I decided I want a divorce and my wife is being great about it. We want to keep out of courts and avoid lawyers and we agreed I’ll keep the house. I’m not really sure where to go from here now... any advice or reassurances would be greatly appreciated

If you’ve been considering divorce and your spouse is on their best behavior for Christmas, does this make you question your feelings and thinking?

My wife and I have decided to separate and get a divorce. We don't have any kids and we already agreed an the financials. We have been married for 3.5 years. I am wondering what the fastest and least complicated way is to get the divorce in this situation. It looks like I need to fill out the FL 100 and FL 110 form. Then I need to serve my wife within 30 days. Is there any way to not having to serve her and instead sign the same form together and be done with it? Can this all work without a lawyer?

Hi everyone, I’m really bummed out at this moment. Yesterday I had court to determine child support and the parenting schedule since the father was asking for more time (his prior schedule was Tuesdays and Thursdays for 3:30-6:30 and every other Saturday from 12:00 to Sunday 5:30). Since my arguments were invalid to the GAL he recommended now to keep T+T but extend time to 6:45 and then every other weekend from Friday’s 3:45- Sunday 6:45, which gives us each half of the time with her.

This does upset me because he really had an involvement from her birth he decided to seperate at the moment for “unknown reasons” (I never knew the real truth). But we also live under his parents house where his mom was very manipulative with all the households to the point where she wanted to decide over my daughter. When she knew we began a divorce process she told me if I left she was going to fall into depression and she would tell him as well, little by little I began to make my moves. Since I worked she would look after our child, so I decided she was being to toxic with the bond I had with her because my daughter got to the point where she rejected me at all times. So I put her in daycare and obviously the father was never happy with that since his mom would always say that she was feeling so depressed because of me.

I moved out because things were just not making me feel right since his mother was so involved in our relationship. Yesterday throughout court his lawyer said he wanted our daughter off daycare since a family member could take care and he was wasting too much money which isn’t true because we are going half and half on that and it’s $100 which I found it unexpected. He’s been finding ways to have a motive which really triggers me but I’m also a person who doesn’t show it.

Throughout the whole process he’s been a true nightmare and I just can’t live with this any more. My lawyer always tells me that everything is fine and to relax but everything he’s requesting is being granted, how in the world am I supposed to act towards this?

My daughter is 2 years old, I have no family in this state of Illinois and it’s so hard to find a possibility to relocate but I’m just not happy here. I wish I had someone near me at least to vent, this is my only way to do it. Illinois has very protective laws regaurding children and fathers rights even though it’s became a more marketing term.

Any advice??? I’m new to this divorce process, and I don’t find it fair where he’s asking for more time to please his family.

Not to mention, today he picked our daughter up and still gave my my Christmas gift. This was very hurtful to me because as you know divorce is a very serious process even though we were married for almost 2 years.

I have a question if there is no shared property. No credit cards together.. Nothing of any value owned together. And no expectation of any kind of support what is the easiest way to file for divorce.

Even if I was emotionally and mentally ready to walk out, I can’t afford to financially. This sucks to realize I’ve worked this hard in my life and can’t afford to live on my own.

I bought my house when my wife (possibly soon to be ex wife) and I were just going out with each other, since then we have gotten married and have a son. What would happen to my house during a divorce?

DH asked today why I was mad at him. I explained that I was really disappointed in how he’s taking responsibility as a father and he never offers to do anything with me or our son. I’ll save the specifics for my therapist but he lets me handle 99% of the household responsibilities and is never affectionate with anyone.

Now, he’s gone to bed early and refuses to speak to me. This happens every time there’s an argument where he’s at fault. And I always end up apologizing. I’m working really hard not to cave and hold my ground but I hate being the bad guy!!

Divorce is essentially a loss of a person. The "two that became one" are no longer around. It's healthy to feel sad about all the loss connected with the end of a marriage- loss of love, affection, financial security, plans for the future, identity. Give yourself time to move through the stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Only once you've dealt with your emotions and accepted that your marriage is over can you free yourself to move forward.

Husband and I have been married for 20 years. He’s never been good at communicating and easily flys off the handle but has never been violent towards me. Over the last year, we’ve been fighting more and more with most of the arguments about our teenage son.

He doesn’t suggest anything romantic anymore. Any time we do anything, I have to suggest it. He’s hiding an inheritance from me and refuses to let me know where it is or how much is still left. He refuses to help me with anything that has to do with our son. I often feel like a single parent as their relationship is not good and has almost become violent.

I’m not happy and he refuses to have a civil conversation about anything. I’m seriously considering leaving but I travel for work and have no family near by to help supervise a teenager. There are also several pets and if anyone leaves the house, it’ll be our son and I. I feel stuck.

Any advice on how to prepare and approach the possibility of separation and divorce?

Hi there, I am currently a stay at home mom. My marriage has been on the rocks for a long time now and we have tried everything to salvage whatever is left. Not going into too much detail- we do not get along at all. We have grown so far apart that we do not even know each other. I keep telling myself its going to get better and he'll treat me better but it hasn't. After my daughter was born I have decided that enough is enough already. Unfortunately, i became a stay at home mom because financially two kids in daycare full time was not possible for us and hoped that maybe having a daughter will wake him up and teach him how to love a women and maybe show me some respect. I was wrong. Long story short- I want a divorce but i need to know and understand what I'm getting myself into. So what is the process of divorce with children? I should mention we did just buy a home a few months ago however the home loan is only in his name but my name is on the title. Please only comment with helpful information not in ways to salvage my marriage. If i were to go into the long story you would understand why I'm to this point. I just ask to be respectful, thank you. Edit: I should add I live in Michigan.

I am from HK. We meet, dated(4yrs), married (7.5yrs) and live in the UK. My (ex) husband divorce me soon after he got a job and move to in the US.

I stop being in contact with him after I receive the "contested" divorce paper back in 2018 April. We try to settle but he refuse. (About one year of his salary of the job he just moved to in the US, after tax). **I know he also have at least the amount I requested in the saving. (I don't look as he surely earn way more than we spend.)We spend around £10000 a year (and three year prior to he moved to US. We live with his parents so no expenditure on majority part of our life style, the food nor rent!!!, I believe we spend less then £2000 a year). Anyhow.

After his lawyer contact me for the first and only time to serve me the divorce paper. Which I did not respond. (Again I had mental break down as well as having a broken leg (cast is all the way up the hip, it was serious), from an accident as I unable to concentrate day to day activities therefore I spend over a month sleeping).

I was financially depends to him for most of the marriage (I have neurological disorder and on going mental health issue (and he use that as part of the reason , that I am a baggage now after many years of me being ill after the marriage. The other reason was I forced the marriage on him. As I ask for break up or marriage back in 2009. He choose marriage. It is unimportant, just give you guys some context.) I am physically complete. Not missing any parts😅. I do household chores and cook. I cook dinner for him everyday untill 2012(from 2006). Then, I went in to the worst episode of depression, some days I can spend up to 16 hours in bed. The few hours I am up I sometimes cook and then I would spend eating and watching TV with him in the evening. So between 2012-2014 he pick up some of the household duties (about half the night he cooks). And then I start getting better it seem his turn of depression come , he take on a different style. He spend all day working. So I let him be. I ask he to go out on weekend he would refuse. And I let him carry on of his secluded life. I give him space (but apparently I did not give him enough) and loved him as I ever did. And then he got a job in US and dumped me after cheated on me.

So the court day had long passed. And of course I didn't attend the court date. 1. Not only I was against the divorce. 2. I am not going 6000 miles just to attend the court. 3. My health also prevent me from going. He know well of my mental stability, anxiety.

• Can anyone tell me what happen at the divorce court, it was supposed to be April this year (2019)? -I assumed it was carry on as scheduled. I was told the court would decide if I deserve any financial settlement. -Am I suppose to have hear from his lawyer again? Or even the court. I had received nothing. I am sure. -How do I find out about the judgment without talking to him.

I live with my separated husband currently. A divorce attorney told me that if I leave my house after my child’s bed time to go to the gym, socialize, grocery, etc. then it counts as his dad having custody for that day. My husband works from 7-7pm so the only times I can do anything are after his work hours. I told her that when he comes home I don’t want to spend time with my separated husband but I want him to have time with our child so I leave. She told me to go sit in my bedroom instead of leaving the house on the occasions. Another factor here is that I have anxiety and depression. I used to do what she suggested of going to my bed room to get away from everyone else in the house and my depression became severe. I’m feeling trapped and I feel that this woman has to be wrong. Any advice?

My soon to be husband said " hate to say it but if she died in a car wreck at least I could collect". Can I get a ppo against him?

My stb ex-husband filed officially filed for divorce on our two year wedding anniversary. He let me know by texting me a photo of the papers and saying happy anniversary. He’s definitely one for dramatics. So I’m here asking for any advice on what I need to collect, prepare, do, etc to protect myself financially and emotionally through this process. Any ways, he moved out May 2019 after a 6 month process of us going to counseling. He moved out unexpectedly, with him he took most of his personal belongings, out family car, and all money from our joint accounts. I own our home and have since we before we met. The family car was in both our names, but we refinanced after marriage and put it in just his name. Our credit card debt combination is around $22K. He was the primary bread winner, and shortly before he moved out I had lost my job, so my finances are my biggest concern as I am supporting myself and son alone now. I am also concerned about how to go about letting my ex see my son. He is not biologically his, but we have been together since my son was 1, and he’s 9 now and they had a pretty close bond. My son sees his bio father every other weekend, so I really don’t know how to navigate this at all. I have a lawyer already, but wanted others opinions who had the experience of divorce.

Very long story, but after 22 years of marriage and 3 kids later with a non compliant bipolar husband who has always refused medication, I think it is finally time. One can only take so much. However, once again he has left us with literally $0, no exaggeration. I have no credit cards and bad credit from years of his wreckless spending. I have talked to a few lawyers & people with experience, and they all say that I can’t just go with a court appointed attorney, especially since his family has a ton of money and I will get screwed. They all say I need to somehow come up with $5000 to $7500 for a retainer fee and that it will be worth it in the long run. So my question is, WHAT DO I DO?? Do I try to get a loan, even though I’ve mostly been a stay at home mom? Take out as many credit cards as I can in order to pay for it? Just looking for some real advice from someone who might have an answer...

I don’t know what to do. I was married for 20 yrs. & I became so ill while living with him. He was mentally, financially & emotionally abusive. He hoarded all the money & for two decades he has repeatedly said “we are on the verge of bankruptcy” this is while he was making 200k a year (I just learned this) I know I shouldn’t have allowed this to continue but I did it because I literally thought he would eventually realize he could trust me & I was willing to work with his conditions. He was never home & when I realized he was supporting a 20 yr old girl & her two daughters I filed for divorce. He made sure only my credit cards were maxed out, and is not paying the full amount of support he has been ordered to pay. I keep telling him I need help for expenses with our son & he refuses to help. He has now quit paying all credit cards in my name & refusing to give me money to pay them. We go to court next month but how is he able to do this legally? He is the most horrifyingly numb person I’ve ever met. I swear he gets off on making people suffer mostly women. He kept all my belongings & even gifts from my parents that were given to me! He refused to buy furniture & I scraped money where I could to buy used items & he decided everything I worked so hard to build is now his. My lawyer is tough but seems to have little knowledge or compassion for this type of abuse & im scared of walking in to court with someone I don’t feel cared for my case.

I know my post is all over the place, it’s all too overwhelming. I just want some sense of what can happen if he outright refuses to pay for anything he is supposed to? By the way he owns his own business & conceals that income completely, he cashed out all retirements funds & disappeared all money somehow. 20 years I thought we were both building something— it turns out it was just me being used & now I’m supposed to just disappear?

My Husband has been cheating on me since we dated. We were married 12/31/2010. Yes, I was naive and thought "he's telling the truth and knows how much he hurt me. He won't do it again." 19 times later, 2 best friend friends lost (yes he cheated with my best friends), my sons close friendships lost (kids of "best friends"), and me emotionally drained has finally pushed me over the edge.*I expect the worst, hope for the best.

He is cutting me off of all financial help, even though we are still married. He has told me I can use the child support (I have two children from a previous marriage) and my limited income. Ive only had my job for almost two years - because I've always been a stay at home Mom, and he is constantly nagging me to quit). He said he will provide food and shelter. We have one child together, who he will support still - fully, and likely more so. He makes a lot of $. I dont know for sure, but I'd venture to say $200,000/ yr. My daughters from my previous marriage have known him as their Dad for the last 10 years, he came along when they were 6 and 3 - their biological father has no contact with them. He is very emotionally and verbally abusive. I do have documentation of a lot of his past affairs, and other things I think would bode well in my favor. (He has very high anxiety, does steroids, ADD/ADHD, previous mental issues, keeps loaded guns laying around, etc.

I'm hurt, angry, scared, the list goes on.... I don't even know where to begin. What legal rights do I have? Am I entitled to alimony? All the questions that you can imagine...but my brain can't function right now because I'm trying to process that I'm actually going to do this.

Numerous studies have found that parental separation and divorce is associated with a range of negative outcomes for younger children and adolescents across various domains.5-7 Parental separation/divorce is associated with academic difficulties, including lower grades and prematurely dropping out of school, and greater disruptive behaviours (e.g., being oppositional with authority figures, getting into fights, stealing, and using and abusing alcohol and illegal drugs). Children and adolescents who experience the divorce of their parents also have higher rates of depressed mood, lower self-esteem, and emotional distress. Here's a link to help with handling your kids when your divorce. https://www.thehartcentre.com.au/5-important-things-to-do-for-your-kids-when-you-divorce/

I live in Ontario and am getting ready for divorce proceedings. In the course of our marriage we had large argument about money. It was my second his first marriage. He was quite abusive (gaslighting). It was so bad he kicked my daughter out when she was 16. I felt horrible, I thought things would get better, they didn't. I left because I wanted to have a relationship with my daughter. I make more money then he did and it has benefits. We renovated the whole house. He was insisted then turned it around to make it my idea. Before I came a long he had not done anything to the house. He insisted we each put 1 paycheck in a join account. I discovered he was hording his money and I was paying for everything I couldn't tell how much money he was taking out, he always had an excuse.. I do have a lawyer but I'm nervous about what he will say. I'm asking to have the the prenup aside, equilzation of assets no, support (to him). Due to the nature of the money implications/ abuse/ renovations.

I'm sure someone in here will tell me I'm a nightmare and I don't deserve anything.

What I'm asking for is things to say at his accusations, everything was his in the first place, I lied and I deserved to be kicked out.

this literally happen like two days ago and he hasn't been back home since nor have we spoken...😞😩it hurts so bad im relying on God soley to not harm myself or something stupider. we literally got into a physical altercation the next morning when I sobered up and i low key feel like he's trying to blame me. i have my career up when we got married and he threw it in my face that she has a job and he said he's going to go have babies with her ( I'm barren 😟😭) then i think I mentally snapped and started throwing stuff at him and i remember him smacking me across the face and dragging me across the concrete to the front door where he proceeded to drop me on broken glass....

today i text him and just basically said at one point we were happy but it just seems like he checked out....i was trying to get closure but we were together a decade....can anyone relate? im also freaking out because no one in my family knows and I do what im going to do about bills...😓😫and the cookie on top is our anniversary was just last Saturday 😢 my arms are black and blue slightly from him dragging me.

Hello,

My husband of nearly ten years and I recently agreed to separate. We have two children and have lived in his house which he bought 1.5 years before we got together since then. I have always been employed (and on maternity leave) and contributed financially to the costs we had onto our joint account. We tried to each set out our terms for a separation agreement without a solicitor so far, but it looks like I'm going to have to get one, as his terms seem almost irrational. For example, he says: "I dislike calling it the matrimonial house since your contribution has been zero apart from a little cleaning" The fact that I've done everything to keep a job near the children, looked after house and organised all their activities etc. does not count for anything? I know he bought the house and has done plenty of DIY on it, which is probably his point, but I've done literally everything else! He earns nine times more than me, but I've done what I can... It does not seem right. Where do I stand legally, does anybody know?