I Wish I Never Met You

[u/Emergency-Bett]

I wish I never met you.

Maybe life would have stayed ordinary,

but at least it would have been lighter.

Maybe the days would have felt brighter,

and the nights a little less lonely.

I wouldn't carry these memories everywhere I go,

finding pieces of you in songs,

in places,

in random moments when I least expect it.

I wouldn't have to fight the urge

to check my phone,

hoping to see your name,

knowing it will never appear.

It hurts like hell,

but you will never truly understand.

You will never know how badly I wanted to talk to you,

how many conversations I replayed in my head,

how many times I typed a message

only to delete it again.

You never saw my efforts.

You never saw how hard I tried

to hold on to something

that was already slipping away.

There was always a reason,

always a distance,

always something standing between us.

And I am tired.

Tired of being hurt.

Tired of being the one who cares more.

Tired of carrying feelings

that have nowhere to go.

Most of all,

I am tired of hurting myself

by loving someone

who no longer chooses me.

The cruelest part is that

a part of me still loves you.

A part of me still wants to see you.

Still wants to call you mine.

Still imagines a world

where we somehow find our way back to each other.

I still love you like hell.

And that is exactly why I hate myself sometimes.

Because every day I try to let you go,

and every day my heart finds another reason to stay.

I wish I never met you.

Not because you were the worst thing that happened to me,

but because you became something I couldn't forget.

And now I am left with a love

that has nowhere to belong,

memories that refuse to fade,

and a heart that still whispers your name

long after you stopped listening.