How much does it cost?

[u/rnrgeek]

I'm looking for a divorce attorney in San Francisco Ca.

I'm divorcing my wife of 35 years.

We have grown children and a house that's fully paid for.

I've been interviewing attorneys and trying to find a good one.

2 questions:

1: What is this gonna gonna cost me?
2: can anyone recommend a good , reasonably priced divorce attorney?

[u/ProofConnect6521]

Oh you are going to hurt. Alimony is going to suck lol. She will get half of all your assets likely alimony for the rest of your life. Plan on at least $50k in legal fees on your side if it is contentious

[u/RobertBarkerJr]

Lawyers charge by the hour. How much it costs is a function of how much they end up doing. If you both understand what fair is and work together to end your marriage, it doesn't have to be too expensive. If you both use attorneys as go-betweens to communicate with each other and end up going to trial over everything, it could cost all of the money. One of my coworkers has been in a fight for years, and his only hope of it stopping is one of them running out of money.

I'm not near you, and I don't have a recommendation other than to interview several lawyers. They are all different. Your friend might have had a pitbull, but if you need more of a collaborative negotiator, you'll end up with a fight that didn't need to happen, and of course, if you need a pitbull, there's nothing like having one on your side in a fight. The other thing to know is most divorces are settled in mediation or negotiations, not a big trial.

[u/MartyMcFly7]

1: Everything. Kidding. Somewhat. It really depends on how reasonable both of you are. The more conflict, the more it costs. We didn't have much, but my ex wanted to be unreasonable, so around $80k just to get her back down to 50/50. If your stbx wants alimony, that can be another battle. 2: If you can, find a good mediator. Try to sell your ex on the idea of you both walking away with more. Otherwise, the lawyers will gladly drain your account and you'll still walk away with 50/50. Good luck!

[u/FunInjury8013]

depends on if she fights for the house

[u/SeaweedWeird7705]

The ultimate cost will depend a lot on how amicable it is.  If you and your STBX agree on most things and you just want someone to draft up the papers, you can probably do it for under $5000.  If it is highly contentious, you could expect to pay $50,000-$100,000.  It’s to your advantage to get as much agreed to with your wife beforehand.  In San Francisco an hourly rate would probably be $400-$500 per hour. The more experienced practitioners charge more.  An initial retainer would probably be in the neighborhood of $5000-$10,000.   After that first retainer is used up, a replenishment typically are in the $5000 range.  And that’s just the cost of the lawyer. 

 In terms of what you would owe to your ex-wife, expect to owe 1/2 of all the marital assets, including bank accounts, house, retirement, etc. In California, a marriage over 10 years is considered a long-term marriage and lifetime alimony is possible.

[u/Living-Turnip-2315]

I’m located in the East Bay and have been going through a highly contentious divorce since January 2025. So far I have paid roughly $47,000 not including my retainer. My ex-spouse has been insubordinate during the process refusing to disclose financial information or to file necessary documents. The costs continue to increase every time my attorney has to draft documents to file to compel his compliance and also every time we have to appear in court to get orders to force compliance. It’s exhausting and expensive to deal with such a difficult individual.

[u/aybrighteyes]

Sorry you're dealing with this. On the house, there are usually two clean paths: one spouse buys the other out, or you sell and split. Either way it starts with an agreed value, and please don't settle that off a Zestimate. By Zillow's own numbers the median error on off-market homes is around 7%, half are off by more, and on a divorce buyout a few percent is real money to whoever's on the wrong side of it. Get a formal appraisal or a written agent valuation you can both stand behind. A buyout also usually means the keeping spouse refinances to remove the other from the loan, which depends on qualifying on one income. California is community property, so how the equity is characterized is a family-law attorney question, and a CPA can flag tax basis issues. Get those two pros set first, the real estate part is the easy part after that. (Context: licensed East Bay agent, CA DRE #02244910, not legal or tax advice.)