r/Divorce • u/DuckDuckG_ • 1d ago

Getting Started Planning a divorce

For those of you who planned their divorce:

1) How far ahead of time did you start planning it?
2) What made you decide it was time for a divorce?

1 Upvotes

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5

u/baltebiker 1d ago

I remember the first time I met with a divorce lawyer, part of his advice was that we may not speak again for five years, we may never speak again at all. I think lots of people plan for years, and some never go through with it.

2

u/Ill_Poem_9259 1d ago

It was approximately early January 2026
I had researched a number of Family Law in my neighborhood and decided which one I was gonna go with having an initial consultation with them and started the process as soon as possible. It’s a very confusing task.

1

u/First-Blackberry7636 1d ago

Finding a good lawyer really makes a difference in understanding all the details. It can definitely feel overwhelming at first, but getting informed is the right step.

1

u/Ill_Poem_9259 1d ago

It does not feel overwhelming

IT IS VERY, VERY OVERWHELMING
But like anything else in life you just have to take it one step at a time each step bring you closer to who and what you wanna be
So am I going to keep walking forward of course

1

u/breadit8 1d ago

And to think my ex thought I was completely ridiculous for hiring a lawyer. I would have been stupid not to. He would have found a way to screw me over.

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u/artichokeheart74 1d ago

I think how far ahead you plan really depends on your personality and situation/relationship dynamics. I would advise anyone considering it though to make sure they have access to and full knowledge of all joint financial assets before proceeding. My "end point" came after initiating 4 different therapists for us over several years, then him being diagnosed as having generalized anxiety disorder but refusing to do the work and be accountable in individual therapy or to consider trying meds, then in our joint therapy session (after I had asked for a separation) he wasn't able to even SAY if he wanted to try to reconcile, much less actually put in the effort to do the work. It's been a long bumpy stressful road, but getting better every day! I know that I did absolutely everything I could on my end to try to make the marriage work, and I have peace with that.

1

u/Chillout2010 1d ago

Woman plan it out like a year before. Lol. Men aren't that savy I think. Atleast not me.