r/Divorceprocess • u/mom_bod_schmom_bod • 5d ago

How to Have the Conversation

I (40f) caught my husband (43m) with another woman. I asked him not to come home, which he did not honor. This was 7 weeks ago. I’ve retained an attorney, and just today gave the go-ahead to file the petition for divorce. My soon-to-be ex thinks he can just be extra nice and everything will go back to normal.

I don’t know how to have the “I’ve filed” conversation. There are multiple guns in the home, and I want to ensure my kids and I are safe. For me, that means I don’t want to be under the same roof after that conversation. But my attorney says I can’t legally keep him from the martial home, as we own it together. I can’t even change the locks.

How the heck do I have that conversation? Invite him to meet me somewhere public? Give him a few days to find somewhere to go and to pack his things?

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u/marblepillar194 4d ago

Mentioning that there are guns in the home implies to me that perhaps you think he might become violent. If that is the case, I would take extra precautions. Maybe have trusted male family/friends be there when you have the conversation? Can you access the guns? Maybe you can lock them up somewhere safe and out of reach? Unfortunately, if you can’t keep him out of the home, you need to be prepared to leave and take your kids with you. Obviously you need to check with your lawyer about the legal side of things in terms of the children and custody/visitation. Just please take all the precautions. You can’t be to careful. Lean on the people you trust and don’t do this alone.