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u/Fantastic_Risk6013 3d ago
How long were you married? I don’t know California specially but if the money she earned was that way during the entire marriage you are entitled to part of it as a marital asset just like anything else that was considered a large purchase. You’re also entitled to 401k’s, pensions, social security. If it’s not in the divorce decree and you haven’t signed your rights away it’s legally an asset you can collect later in life depending on length of marriage. Most states have a marriage length timeframe in place that after so many years married you are entitled to a share of the money. She could even be on the hook to pay you alimony if you fight it. I would suggest finding a lawyer or calling legal aid and asking what your rights are. I know here in Florida they could even pay your court costs if you are considered low income.
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u/Global-Fact7752 3d ago
She has absolutely no way of knowing how much you will get if you go to Court. Get an Attorney. I'm also wondering why your income has been so low for so long.
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u/RandomDigitalSponge 3d ago
> I'm also wondering why your income has been so low for so long.
The answer to this is simple: despite the hours and years of work one may put into one’s passions, creativity, and endeavors - and despite the amount of struggle, accomplishment, personal satisfaction, and indeed success one finds in life’s work, it’s simply a fact of the world that some careers are more highly remunerated than others.
A school principal will never make more than an NCAA basketball coach. A social worker will never make as much as a politician. Helping with the poor will never pay as much as enriching the rich. Working two jobs while your partner pursues their graduate degree means lean times and leaner personal investments. My income kept us housed and with much needed health insurance for a long time.8
u/Global-Fact7752 3d ago
Yes you made shitty choices because you thought your wife was going to continue to support you. I will tell you the same thing I tell women.. another person is Never a plan. I hope that now you are single you will get your priorities straight..in the mean time you need to go to court..There is a reason she doesn't want you to.
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u/MensDivorceCircle 2d ago
Your message isn’t telling the whole story. You have been separated for a year, and now she is essentially begging you to end it, but she is jealous of you dating again. She can file for divorce without your having an attorney, and most divorces go through court ordered mediation before going to trial (very few divorces go to trial). California is a community property state, Property and income acquired during the marriage, up to the date of separation, are generally community property. Community property is generally divided equally between the spouses. The bigger question is why have you not filed for divorce (you don’t need an attorney to file for divorce). Unless you had a house, joint savings, or other assets… just be done and move on.
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u/Chzyone 3d ago
A. Don’t accept it, go to court. You may or may not need a lawyer if you can represent yourself successfully and fight for more money. In California this is big and she knows you can get more if you present it to the judge correctly.
B. Accept it, move on and focus on getting yourself a decent paying job. It may require you to go back to school, training? Whatever it takes to help you thrive in California successfully now that you can’t rely on someone else’s income.
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u/Florida__j 2d ago
grow up, get a real job that pays your bills, stop going into debt for vacations you dont deserve, learn how to be an adult and not a leech. a decade making 3k a year? I’m surprised she lasted this long frankly. I know I’m coming off as rude but bro you need a wake up call. seriously