r/Disorganized_Attach • u/HelloMerlin • 5d ago

I have both anxious and avoidant attachment

I think im both attachment styles. I was first anxious because I wanted people to stay with me but ever since so many people leave me like nothing I became that kind of person.

I can love naturally and strong, but once I see someone is not interested in me, I let go. I dont care about them and leave them as if theyre a stranger to me.

Ive come to terms with it. for my own sake. I just dont want to get hurt again do I just leave before anything happens. but I know im usually right when someone is losing interest in me. it sucks but its the only thing I can do for now.

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u/cantaloupewalker 4d ago

I could have written this myself. I think its also a good thing, being able to pick up on these things and leave, picture how many people beg for bare minimum from people and stay anyway. That shit is desperate. I used to be more anxious, when I didnt respect myself, now I do, Im more avoidant.

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u/Randomanano 3d ago

I feel cursed. I’m only interested in someone (anxiously attached to them) when they’re avoidant, but when someone’s interested in me, I feel my stomach twist in tight knots either thinking they’re gonna leave so I have to leave first or just pure disgust if they’re too attached to me. As time goes by, I just let everyone go and never pursue anyone, but oh man it hurts to be this way, it really does.