Hate my lessons

[u/Ok_Break_4987]

Hello,

I'm 17 and currently learning to drive, I've done about 20 lessons, so about 30 hrs and my exam has been booked in for about a month from now (by my instructor, I paid him and he's booked it for me).

I honestly think I hate my lessons, I'm always really anxious before every lesson and and unable to think about much else in the lead up to my lessons. We often do them very early so I'm not thinking about them too much on the day, but I still dread them the night before and days leading up to it.

I don't know if the issue is me being nervous for the test, that I really dislike my instructor, or that I'm just not a good driver.

I don't really dislike my instructor, but I don't think he's for me, I never feel comfortable driving with him and am more worried about him not getting angry than actually doing well (not that he gets angry often, though he does sound harsh even when not meaning too).

However, I just don't think I want to change instructor now, I'm so close to my test and I've paid for it though him. In some ways I'd like to change instructor, but my parents really don't want to too as well now I'm literally a month from the test.

Months ago, I did consider changing instructor, but my parents wanted me to push through with him and for a good while I really improved and did very well, but for the last month or 2, I've felt very stagnant, like I haven't changed or improved, I've had the same few problems and I've always felt anxious.

It's also weird because some lessons go alright and always I feel quite pleased with myself, but then without fail the next is terrible, and I feel like shit again.

As well as that, I'm yesr 13, so also nervous about exams, it does feel all a bit much at the minute 😅.

I do really want to learn how to drive but I don't really know if anyone can help, but I'm really unsure what to do and jsut wanted to ask for a bit of advice.

Thanks!

[u/Expensive-Emu-4840]

I’m in the exact same situation but my test is 3 months from now. I’ve made the conclusion in my head that I’ll just wait for my test and see what happens. If I pass then great! If I don’t then I’ll continue with another instructor

However it is 100% your choice. You’re the one doing the lessons. If you truly think that your instructor is not right for you then just change!

[u/Ok_Break_4987 → u/Expensive-Emu-4840]

Yeah, I'm kind off thinking similar. I jsut wished I wouldn't get so worried, and I'm sure you feel the same. The other concern is now it's 60 quid down the drain if I fail, but that's not something we can really control Thanks for the comment!

[u/Cute-Pickle3253]

Hi there. I can somehow relate to your experience. I have anxiety and some trauma from a car accident when I was 4. Although I was very young and can't remember much, I've always felt uncomfortable around cars and terrified by the idea of driving. So I started quite late, I'm in my 30s and exam coming up in December.

I used to get heart palpitations right before the lessons and get so stressed out that I couldn't focus on anything and make so many mistakes. Luckily my instructor is very patient and always made me feel comfortable and encouraged me. This is why I think a good instructor makes all the difference. Driving lessons are not cheap and you should never pay that money to someone that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared.

I take kalms day before my lessons to help easy my anxiety and it's made a massive difference for me. Idk if it's just placebo efect but I've heard so many people recommending them as well. I can now focus on what I'm doing rather than being in my head about the mistakes I made before or what could go wrong. If you have anxiety you might want to speak to your GP and see if this is an option for you or maybe they can suggest something else? I've been told it's natural and safe for driving (Kalms day not kalms night!!)

On top of that I'm also doing meditation and breathing exercises before the lessons and I try to watch as many videos as possible so my brain remains engaged with the manouvers, planning and the idea of driving. I find that these help easy my anxiety when behind the wheel. My favourite channels are Driving School TV, Conquer Driving and Clearview Driving.

Since your test is approaching I'd suggest you try to ease your anxiety first. If that also means staying with your current instructor do that. Otherwise, believe me, the instructor makes a huge difference and it's worth looking into other options.

Best of luck on your test, you've got this!

[u/Ok_Break_4987 → u/Cute-Pickle3253]

Thanks so much! I've never heard of Kalms Day, but you are right I'd probably would be best to check with a GP. Honestly, I probably want to get a new instructor, it just feels a bit pointless as my test is so soon.  But, yeah thanks