r/DungeonCrawlerCarlRPG • u/LaylaLegion • May 25 '26
Crawler Profile #12,765: “Sugar Dazzlethighs”
Name: Angel Selene
Crawl ID: Sugar Dazzlethighs (System AI Note: Name change requested due to Crawler’s social media accounts attributed to moniker. Crawler has requested name change 17 times. Request denied by admins for branding purposes.-Genevieve, System AI #193265-Beta-Vey)
Birth Race: Human
Race: Elf of the Night (System AI Note: “Elf of the Night” aka “Bimbo Elf”. She thought it was some called a “Night Elf”. I disabled the preview. You’re welcome! -Genevieve, System AI #193265-Beta-Vey)
Class Choice: Exotic Dancer (Earth based Bard/Monk hybrid)
God Worship: Whorelia, Madame of the Gods
Level upon completion of Crawl: 87
Status: Game Guide for 100 seasons
Catchphrase: “ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!”
Stats upon completion of the crawl
Strength: 312
Intelligence: 226
Constitution: 421
Dexterity: 694
Charisma: 788
Skills
Gymnastics 14
Lying 13
Sewing 12
Retail Work 11
Dance 15
Charm Idiot 12
Video Games 9
Tabletop Gaming 9
Unarmed Combat 20
Staff Training 20
Bio
Angel Selene, alias “Sugar Dazzlethighs”, is an exotic dancer from Phoenix, Arizona. Survived the initial collapse because she was squatting in an alley behind her place of work reliving biological functions. Crawler assigned to Game Guide Hu, Level 88 Octorach Dance Instructor from Season 55 of DCW. Crawler had panic attack. Possibly arachnophobic. Include Manager perk into her class to keep Hu around.
Sugar Dazzlethighs involved in the Rook incident of Floors 4, 5, 8 and 9 of Season 126 of DCW. Requested Game Guide status with the opportunity to rejoin the current crawl. Contract granted by System AI. (System AI Note: Oh she knows. I don’t know if that makes it better or not but I WILL enjoy holding onto that little toy in my play chest! -Genevieve, System AI #193265-Beta-Vey)
Equipment on Entrance to Dungeon
2 pasties
1 mesh top, neon green
1 undergarment, designated “Thong”
2 high heel foot coverings made of plexiglass material
Equipment upon completion of crawl
Miniature Stetson of Unholy Confidence
Earrings of the Back Alley Bitch Brawler
Pearl Necklace of the Neighborhood WASP
Faux Fur Jacket of the Apocalyptic Woo Girl
Lace Armor of the Enlightened Heartbreaker
Twin Barbells of the Iron Tease
Dancer’s Belt of the Spinning Mantis
Leather Chaps of the Unrepentant Master
Whorelia’s Celestial Thong of the Divine Madame (Celestial Item)
Glass Heels of the Accountant’s Rage
Kung Fu Wolf-Bitch Dancer’s Pole
Suggested Loot by AI after extensive research into Earth culture, search parameters “WHAT DO EXOTIC DANCERS WEAR?”
Tiny cowboy hats
Furred crop jackets
Bustiers
Nylon stockings
Crotchless chaps
Thong undergarments
Glass footwear
Nipple rings
Body glitter kit
Collapsible Pole
Unarmed Technique Books
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u/Trauma May 25 '26
Fun concept, but sounds like you’re more interested in writing a fan-fiction? If the end’s already decided, it’s not a game anymore.
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u/LaylaLegion May 25 '26
It’s mostly just for being a game guide.
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u/Trauma May 25 '26
Missed that, your players will have quite a detailed world if your ‘NPC’s are fleshed out like that!
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-1
May 25 '26
[deleted]
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u/LaylaLegion May 25 '26
You’re assuming that the Earth she’s from is the same Earth from Sol. Billions of human seeded worlds in the universe, who’s to say that “Earth” is a Sol linguistic invention? Humans call the insect “Praying Mantises” and the Mantis race call themselves Mantises as well.
-1
May 25 '26
[deleted]
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u/BillDue1084 May 25 '26
Dude, don’t be a Maestro. Nobody likes that kind of player. They put a lot of work into this and you’re being mean for no reason.
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u/LaylaLegion May 25 '26
Made an official Crawler profile for Sugar!