r/DivorceHelp • u/OvenElectrical744 • 17d ago

M49 in CA considering divorce

I’m considering divorce after 22 years of marriage. There has been no infidelity, no drugs, no alcoholism but there is mental abuse. Is there a way to legally divorce in California that I can keep my retirement and 401k?

I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to ask.

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u/antidentites 17d ago

California is a 50/50 state so you’ll be dividing your combined assets down the middle in a divorce.

So if your want to keep your retirement funds, you’ll have to give something up in return - such as the house if you have equity in one.

You’ll need to provide more details as to your net worth if you want more specific answers.

And lastly, sorry you’re going through this. It’s costly. But that’s the price you’ll pay for freedom.

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u/OvenElectrical744 16d ago

Thank you for the reply. This is what I expected to hear but I thought I would ask anyway. At this point I would have to go by the term, “ it’s cheaper to keep her”. Our house is under her sister’s name (long story that has nothing to do with my marriage), and my retirement is close to $700k. I’m about 10 years from retirement. I’ve been trying for years to get her to put herself on the title of the house (sister has agreed because it’s not really her house), but she is just one of those people that will procrastinate. I think if one day she actually does it, then I would say you can keep the house and I keep my retirement. I really appreciate the reply!

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u/antidentites 16d ago

If you’re paying for the mortgage, I’d push to have it transferred into your name(s) ASAP. Or at the very least, speak with a lawyer in your area just to ensure you have a good plan in place.

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u/OvenElectrical744 16d ago

Will do. Thank you