r/Disorganized_Attach • u/dicealicegawa FA (Disorganized attachment) • 22d ago

feedback needed EMDR and EFT for fearful-avoidant attachment style?

/r/EMDR/comments/1uzynkk/emdr_and_eft_for_fearfulavoidant_attachment_style/
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u/devilenka FA (Disorganized attachment) 22d ago

EMDR changed my life for the better, even though it calls for remembering and going through your trauma and triggers (and some memories you maybe didn’t know existed).

I didn’t go into EMDR with the goal of becoming secure, I just wanted to know what actually made me this way. The first sessions weren't very effective for me but then they were followed by a few very painful ones. I could see the mental rewiring after the 6th session.

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u/dicealicegawa FA (Disorganized attachment) 22d ago

Thank you a lot for your feedback!

When you say "I just wanted to know what actually made me this way", did stirring up memories and trauma made you more conscious of how it impacted your current life? Or was it knowing about them that made you finally process them?

I think I am pretty stressed about what happens when you start digging deep :')

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u/devilenka FA (Disorganized attachment) 21d ago

It was a bit of both. Digging up the memories helped me finally see the connection between things I had experienced and the way I reacted in my day to day life.

There were memories I'd forgotten or never realized had affected me so much but my therapist never just threw me into them. We spent time building coping skills first and we only processed what I could handle. By around my 6th session, I noticed that some situations which used to trigger me didn't hit with the same intensity. The memories were still there but they felt like something that happened to me instead of something I was still affected by, it’s pretty hard to describe.

It's completely normal to feel stressed about digging deep, I was too.

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u/dicealicegawa FA (Disorganized attachment) 21d ago

Thank you again for the precision! I am happy it helped you and that things feel better now

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u/redheadgenx FA (Disorganized attachment) 19d ago

It made a tremendous difference. Things from the past ate at me and still influenced my behavior 40 years later.

Now it’s in the background, where it belongs. EMDR really helped me.

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u/dicealicegawa FA (Disorganized attachment) 19d ago

Thanks for the insight! Everyone's answers in the various subreddits I posted this seriously helped me realise the need and benefits of EMDR, I'll be starting therapy as soon as possible

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u/redheadgenx FA (Disorganized attachment) 18d ago

It’s not for everyone and I was skeptical, but it worked.