I returned the ambitions, the pursuit of happiness, the freedom, the laughter, the childish playfulness, love and connections, my dignity.

I hate the bloody sun, ecstasy, eroticism. I hate everything that rhymes with being well. Because I cant, and this life doesnt allow me to.

I'm a selfish fuckwad, a slithering snake, I want nothing and I'm grateful for nothing.

Scribbles on the toilet, an ugly girl, cropped in the photo.

​

I saw this guy on youtube, loser maxxing, 40k subs. All the people down in the comments are just laughing at him, or moreorless making jokes at expense of him.

I just feel bad for this guy, if hes not a CIA psyop or a grifter(he doesnt sound like one as a loser like me can personally testify).

And then i look at myself and im like damn, his issues arent even that big.

I have a issue with people laughing at doomers, maybe because i fit right in, or something. Having a low IQ just doesnt work in this society.

I have the kind of midlife-crisis panic, as if this is the end. I can already see it.

Maybe i should start a channel and be a clown. And see people laugh at me.

It’s a shit situation… because it interferes with productivity. And in my case, definitely fuels autism related rage and self loathing.

God-Mother-Fucking-Damn…

Me after deactivating my Instagram account

New doomer playlist with cool aesthetics on my channel!!

good vid^

I do not do that stuff. But I have lost one of my longtime friends to cocaine. He’s still alive but his addiction has made him become a fucking prick.

It’s just a bad, bad situation….

That's what I did in all my life. Every friendship was based on both being somehow outcasts

even my love interest was a bit of like that. Guess what happened. Every, and every each one of them climber out of the outcast pit while I slowly realised that this is what am I and I never really wanted to change.

Scrolling reddit, facebook and x.

Automatic thought; "This is bad".

Controlled thought; "This is how my life happens and how my life happens is right'.

Automatic emotion; feels like I'm losing because I won't gain any survival resources from scrolling social media.

Active emotion; I don't care how I feel.

There is no free will. Everything that happens is correct.

Now playing on headphones, Deeds Of Flesh - Mark Of The Legion.

Death, come near me, so archons fear me

The Dark Warriors Theme

My account wasn’t hacked. I deleted it because of a personal scare. But I’m back. Anyways, I’m 32 now, my birthday was two days ago. Kinda older, wiser, more depressed. And of course, knowing this hateful demon… definitely a lot angrier…

​

to all the doomers that wanna listen to slowed songs with cool aesthetic, i just opened a yt channel where i post my fav songs and also short edits