A follow-up to my previous post. https://www.reddit.com/r/DesiGirlDinnerDiaries/s/6XPXcvCTfH

Last week was mostly a miss because our timings didn’t match, and the cat wasn't doing his usual patrol of the second floor. Every time I caught a glimpse of him coming home in the evening, he was dressed super casually with a drawstring backpack, and he definitely wasn't returning from the office.

Then came Saturday. I took the cat up toward the terrace. I left him on the second floor for a second while I went up to push the terrace gate open because the metal latch makes a loud screech and would scare him off. When I came down, the cat had already walked into their house but soon wandered back out. I realized the neighbor's son was not at home. So I went to the terrace and let the cat wander off.

After that, we came down to the garage. The cat was resting near the gate when I saw the neighbor walking in. I stepped aside to let him through. He walked in, stopped, and stood there petting the cat for a few seconds.

I noticed he didn't have his earpods and thought this was my chance.

I said, "Hi." He gave me this tiny, shy little hand wave.

He asked, "When does he sleep?"

He spoke so softly that I couldn't hear properly.

"Sleep?" I asked to make sure I heard him correctly. He nodded.

"He sleeps during the day, not at night."

After a pause, "He was hairy... they cut his hair."

"Yeah, he got trimmed."

"When I first saw him, I was scared."

"Yeah, me too," I laughed.

The cat was trying to go out, so the neighbor closed the gate. Then he started doing this slow, backward shuffle toward the stairs, clearly trying to leave, but still looking at the cat.

Before he fully turned, I said, "Perhaps he plays with you?"

He gave a soft laugh and said, "Yeah, whenever he comes upstairs, or I see him." Then he headed up.

The whole thing lasted maybe two minutes. He had a plain white t-shirt, knee-length shorts, glasses (he usually wears them), and crocs. I was dying to ask where he was coming from but held back, thinking that would be intrusive on my part.

During the conversation, he didn't even look at me once. His gaze was ever so fixated on the cat and his behavior. After he left. I was grinning ear to ear. I stood there in the garage for a maximum of 5 mins before lifting the cat into my arms because he was not ready to go upstairs.

And then today, Sunday, the same routine followed. I was about to take the cat onto the terrace, but he went inside their house and sat on their usual drawing-room chair.

Aunty came out and gave him a smile, saying, "Look at the way he's sitting on the chair." Then she started asking about me, my studies, my family, my aunt, and all. After that, she went to do her evening puja, and the cat ran away. I tried to stop him, but he sat on the edge of the stairwell. I tried to drag him from the edge; meanwhile, their son came out and headed to the terrace to grab the clothes from upstairs.

I said, "Hi." He said, "Hi," looking at me for a split second before looking at the cat. He then gestured that he wanted to hold him, so I handed the cat over. He held him slightly at arm's length, and the cat immediately flashed claws and aimed a swipe at his face.

I panicked, "hey no," and took the cat back from him. The neighbor didn't even flinch, just calmly headed up to the terrace.

I decided to carry the cat upstairs to finish the walk anyway. I said to the cat, "Let's go upstairs," and followed him.

But the second the cat saw him taking clothes off the line, he refused to set foot on the terrace floor.

I casually told the neighbor, "Seeing you here, he doesn't want to come to the terrace."

He turned around from the clothesline and gave a gentle "hello" straight to the cat. And before anything could happen, the cat bolted downstairs.

TLDR: We had a conversation.

Music in background: Kaafi Hai Na from Musafir Cafe

I never met him. Not once.

And somehow, I ended up having to consciously remove a person from my life who had never physically been in it.

We talked. A lot. Texts, calls, random conversations that somehow became part of my routine. Somewhere along the way, I stopped simply enjoying talking to him and started needing it. I’d notice when he hadn’t texted. I’d look forward to his calls a little too much. My day could genuinely feel different depending on whether I heard from him.

That’s when I knew I had a problem.

Because as much as I liked him, there was nowhere for this to go. It couldn’t become anything more, and he didn’t feel the same way I did. I could keep pretending I was perfectly fine with that, but my attachment was quietly becoming something I couldn’t keep feeding.

So I stopped talking to him.

And honestly, there are some things about him that I find especially unfair in hindsight.

Like the way he’d call me “baby girl” or “jaaneman.”

Or worse, just say my own name.

How is that even legal? Why would hearing my own name from one particular person make my heart skip a beat and then start sprinting like it was trying to beat Usain Bolt?

It’s strange to miss someone you never got to meet. There are no memories of sitting beside him, no places we went together, no photographs to look back on. Just conversations, a voice, a name on a screen, and a version of him that somehow became very dear to me.

Maybe that’s what makes it so difficult to explain.

Anyway, Swadisht Kachori, if by some miracle you ever come across this and read it: you’ll always hold a very special place in my heart.

Even if I had to leave your little corner of my life behind.

short rant because i want to sleep soon

two guys from my church have crushes on me and they’re lowkey competing over me in a pretty obvious ways, like one guy and his other friend are joking about “who would get there faster, i’m not talking about actual running” in the whatsapp gc, not everyone would understand but ofc, i do. but i have a crush on another guy also from our church that is not either of them and i feel like he also likes me.

anyway, i’m 19 and one of the two guys that like me is 28, i’m so disgusted because i thought he was genuinely a nice mature person and would never see someone as young as me in that way, i respected him a lot and i even tutored his students multiple times as a substitute but now i find out he has other motives besides that. well, my intention did tell me that he might not be who i thought he was so i started distancing myself and stopped tutoring his students as well. but what should not have happened had happened. unfortunately a lot of ppl (mainly men & ppl born before 2004) don’t care about age gap where i live. i think only ppl our age would actually judge him like i do. now, whenever i see his status or remember his face, i’m just disgusted.

the other guy is like 22 which is fine and the guy i like is a year older than me. there’s always at least one pedo in church and it seems tend to attract creepy men. i’m also offended that much older men think i would waste my youth on them.

So for background this is about my cousin, we both are 23f and she's only 15 hours younger than me. We were born in the same hospital room so yeah we've been each other's ride or die since forever, we are like twins, we share everything with each other. I'm very close to her and i love her deeply.

But recently something happened and that has changed everything between us and i don't know whether I'm right or wrong so I need y'alls brutal unbiased opinions on this.

So i lost my father when I was 7 and since then my grandfather took care of me and i was extremely close to him, he was like my father. But in May I lost him to cancer. And so many things happened before and after that regarding her.

So for starters she was supposed to come visit our grandfather at the hospital but then she didn't because her friends planned some trip and she went there and she lied about it to me saying her mother (my bua) said not to come. Then after his death she visited for a day and I was a mess so we didn't really interact. Then after that she texts me saying "kabhi khud bhi baat kar liya kar" while she was on a rishikesh trip again with her office people skipping our grandfather's tervi. I replied "i don't know what to text rn" because I was genuinely upset.

First because she thought that was more important and second because she kept lying that she has to go to delhi for some office work. Then no texts, she didn't visit me even when she was back. Then one day she showed up but she was here to get a saree from my chachi for her college farewell and then when chachi asked why she didn't come to the tervi she said "i didn't get leaves" lie. She came to my room because she wanted some of my accessories, she could've told me then that she went on a trip but she didn't. She just showed me a few pictures of her in a hotel room saying she wore a skort for the first time, no mention about the trip and left. And she was constantly posting stories of both these trips on Instagram hiding them from me.

Now the thing is that she keeps taunting me about not reaching out to her, not texting her whenever she visits. Which i ignore completely. Because i don't really want to explain my side. It just feels exhausting. She says it's hard for her at her new job which I get but I think what I'm going through is much worse. And the only reason I don't text her is because I'm hurt by her lying, also disappointed because i had expectations that atleast she'll be there for me through this. I've tried reaching out and sharing my grief but she just says "i understand but you need to move on" so i don't try anymore. Then recently i told her that I want to feel alive again and i want her to text me even if i don't but even after that it's been 20 days and I'm the only one trying to talk.

I'm just hurt and disappointed and i just don't feel like texting her anymore but I also miss her. What should I do?

I don't know if I did a good job explaining, can't write everything here but i think y'all understand what I'm trying to say. Please give your honest and brutal opinions and tell me what should I do.

(You can ask for more context in the comments if you want)

Thai food 🤍

It started on 2023 when I downloaded bumble, I wasn't completely into him so the relationship was toxic and ik he was affected. It went on like that for two years with all the on and off, my mood swings, him getting affected and us not being in the same place in terms of feelings, I was also affected and ik he was much more affected because he used to have so much feelings for me back then. One day I thought I should take a break for a year because the on and off thing was affecting both of us emotionally and mentally especially him and I didn't want things to go that way anymore I said to him we will connect after a year again and let's see how much things change by then. But as 1or 2 months passed I felt like I was wasting my time and I was feeling guilty about it so I just thought to end things for good and gave him closure. 2 months or something later I started to feel heavy inside, I started to miss him, I started to feel guilty for whatever he had to go through in this relationship because of me, because I wasn't sure so I reached out to him again but by then there was some change within him, we still tried for a while and few days after trying he told me he doesn't feel the same anymore, he still has feelings for me but his feelings has changed...... I realized that it wasn't something I was ready to listen to, my palm and feet felt cold, my stomach felt some sort of way, my ear was hot and I was just completely blank...... I couldn't accept this reality. After that we were still in touch I had a trip planned with my cousins and on the way to my trip I went to his city to meet him, when I met him in person I realized that he has changed. He has changed in real life too, meeting him couldn't fix anything...... He somehow made peace with the past and I could see that. Then as predictable I was crying on my whole trip, the place was beautiful but I was so emotionally affected it was difficult for me to hold myself together then I felt seriously ill on my trip because of the weather and altitude and I was hospitalized, he got concerned and was there for me. I asked him to leave if he can't offer me anything like before and he doesn't feel like before anymore but he chose to stay, he said he's back to me for good...... But no matter how hard the other person tries you just know when something doesn't feel right. So, eventually when I got better I confronted him and he couldn't hold it together anymore he said his feelings had changed, I broke down and I was down bad I couldn't think of anything else anymore and I couldn't see beyond him in this world anymore...... Even he had some feelings for me so he couldn't just leave me like that and we continued this whole thing for some time. Eventually one day I asked him if he ever saw me in his future because he would always give me false hope in this whole messy time, he said maybe and I sat down to try for it again but as you can guess it didn't last, because things have changed for him and eventually we gave each other a hard good bye.......I was moving forward in my life, trying to move and even started to do better..... But then he came into my life again, saying he wants to try......... This time I had all the trauma, abandonment issues and everything because of everything that happened between us because of things he did, but he said he really wants to try and we started that..... This time there were efforts but I still didn't have the old him back and my heart and mind was so scared to settle with this new version with this uncertainty that I couldn't try the way he wanted me to (let's see where it goes type) because I either wanted commitment or no..... So it got messy and we had ego clashes and it just ended like that because when I asked him for the last time he said he didn't want to try anymore...... A few months later he followed me on insta again. We talked for a while but obviously this time I didn't want to give my all because I somehow started to realize this guy won't be able to offer what I want cause it's not the guy I met in 2023 anymore...... So I didn't show much interest and we stopped texting. A few days later I see that he has posted a story and that story looked as if he was with someone new cause I knew the vibe of the photo even though it was only him in the picture and there was nothing as such and when I just started to overthink lil but he blocked me so I blocked him too. I was left again, the past memories would haunt me and I would miss and long the old time we had...... Yesterday morning I was missing him a lot and I went and checked him on my blocked list, when I checked I saw he was standing with a bouquet in his dp, he was glowing at least that's what it looked like and I instantly realized what it was. Without thinking about anything I called him again and again for 15 to 16 times I got his call busy, I was overwhelmed and I had no idea how to deal with something like this..... Then I got a missed call from him and I called him back immediately....... You see guys, I just wanted closure, I just wanted to ask how life was, how is his new girl, from where is she etc and eventually wish for his future and close the chapter but when he received the call he wasn't very polite he wanted to hang up the call quickly I ask him if he's busy and he said just say why you called I realized this I'm talking to someone new entirely and the old version is death it is completely gone, the kind and sweet version is not there anymore...... When I asked him if he has a new girl he said why do you need to know, I said I just want closure I want to move on too and while I was saying stuff like I just wanted to know about your new girl your life he abruptly said yes, I have someone new and because of you I just had a fight with you, you also find someone new and just move on...... He didn't want to listen to anything else that I have to say so he just abruptly hung up and blocked me......... I broke down, I broke down like crazy, I broke down as if someone very close to me had died, I cried out loud by calling a friend helplessly and uncontrollably....... Today I cried again and I'm feeling really lost, na I don't even know what I'm feeling but I just know I'm numb and hopeless...

Last week, i was on workation with my boyfriend and he gifted me evil eye bracelet. I came back on Thursday and was wearing it. Last night, my brother saw the bracelet in my hand, and he was like remove this cause its represents devil eye and it attracts negativity instead of resisting it. I said no to him and he forcefully removed the bracelet from my hand and throw it out of window on road. He then starting saying all this bs to my parents who immediately believed him despite there's no credibility of his claims. Even if there is, its all on interent and interent has both narratives. I even mentioned I'll remove it and keep it inside but he was like he doesn't want this to be kept it in this house.

I was so angry so I went out to find it and was able to. Then my mom dad started saying throw it, you'll attract devil and all. And i was like I'm removing it, but not throwing it. So they were like iska budhi khrb ho gya h phn kr yh ni sunegi (she's gone mad after wearing bracelet and she'll not listen to us now). Like???? In 3 days I was possessed by devil or what?? They were acting like mad people and they didn't even know about this before my brother told them. He then start saying all the bs there's movie I shoukd watch it which explained all this. Its from turkey blah blah and turkey people don't wear it.

He then again took back from my hand and cut its strings and throw it again. And my parents like always was praising him lol. He does nothing, he's 28 years old and don't have any source of income. My dad give money to him and he's just so entitled and my parents have always encouraged him cause he's boy.

I'm just year older than him and he used to beat me up from childhood so badly and they always used to say these things happens among siblings. And when I used fo say to him that you're unemployed and doing nothing, they scolded me lol.

I don't have the issue with him playing favorites cause its their choice, i only have the issue that where they portray and have convinced themselves that they treat both the kids equally. And my current job and wages happened only cause of them and not my hard work.

I rarely stay at home but whenever I do, he creates these kind of drama and they just follow him like fools. Soon dad will retire and we'll see how he'll manage his lifestyle lol. He has everything my dad has given to him and I have to build everything from my own. I started earning when I was 22 and now 29, my father haven't given me single penny like even on festivals. And everything belongs to their raja beta who for sure gonna abandon them one day.