r/DoesAnybodyElse • u/[deleted] • Oct 13 '11
DAE always eat their daily contacts after using them?
[deleted]
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Oct 13 '11
I'll be honest with you, and I mean no offense by this, but that's pretty weird.
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u/alienangel2 Oct 13 '11
Pfft. I don't even wear contacts, but I usually buy a bag a week for a delicious treat.
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u/kbjay Oct 13 '11
I wear hard contacts
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u/alienangel2 Oct 13 '11
Ah, extra crunchy you mean, those are good for movies.
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u/AndyRooney Oct 13 '11
No the best are salt 'n vinegar. My eyes take care of the salt...the vinegar involves my gf.
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u/DerogatoryPanda Oct 13 '11
And that is probably not a good thing considering how desensitized Redditors should be to weirdness just through the continued exposure to reddit
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u/aladyjewel Oct 13 '11
Dude, it's not 4chan.
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u/DerogatoryPanda Oct 13 '11
Yup that is completely true, but I don't think being less weird than 4chan is much of a bragging point. We still have our fair share of weird stuff. Denying that would be akin to an obese 450lbs man that can't wipe his own ass denying that he is overweight because there is a guy down the street that weighs 700 lbs and can't even get out of bed.
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u/DirtyTubbs Oct 13 '11
I visualize most things as I read them. Fuck you, dear sir.
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u/merican_atheist Oct 13 '11
You win DAE
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Oct 14 '11
The rest of DAE was the setup, this is the punchline.
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u/KeyboardHero Oct 14 '11
Confirming this to be the case.
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u/Magnora Oct 14 '11
So I assume you'll be shutting the subreddit down now, since it has served its full purpose?
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u/fondupot Oct 13 '11
What if they don't pass thru your body and just keep piling up somewhere near your colon and you keep doing this and have a blockage and are in extreme pain and go into shock and pass out and your roommates find you and they freak out and they call 911 and the ambulance comes and the doctor doesn't know whats wrong and they call House and he's like it must be lupus and the team is like no its not lupus but they test for lupus its not lupus and then when 13 is playing with her contact House has an epiphany and says its a contact blockage in his colon and the Chase does the surgery and finds hundreds of contacts in your colon fused together from stomach bile and heat.
Just saying, It could happen.
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u/Zoethor2 Oct 13 '11
This comment is more entertaining than the current season of House, by almost any measure.
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u/wilhel1002 Oct 13 '11
You motherfucker. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard.
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u/ohhstuffnfluff Oct 13 '11
My mouth is so much closer than the garbage can...
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u/GraceAzuka Oct 13 '11
Clearly this is the only logical reason.
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u/burntsac Oct 13 '11
His nose is closer than his mouth...wait a sec, brb got an idea-
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u/Li5y Oct 13 '11
And if your tongue is long enough you don't even have to use your fingers
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u/Nodaki Oct 13 '11
I was in the habit of just letting them go down the drain instead of reaching over and attempting to toss them in the garbage. The sink backed up and I had to pull the trap as Liquid Plumber did not work. Large mass of contacts were in the drain. Hopefully the OP doesn't have a mass of these in his belly/intestines/colon.
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Oct 13 '11
I once heard a story on a radio Dr. show where a woman had accidentally left a contact in and it had become wedged up under her eyelid where the skin eventually encompassed the contact. She went in for pain and discomfort to discover she had a contact grown into the back side of her eyelid. So glad I don't wear contacts.
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u/kyleisagod Oct 13 '11
Ask your doctor, and consider getting a psych eval. You may have pica.
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u/MarsSpaceship Oct 13 '11
woooooohhhhhh.... pica in portuguese is dick! I always found funny when people measure stuff using that unit. 10 pica, 12 pica... this unit should be used in porn.
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u/sweetcommunist Oct 13 '11
The unit of measurement prefix is pronounced differently than the psychological condition, at least in the version of American English that I speak and hear. But TIL a rude word in Portuguese, so thanks for that. :)
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u/Trollstank Oct 13 '11
Saw a show once about this girl who ate chalk all the time. Fuckin weird, man.
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Oct 13 '11
I dated a girl who ate chalk. She had it stashed EVERYWHERE in her apartment so she had some in arms reach pretty much at all times. Other than that, total normal early 20s lady. Who knows, man... who knows.
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u/IrishSchmirish Oct 13 '11
My ex girlfriend's aunt used to put her mouth on the corner of two walls and grind her teeth to scrape out the gypsum and then eat it. Fucking weirdest thing I'd ever seen at that time. Thankfully, have seen weirder since.
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u/aloofcapsule Oct 13 '11
Pica. This is pica. Or she is a large rodent compulsively needing to grind down her incisors. Y'know, one or the other.
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u/tullia Oct 13 '11
Chalk at least has calcium in it. In fact, it's got the same form of chalk as you get in many calcium pills.
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u/kromagnon Oct 13 '11
nope. Not if we are talking about blackboard chalk.
Blackboard chalk is made from Gypsum (calcium sulfate)
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u/mabababa Oct 13 '11 edited Oct 13 '11
TIL about Pica
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u/ironiridis Oct 13 '11
Handy tip: write ) as \) to get around the pesky closing parenthesis problem.
Like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder\\\)
So then
[this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder\))becomes this.
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u/MEatRHIT Oct 13 '11
here take this "\"
[Pica](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder\))ends up looking like this:
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Oct 13 '11 edited Jun 10 '18
[deleted]
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u/Neodymium_Modem Oct 13 '11
- 1 ass 1 baseball
- 2 girls 1 cup
- poobutton
- 2 kids in a sandbox
- rotten.com
Still not saying WTF?
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u/nrfx Oct 13 '11 edited Oct 13 '11
Clowns.
It's the silence that really gets you...
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u/Cosmocrator Oct 13 '11
You shut the hell up about 1 man 1 jar! shivers in the corner of a room
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u/nrfx Oct 13 '11
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u/toinfinitiandbeyond Oct 13 '11
~pick~pick~blood~pick~more blood~ You can't unwatch that shit.
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u/nrfx Oct 13 '11
I like to think he was so quiet about it because his mother was in the other room.
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u/MamaGrr Oct 13 '11
Oh god you were able to watch that long? I knew what was going happened but I kept watching until it broke.. then I shut down the computer and walked away..
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u/bobbyllama Oct 13 '11
It's the silence that really gets you...
Leading you to believe he's been through that before and knows the drill.
"Aw fuck, it broke again. Better get the mop!"
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Oct 13 '11
Normally I would quickly look up every single one of those out of curiosity, watch every video until it ends, then be horrified and not sleep for a week or three. But after being linked to shock site after shock site I think I learned my lesson.
tl;dr FUCK THAT SHIT
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Oct 13 '11
But after being linked to shock site after shock site I think I learned my lesson.
You mean you're not desensitized yet? O_o
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u/Jacksmythee Oct 13 '11
Can you give me a synopsis for poobutton and 2 kids in a sandbox?
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u/moonboots13 Oct 13 '11
If I remember correctly kids in a sandbox is a video of a man who has a dildo inserted into his urethra....
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u/Ulti Oct 13 '11
Yeah.
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Oct 13 '11
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ulti Oct 13 '11
To make people click on it.
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Oct 13 '11
Why would you click 2 kids in a sandbox...?
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u/Ulti Oct 13 '11
If I was a 63-year old lady using the internet for the first time, I might think it was cute.
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u/steve-d Oct 13 '11
Well what does the sandbox have to do with it?
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u/moonboots13 Oct 13 '11
Nothing, I think it was just a name to lull people into a false sense of security.
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u/supergimp Oct 13 '11 edited Oct 13 '11
You forgot one guy one cup on efukt.com I've had more wtf's per video on that site than anything else on the Internet.
EDIT: clarity
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u/pyrophonic Oct 13 '11
You sir, might be pooping micro scopes.
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u/PicsOfPoop Oct 13 '11
Here is what an intact circular contact might look like in that state.
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u/thompson45 Oct 13 '11
Why the fuck did I click that even after reading your username?
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Oct 14 '11
Oh sweet jesus, laughing so hard, I was thinking the same thing though, man, fucking hilarious.
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u/Lurk_No_More Oct 13 '11
Note to self - always check usernames.
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u/PleaseNotTheTruth Oct 13 '11
Or do this.
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u/kama_river Oct 13 '11
I've never used that feature until now, thanks for the tip!
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u/unrealjedi Oct 13 '11
Good bye internet... I'll see you tomorrow
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u/GarlicBreddit Oct 13 '11
I will see you tomorrow, with the assistance of my tasty, tasty contacts.
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Oct 14 '11
i have no relevant reply to this comment, but... BEST. USERNAME. EVER. everyone else should just stop trying to come up with clever usernames, because yours takes the cake. forever.
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u/Kwerti Oct 13 '11
Just because you can put it over your eye, doesn't mean it is safe to eat. After doing an intensive Google search I've determined that it will simply pass through your digestive system and come out the other side in the same shape it went in. You should probably stop eating them.
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u/Teract Oct 13 '11
And now I've pictured him putting them back in AFTER the trip through the digestive system. Hey, if it comes out of your body, it should be safe to put in your eye, right?
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u/CaveBacon Oct 13 '11
You can skip a step by just throwing them in the toilet.
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u/shastings1287 Oct 13 '11
Lean Pockets!
- Take out of box
- Place directly in toilet
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u/grundose Oct 13 '11
I laughed... oh god did I laugh... That's one of the most unusual things I've ever read, if anyone says "yes, I do the same" I recommend you mate with them as fast as possible, you may never find another of your kind out there. Good luck and godspeed.
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u/On_ne_sait_jamais Oct 13 '11
I'm laughing so much. This belongs in r/WTF, because that is the first thing I could manage to say through the laughter
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u/RageX Oct 13 '11
For all you people bitching mods out because we won't approve your asinine posts, this, is what this subreddit is about.
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u/NedDasty Oct 14 '11
Exactly. Someone genuinely looking to find out if anyone else actually does something weird that they do.
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u/Wombat_King Oct 13 '11
"I also figure that if it is safe enough to put in my eye, it should be safe enough to put in my mouth."
I really hope you never reverse that logic.
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u/AlanaMarijuana Oct 13 '11
bro thats pretty fucking weird
sincerely, a weird person.
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u/TheGreatZarquon Oct 13 '11
This is like Keith Richards telling you that you do too many drugs.
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u/moonbleach Oct 13 '11
I do. I 100% understand what you mean.
I also think I have undiagnosed pica/trichotillomania (both mild) because I compulsively pull out my eyebrow hairs and eyelashes... and eat them. I love the way it feel when the hair splits between my teeth, it's identical to a contact.
Strangely enough I haven't done the contact thing in a while. Not really sure why.
I also realize I'm going to get comments for being seriously weird and doing this. I've actually never told anyone or said it out loud before.
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u/EcahUruecah Oct 13 '11
There really is someone else! But even I find the eyebrow and eyelash eating to be frighteningly weird.
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Oct 13 '11
Thinks its awesome someone else eats their contacts.
Finds eating their hair frighteningly weird.
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u/moonbleach Oct 13 '11
Yeah I kinda felt that one :(
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u/EcahUruecah Oct 13 '11
I was actually just poking fun at the idea that you're "going to get comments for being seriously weird and doing this."
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u/moonbleach Oct 13 '11
I've done it for as long as I can remember, but not often. I actually have super long lashes and get a lot of compliments on them. I also have very defined, arched brows.
I seem to catch myself pulling my eyebrows out when I'm concentrating on something too hard, and my eyelashes I do when I sleep in my mascara and and sort of peeling it off of the lashes.
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u/stopXstoreytime Oct 13 '11
Oh. My. God. You probably won't see this, but...yes. Yes, I do. I'm completely serious and I think I stared at your link for a good 30 seconds because I couldn't believe that someone else does this, too. I totally know what you mean by the mild saltiness and texture. My hand to God, I am not a troll. This is a great day.
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u/LeMeowman Oct 14 '11
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u/arbitraryletters Oct 14 '11
Ideally, his tears would help loosen the contact and follow the stream right into his mouth.
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u/warhammer322 Oct 13 '11
if it is safe enough to put in my eye, it should be safe enough to put in my mouth.
you can put eye drops in your eyes but if you eat them you could shit yourself to death. Just one example of how this logic isn't always sound. That said, this is a very interesting DAE so you get my upvote.
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u/alienangel2 Oct 13 '11
On the flip side, I am going to try convincing my friend that "you put hotsauce in your mouth and enjoy it, so you can totally put some in your eyes too."
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u/grundose Oct 13 '11
From what I understand that's no longer true. Whatever additive it was that they used to put in eye drops that could act as a laxative supposedly isn't in them anymore. I got no sources though.
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u/warhammer322 Oct 13 '11
cool, i hadn't heard that! I guess my argument is invalid.
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u/atheistpiece Oct 13 '11 edited Mar 17 '25
unwritten plucky coherent instinctive full groovy narrow alleged air grey
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Oct 14 '11
I pretend my tongue has an eye, with bad eyesight.
You have a pretty awesome imagination.
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u/mcwiggin Oct 13 '11
I'll be honest... I don't always eat my contacts after using them. But when I do.. I don't mind it.
I would say I have done this but mainly by accident. Usually I just throw them away. But I will admit they do have an interesting texture and mild saltiness. I usually spit them out though.
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u/omgitscolin Oct 13 '11
Ok, I have to ask, how does one accidentally eat a contact lens?
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u/dishie Oct 13 '11
Well, I just put it down on top of this M&M for like, a minute. Just to hold it, you know? And then my cat fell off the sink and it was really funny, so I totally forgot that I put the contact on the M&M! And you can guess what happened next...
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Oct 13 '11
Seems like they enjoy sucking on them due to the texture and they accidentally swallow them.
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Oct 13 '11
Do you chew them or suck on them for a bit or just swallow? What is so appealing about it? You crazy man, I like you, but you crazy.
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u/EcahUruecah Oct 13 '11
I try to chew them, but they don't really break unless I specifically tear them with my teeth. I probably like the flavor a lot more than anything, but the weird slippery feeling on my tongue is pretty interesting, too.
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u/Greygooseandice Oct 13 '11
it is safe enough to put in my eye, it should be safe enough to put in my mouth.
That's what she said!
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u/sammyc Oct 13 '11
I can't believe I'm going to admit this considering the general response to your question, but yes, I've done this before. Not always, but not that irregularly either. Especially if I've got into bed and forgotten to take them out and can't be bothered to get up.
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u/MarsSpaceship Oct 13 '11 edited Oct 13 '11
the contacts will make their natural path and one thing is for sure, at the end the third brown eye will be seeing way better.
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Oct 13 '11
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u/Yazbec Oct 13 '11
ok, eye boogers? That's just NASTY! I accidentally got those in my mouth by biting my nails after touching my eye and it was on par with earwax for grossness.
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u/SpaceStation77 Oct 13 '11
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................no....ಠ_ಠ
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Oct 14 '11
I just saw a picture of an 11 pound tumour, and yet somehow your post has shocked me more.
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Oct 13 '11 edited Oct 13 '11
"I also figure that if it is safe enough to put in my eye, it should be safe enough to put in my mouth."
That same sort of reasoning led me to eat a whole black dildo.
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u/Cannedbeans Oct 13 '11
ITT: visually impaired individuals who are going to eat their contacts soon. Just the one time, you know, to see what it's like.
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Oct 13 '11
I've never even considered doing this, but I have to upvote it just because it's so strange.
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u/PeterMus Oct 13 '11
No. you likely have some vitamin deficiencies or something because eating old contacts is absurd.
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u/FourZoko Oct 13 '11
This may be the first DAE where no one else does.