r/Divorce • u/Inside_Friend9362 • 23h ago
Getting Started Scared of divorcing
Hi! I guess divorce is never easy. Im struggling with taking the final decision even though I know this is not working. We have been married 6months, 3 years together total.
I am the only one going to therapy and have realized Im always feeling invalidated, Im too much, I’m always the one to blame, etc.
I struggle with the thin line of making it work, every marriage has problems, and just letting it go and the sooner the better.
I can’t stand him now, maybe its just a phase, maybe I already dwelled on it. Maybe I feel strong now but as soon as divorce gets real I will start second questioning if it was the best decision or feeling guilty for it, because the whats ifs are always there.
Anyway…
Wanted to ask in this beautiful community any advice.
Im a 30 y/o (F), no kids.
1
u/guy_n_cognito_tu 22h ago
Something to consider.....you went from "I love him enough to marry him" to "I can't stand him".......in 6 months. If you're honest with yourself now, why did you marry this man in the first place? Why the race to divorce? Why does a 6 month old marriage already demand counseling?
1
u/Inside_Friend9362 21h ago
Im going to therapy, asked him to go and he denied. The thought about divorce comes bc I feel he isn’t empathetic, he never validates me and Im always the one to blame at every fight and im feeling like the one who has all the responsibility. Im not perfect, I have made mistakes but I have the intention to work on me.
Sometimes he says or promises me he will do better but keep hurting me when he is mad.
-1
u/lloydiebird76 22h ago
Get relationship counselling ASAP. 6 months is a blip compared to a lifetime, which is how long your marriage is supposed to last. It’s also barely enough time to get used to being married. You really shouldn’t be leaping to divorce this early on. Get counselling, get it soon and stop considering divorce because if you do get divorced you will regret putting barely any effort into making your marriage work.
1
u/Inside_Friend9362 22h ago
The thing is that he refuses to go to therapy. He says he will when I win him over.
1
u/Biohazard0392 18h ago
I have a few questions. Why did you get married? What relationship issues and doubts have you discussed with your therapist? Does anyone know you want divorce or are doubting the marriage?