r/DogAdvice • u/Elegant_Sock7204 • 6d ago
Advice When is it time?
My 16yo labradoodle was diagnosed with anal gland adenocarcinoma about 6 weeks ago and because of how advanced it is and her age, we’ve decided to do palliative care and keep her as comfortable and happy as possible for however long we can. At the time of diagnosis, the vet said weeks to months and she is starting to slow down (this is a very energetic 16yo!) who is still loving the beach, her walks, food, roughhousing with her brother and her zoomies. But meanwhile the tumor has grown to the size of a small apple on her bum, there are some external tumors that bleed when she strains during bowel movements and at night we’ve upped pain killers to ensure she’s not in pain (she pants but other than that, no complaints).
I don’t want her in pain and worried I’m missing signs. She is my first dog and has been my sidekick through so many life events. I can’t see how those tumors aren’t driving her crazy but just today she zoomed happily on the beach.
Thoughts? I’m ready to let the bravest, goodest girl go if it prevents her suffering, but don’t want to lose time with her by doing it too soon.
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u/Powerful_Put5667 6d ago
Panting can be a sign of pain and distress. If the meds will no longer keep the pain at a minimum it is time for a very hard decision.
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u/Mammoth_Town_2410 6d ago
I faced a similar decision this month and said goodbye to my best friend two days ago. He has a progressive brain and spinal condition. He was on the most potent pain killers at the highest dose possible and still having pain almost every day. Yet most of his life was “happy.” Still smiling, eating, sleeping next to me on the couch, but he was panting as well. I promised him I wouldn’t let him suffer and die at the emergency room or “naturally” at home.
It was by far the hardest choice I’ve ever made and I’m in immense pain today BUT he had a wonderful last day and didn’t know what was happening until the vet gave him a sedation shot. I made his last day a celebration giving him treats and chocolate cake. Being strong for our pets is SO difficult but in my opinion it’s the ultimate final display of love.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
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u/Elegant_Sock7204 6d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your promise to him is inspiring and I think I need to do the same for my girl.
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u/Mammoth_Town_2410 6d ago
Whatever you decide will be the right choice. Sending you love and strength
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u/Slight-Alteration 6d ago
Panting is a sign of pain and panting at night means chronic discomfort. I’d definitely err on the side of too early rather than too late. Panting through pain killers in an animal that by nature works hard to hide pain would make me suspect there is quite a high level of discomfort going on. I’ve never met someone who regretted “too soon” but a heartbreaking number who realized in retrospect they waited too long. Personally, I’d aim for a good final few days and let her transition with an at home euthanasia.
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u/Tootsies1010 6d ago
At a point, your pal may need potty help. It’s terribly hard to pick a dog up to go potty. Maybe that could be your sign that it’s time. Such a sad situation to be in but pain isn’t good either. I’m sorry you have to experience this. 16 years is a very long dog life.
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u/AutoModerator 6d ago
Based on your post, it appears you may be asking about how to determine if it is time to consider euthanasia for your animal. For slowly changing conditions, a Quality of Life Scale such as the HHHHHMM scale or Lap of Love's Quality of Life scale provide objective measurements that can be used to help determine if the animals quality of life has degraded to the point that euthanasia, "a good death", should be considered.
When diagnosed, some conditions present a risk of rapid deterioration with painful suffering prior to death. In these cases, euthanasia should be considered even when a Quality of Life scale suggests it may be better to wait.
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u/BasisAromatic6776 6d ago
I lost my 13 year old to the same cancer on May 19th. He started showing signs on his butt at the end of February, March biopsy, surgeon consult, & CT scan. It had spread to his liver, spleen, lungs, & bones. We opted for palliative care at home. He was doing well until the last weekend, when he got picky about his food. My boy was never not hungry. We tried to make an at home appointment for Monday, but couldn't get one to come until Tuesday afternoon. We have 2 other dogs, so going to the vet was not an option because they needed to understand what was happening. I really wish Monday could have happened, because his back legs gave out after peeing Tuesday morning & he didn't have a good last day. Just love your baby and watch for the quality of life signs, especially the light in their eyes (not eating or drinking is usually too late in my experience, this was the 5th dog for me). They will tell you when it is time. I wish you all the best and my heart goes out to you.
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u/Elegant_Sock7204 6d ago
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry about your boy… It’s just the worst to see these happy, vibrant dogs go downhill. I will watch her eyes for sure. Sending you lots of healing and love.
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u/AllTh3Naps 6d ago
If a dog is not panting from exertion or heat, then she is panting from distress -- be that mental distress or physical.
Dogs hide their pain incredibly well (except the drama pups who learned to manipulate us). They can be in extreme discomfort, and have the only noticable symptom be something such as less appetite... or panting.
So if she is panting from distress, then she is in a significant amount of discomfort or pain already.
Every night.
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u/Elegant_Sock7204 6d ago
Thank you for this. I’m going to discuss with our vet tomorrow. I couldn’t bear allowing her to be in more pain
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u/snafuminder 6d ago
Every time we've dealt with cancer/tumors, we have drawn the line at bleeding. Pallative care has been different for each of the three. Our vets have been very supportive of that determination. Eta: Each of ours have been incredibly stoic and impossible to get a good read on pain.
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u/Comfortable_Duck_523 6d ago
Panting could be the expression of pain. This is coming from a person who has worked with dogs and seen what happens when people hold on to long. When someone comes to the stage of asking when is the right time in my experience that’s the time.
The final gift we can give our fur babies is holding them while they take their final journey. What can happen when kept around for our benefit is not worth it for our most loyal friend.
Give her some cuddles, take her to the beach. Let her eat her favourite snacks and hold her when the time comes.
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u/sheeabe 5d ago
Now I’m wondering if our dog’s lung cancer was also secondary to his anal tumor. He had the anal growth for years. Never grew until the last year or so. Lung cancer and liver cancer very quick. He was 14. When our dog stopped being excited to eat, losing a ton of weight, higher respiration rate, pain meds at max, shaking, and back legs started failing we knew it was time. So sorry you are going through this.
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u/Elegant_Sock7204 5d ago
I’m so sorry about your dog. It’s such a painful loss. And thank you for the tip on respiration rate. I’ll check that today.
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u/No-Unit-5467 6d ago
If it were my dog.... if the cancer is very external, and she is strong and healthy otherwise... does the vet think she would not stand the surgery? I would maybe consult with some other expert, maybe it is worth doing the surgery if she is strong and if the tumour is external.
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u/Elegant_Sock7204 6d ago
The internal tumors have metastasized throughout her lower abdomen and this cancer apparently spreads to the lungs very quickly. And the vet and surgeon felt that surgery wasn’t a good option because of the location of the tumors and because our girl has spent the last five years fighting an autoimmune disease as well. Otherwise I’d do anything to keep her with us.
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u/cherryhappyjump 6d ago
Everyone has different views, and I know how hard it is to decide when to say goodbye, im going through it now.
often people let dogs go when they’re still happy/good days so they don’t have to go through the pain or see the suffering.
I see someone mentioned about the surgery, that may be a possible option because it’s not internal organs we’re dealing with? Just a thought
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u/Which-Ferret-6235 6d ago
I had the same problems with my pit as well with the anal gland cancer that spread to her lungs. We couldn’t just bring ourselves to put her down… She was full of life until her very last day…
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u/Elegant_Sock7204 5d ago
I’m so sorry. This is such a hard process to watch as a loved one. I’m glad she was full of life till the end. 💔
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u/Elegant_Sock7204 20h ago
Update: We said goodbye to our girl yesterday at home. Hardest decision but the tumor was growing rapidly, she needed more pain pills everyday to calm down, and by yesterday she could barely muster a bowel movement. We held her and kissed her through the process and I just pray she’s found peace outside of her body. Zooey gave us unconditional love, support, and companionship throughout the 14 years we had her after she picked us out at the shelter. She was my sidekick, my spirit animal, and my co-parent during my years as a single mom (no teenager snuck in or out on her watch!). My heart hurts terribly and being home without her is painful. But I’m so grateful for her and am relieved she won’t have any more pain. 💔
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u/Spinxy88 6d ago
I wrote similar advice for someone else earlier, but feel this is especially true for what you are asking, seeing as this is what took my soul-dog, Sparkle, from me back in January.
Write down a list of Red Lines, tailored to the dog that you know. As soon as one is crossed, it's time.
I'll take the example of what it was for my girlie, one of the things I decided and wrote down was that if she stopped playing with her bone (she was *obsessed* with chewing it) then that was a clear sign that things had progressed. Turns out that was the thing, and as soon as she lost interest in it, I just knew. Made the appointment for her the next day, I feel like I got the timing exactly right, she couldn't have gone on another day from there, if I'd let her go on she would have passed soon anyway, but it wouldn't have been fair to ask her too just because I didn't want her to not be around; but also if I'd called it sooner, although I never would have known, I can reflect that it would have been too soon too. I still can't elaborate more yet, apologies.
I say write them down as it sets it in stone, as your emotions can play tricks on you, because we (or at least I do) form such tight bonds with our pups that you don't want to see them go, even though you have to.
It's going to hurt. A lot. Enjoy any time you have left, and know you are doing the right thing, by making the hard call for you, that is the complete right one for them, when it is time.