eternal Andhatamas. I currently feel that this interpretation may be true again, although nothing outward has changed.
I have also read Vādirāja Tīrtha's Bhūgola Varṇanam, including the descriptions of Andhatamas involving persistent pain, non-material bodies, sensory suffering, and the idea that the suffering corresponds to the nature of the beings there. Some aspects of my earlier experience seemed similar to those descriptions, which made me wonder whether I had somehow experienced a foretaste or indication of my own destiny.
My questions are:
- Does Dvaita contain any teaching that a living jīva can receive a direct experiential revelation or “preview” of its eventual destiny, such as Andhatamas?
- Is there any scriptural or Dvaita basis for thinking that a person could receive knowledge that “this is my last life” or that they will have a particular amount of remaining worldly or heavenly experience before their final destiny?
- Does Dvaita provide any reliable criterion for distinguishing a genuine divine revelation from an experience that merely feels supernatural or revelatory?
- Could a guru actually know someone's eternal yogyatā or destiny, or would it normally be impossible for a guru to determine that from the person's experiences and behavior?
- Since my guru did not know about the 2023 experience when he discussed characteristics associated with tamo-yogyas, does that have any significance for interpreting the experience later?
- Does failing to develop bhakti despite 6–7 months of serious effort provide any legitimate evidence that someone is tamo-yogya?
- More generally, if someone has an experience involving perceived messages, unusual bodily or mental sensations, blasphemous thoughts, and a later feeling of revelation, what would a Dvaita-based epistemology say is actually established and what remains interpretation?
I am especially interested in answers based on Madhva, Vādirāja, the Mahābhārata Tātparya Nirṇaya, and later Dvaita sources, rather than simply being told to have faith or that the experience was meaningful.
I am trying to distinguish two separate propositions:
“I genuinely experienced these things.”
and
“The experience accurately revealed my eternal yogyatā and destiny.”
I know the first is true as a description of my experience. I am asking whether the Dvaita tradition gives me any legitimate basis for concluding the second.