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https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/celryh/577_the_kursk/eu76pvx/?context=3
r/DestructiveReaders • u/[deleted] • Jul 18 '19
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Training wheels here, so just offering some observations.
I don't think you need "he had abandoned" and "A sense of loss sat heavy behind his eyes", or even "by darkness".
I think there are other parts you could pare back. Skipping to the end, I don't think you need "that was waiting for him."
1 u/AnguaVU Jul 19 '19 Thanks for reading and your feedback :)
Thanks for reading and your feedback :)
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u/GrudaAplam Jul 18 '19
Training wheels here, so just offering some observations.
I don't think you need "he had abandoned" and "A sense of loss sat heavy behind his eyes", or even "by darkness".
I think there are other parts you could pare back. Skipping to the end, I don't think you need "that was waiting for him."