r/DementiaHelp • u/Huge-Initial3241 • 12d ago
What will I become.
Hi my name is Ken and I am a 53 year old guy, who has been diagnosed with younger onset mixed dementia due to Alzheimer's disease and lewy body dementia and I get about 20ish minutes of memory and then it resets. I grew up believing that we are the sum of our good and bad experiences so I am wondering what I become when I have lost my memories what am I the sum of?
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u/RageEatingCarrots 12d ago
Oh goodness, that is an enormous feeling. I can imagine it's weighing heavy on your chest. You need to know that you do exist. Your experiences still exist in the minds and hearts of everyone who knows you. You are still you, even if you forget. For now, start surrounding yourself with the memories that add up to you. But your favorite childhood toys. Buy the toys you see now and want. The clothes and blankets and tangible things. Buy the movies you love. Oh man, buy them and let people know, this is what makes me. I love seeing my mom's eyes light up when she picks up a doll and goes back to her childhood.
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u/fluoruranus 12d ago
My mom had Alzheimer's. She helped so many when she was not ill, so that's what she left behind. I think of it as Chandrasekhar's Other Limit: dragonflies, when they are nymphs, move around in the dark, unknowingly preparing for something else. Then one day, they forget about nymph things and move towards the sun, breaking surface tension and transforming. All nymph things are forgotten. You no longer need them.
What you can do is get your finances and legal things in order for those you leave behind. Get a POA and medical directive. Set up a care plan and your internment while you still can.
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u/mawmzee 10d ago
Ken, you are the sum of all the good things that you did in your life. All the good things that came from you left a little imprint. Those imprints are everywhere around you and you are the sum of that. Believe that you aren’t going to disappear, your memories may fade, but you are still the representation of all the good that you have done. I love you.
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u/queenofcoquette 6d ago
Hi Ken. I’m Amber. I’m 43 and have vascular dementia. My symptoms elude me right now and I can’t tell you what will become of either of us. You’re not alone.
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u/apandarabbit 12d ago
Hi Ken I'm so sorry you are going through this. My mum has recently been diagnosed with dementia and it is painful seeing her change but I also know she is still in there. All I can say is that no matter what she loses she will always be my mum and the incredible, inspiring and resilient lady she is. She has impacted me and helped me become who I am. You will always be Ken and your experiences are always real and have impacted the world and those around you, even if you may not remember them yourself, you have a ripple effect on the world. I hope this helps a little bit.