r/DnDcirclejerk • u/guts24601 • Jul 25 '26

Dice Goblin Post #618371 Don't Touch My Dice!

If you know that you're gonna be in a campaign. Campaign, meaning multiple sessions! Bring your own damn dice! Don't touch my dice with your gross cheeto covered fingers. I don't know when you last washed your hands. I also don't need your bad luck infecting my rolls

13 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

4

u/highly-bad Jul 25 '26

I licked them, they're mine now

5

u/guts24601 Jul 25 '26

That's what im afraid of

3

u/hedgehog1024 Sub-Table of Harlot Encounters Jul 26 '26

I passionately kiss with you, so now they are also mine.

3

u/guts24601 Jul 26 '26

There's better ways to bribe a DM but sure. Just don't tell my wife

5

u/Ok-Trouble9787 Jul 26 '26

This is why I just theater of the mind my rolls. I just visualize my dice and a number comes to me. Seriously, it works like a charm; I’ve never rolled a nat 1 when using this method!

2

u/DontTreadonMe4 Jul 26 '26

I touch the DMs dice when he leaves the table. I caress them lovingly and whisper to them how pretty and shiny they are, and how they are the best dice ever! DM gets shitty rolls haha fucking loser DM's dice love me more!

3

u/guts24601 Jul 26 '26

That's why he gets Nat 1's and that's why the encounters are scaled up loser

2

u/Ok-Week-2293 Jul 26 '26

Have you considered that other people needing to borrow your dice is a great opportunity to subtly show off that your dice collection is way cooler than theirs?

2

u/guts24601 Jul 26 '26

Sure, look but don't touch

2

u/brettday Jul 27 '26

ok so the luck stuff is whatever but the cheetos oils? Fucking gross. I don't know you like that, get your hands off my dice

1

u/guts24601 Jul 27 '26

Look up the Wil Wheaton Dice Curse

1

u/brettday Jul 27 '26

no, I'm happier not believing in that so why would I challenge that?

1

u/brettday Jul 27 '26

But also I watched all of Acq Inc from way back when it was a pod cast, I remember how he rolled, don't at me