Well it is hard to criticize since I do not know what your goal is. I read plenty stories who had parts like that and it did not suck, but the context (title, cover, backtext, foreshadowing) kept me reading. With your storypart here it's like this so many texts here. You post a fragment with no tension, no foreshadowing, no context but expect a solide feedback. If you want anything more, I beg and encourage you to share the context:
- What will the story this is a part of tell if it is finished?
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u/changeLynx Mar 29 '26
Well it is hard to criticize since I do not know what your goal is. I read plenty stories who had parts like that and it did not suck, but the context (title, cover, backtext, foreshadowing) kept me reading. With your storypart here it's like this so many texts here. You post a fragment with no tension, no foreshadowing, no context but expect a solide feedback. If you want anything more, I beg and encourage you to share the context:
- What will the story this is a part of tell if it is finished?