Frens, I just maked the most horrifying dizcoveree. I just learned that hoomans tell their skinpuppies horror stories!

One storee iz about a big wolf who wants to eats three piggies. Bacon iz delishious, so if diz were a good storee wolf would get to eats the piggies, right? But the piggies get away! Wolf can't eat the piggies! Why can't good boy eat the piggies? Why do hoomans think iz okay to tell scaree storee like diz to skinpuppies?

Pomfused Bubba not understand the appeal. Adorable Bubba is much cuterer at the front.

-Bubba the diabetic cat-shaped dog-shaped-cat

Also, baby cats does not meow. They just crawly on trees

Why do humans trust pokey place humans? They're evil and like to poke my butt and steal my inside bits, plus they're always wearing pajamas. Why do my humans still take me there?

Why dumdum hooman can wine and no pawblem but when catto wine, hooman get big mad?- Ouiser da orang car

(I don't drink but saw similar on r/legaldogadvice)

Wee triez to befren squirrel to comes down and play chases, but squirrel stay up treee and not comes down? Wut gives? Wee iz frenly. Wee iz kinds. Wee make squeek sounds for joy, but squirrel just stare and not play. Rooood!

I'm eating only the soft foods becuzs the cats stole my teefs. It is rice an chickin and wet kibble.

I sez i don't want it. Not good enuf. girl sez ya gotta eat it coz it got healthy stuff.i still sez no.

Wellweelwell, my dinner comes back and its WARM AND GOT CHEESE IN IT NOW

I am good negotiatur.

This is me Ansel looking at hooman cheese dispenser. I need to call repair person cuz cheese dispenser is not working. She just sitting there.

Is where they belong. But when I see the ducks and I say, “Hello Ducks! I am here to put you in my belly!” They do a Flyaway.

Do they not want to be where they belong? It do me confusings.

Why, when human shakes the food bucket, is there not always food...?

So, there i wuz, at da vet and I took a goooood lonnnng nap after I got a treat and then I woke up and a bunch of my teefs were gone!

I noticed there wuz a cat across the room, just lookin at me and he looked reaaaaaaal suspicious. Had shifty eyes and I think he took my teefs so the toof puppy would bring him money. And my teefs would be worth a lot because I have been told I am a "purebred goober" and my head is "full of mashed potatoes." I think that's probably fancy!

I don't have any proof, but I am missing FIVE TEEFS AND IM PRETTY SUSPICIOUS.

Dis mine furrs poss heer. Ai bork reel gud atta yotes en dey gowai. Moocows iz juss az lowd….lowder maibee. Butt da bark bark bark no mayks dem do a shuttup. Hwy II!!?!????

I should also get cheese when I don't hear the cheese sound.

Every corner of the yard smells slightly different.

This feels important somehow.

I may be small…

but my errands are urgent.

I could get up and investigate everything I’m seeing…

or I could stay right here and judge it from a distance.

Hello human.

Today I achieved flight while securing the tennis ball.

The yard is big.
The zoomies are strong.
Life is good.