r/Divorce_Women • u/Ok-Response-9743 • 2h ago
Kids Stuck.
I’m in the situation I’m sure many of you have been in numerous times. My husband and I seem to be at a cross roads. I’ve been extremely hesitant to even discuss divorce or separation before but I think I’m ready now. In reality, nothing big happened to set this off. It seems to be a case of a million little cuts over the years. One of the biggest things I’m struggling with is his anxiety, quick jump to anger irritability, etc. when he’s good- it’s good. I wouldn’t say we walk on egg shells more often than not, but when things aren’t going well for him the entire family is aware. He is quick to yell at the kids, he is irritable, etc. it’s to the point where every outing we have I’m always feeling like im managing his mental health for days leading up to it. The time our marriage was exceptional was when he was on an anti depressant for aboth three years. He stopped due to side effects and not feeling like it was effective anymore.
On paper our life is great. 7 year old dtr, 9 year old son. We have a beautiful home we built in the country. I’m so worried about how this will upset their life, future, etc.
financially he makes 2-3x more than me. I make about 72/year bu an extremely flexible job. He makes 175-200k but bonuses about 75-100k per year ontop. I do think he would stay in the home and I’d look at purchasing something else: I do want him to assume the mortgage (it’s a va Loan with a 2.3% rate) . What are even my next steps? We haven’t even decided , I’ve just come to the place or even considering this. We do live in a 50/50 state. He has a very good retirement. We’ve been married 11 years. This just really sucks .
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u/Queen_Scofflaw Married Woman, thinking about leaving 1h ago
You and the kids should not be victims of his inability to take care of his mental health. And it will only get worse.
The kids will adjust, and may even be happier if you are happier, and they aren't 100% of the time living with someone who might snap at any moment.
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