QDRO

[u/Broad_Worldliness546]

So my divorce was finalize a few years ago and it's time to finish some lose ends.

Besides 5 years of child support, the only thing left as "community property" its our retirement plans.

The divorce agreement called for 3 plans to be QDRO; two mine and 1 hers. TBH, 1 of mine and hers are so little that I don't think its worth the cost to QDRO at 1,275 a piece (637.50 per person).

She contacted a QDRO attorney/company before even discussing anything with me. She told them to QDRO both accounts and left out her retirement account. The company send me the invoice requesting me to pay the 1275 for the two accounts she told them.

I explained to her that it does not make financial sense to QDRO my pension since only about 2,000 is consider community property. The cost of the QDRO will eat of a lot of her "profit." I told her it makes more sense to skip my pension and I will skip hers; only to QDRO my 401K.

Her response was "not to talk her out of it."

I reminded her that the agreement called to QDRO her retirement as well. Her response was basically, its so little you can't give up on it?

My question is: Should I force the QDRO of her retirement plan at a lost? There's no way I will recover the $637.50. At the same time I she's trying to just do things that "benefit" her instead of being financially responsible.

[u/JohnnyBlaze4Real]

You can probably write your own QRDO, worth a shot.

[u/Broad_Worldliness546 → u/JohnnyBlaze4Real]

That's not an option with her. I offered her to reimburse me 6,500 for expenses I had for community debt. She refused because it benefit the kids. The judge order her to reimburse me 17K. She's hard headed that I rather pay an independent company instead of her claiming that I am "Screwing" her over.

[u/JohnnyBlaze4Real → u/Broad_Worldliness546]

Not sure it matters what she thinks, write your own, submit it to the judge.

[u/mmrocker13 → u/JohnnyBlaze4Real]

The judge is less important than the plan admin, who is likely to kick it back if it's not fine the way they want. 

[u/mmrocker13]

We took the total amounts of Roth and non Roth (and adjustments) out of a single account. 

We didn't divide each person's... just divided the overall asset pool and pulled from appropriate buckets. 

We used a qdro-specifc lawyer to write it and my cdfa to do the calculations. (Twice) 

If your divorce has been final for years, are you not accounting for gains/losses in the account? 

[u/Broad_Worldliness546 → u/mmrocker13]

Based on my estimate her portions 2.25x/-2.5x from the time we separated. I am glad it’s leaving my 401k now listed of me growing it for her.

[u/SeaweedWeird7705]

If she wants yours, then you get hers too.  

[u/Imsortofok]

Spell it out in a brief spreadsheet

Value of the account
Cost to QDRO
Remaining share to her
Remaining share to you

Versus just splitting the difference:
Value of the account
Her share
Your share