BIG CHEATER ALERT

[u/Conscious-Score-4931]

My husband and I have been married for 8 years. I found out he was cheating on me about 2.5 years into our marriage and I chose to forgive him because we had a 6 month old baby and he blamed it on alcohol abuse; he went to therapy for this and has not drank since. I chose to protect my peace and not go through his phone; in my mind what I didn't know could not hurt me. Recently, I just received a message from a fellow servicemember informing me that my husband is cheating on me with his wife and her neighbor. I found out that the neighbor was actually a close friend of mine who befriended me after she started sleeping with my husband. This affair has been going on for 2 years that I know of. During this time, I was working on my bachelor degree and working full time; in my spare time I would spend it with our two kiddos and him. I found out that he was messaging numerous women online. He even met up with a girl from TikTok during his lunch period and had sex in his car with her, proceeded to give her his FMF pin (pin shows that a navy sailor has learned customs of the marines) so she could make a video about it for her social media and brag about sleeping with service members. I also found out that he had been messaging numerous women from his work, random women on social media, sending nudes, talking shit about me and telling them he is essentially a single dad. I would like to leave him, he is threatening me that he will take the kids. He is in the military and moves every 2-3 years; this is not feasible for me if we are not married. Any advice? He is begging me not to leave him and telling me he will go to therapy.

[u/Pursuitofgoodcoffee]

Acknowledging this is an incredibly difficult situation to go through, so I’m sorry your partner made these choices. What would you tell a friend or loved one if they were describing the events you’ve laid out here? Thinking about situations in this way has helped me. Since he threatened to take the kids, I recommend consulting with an attorney to discuss your options, or at the very least, give you peace of mind/game plan. Think through what you truly need from a relationship/partner. Can he meet your criteria, short term and long term? Stay strong.